no more dolce vita

this weekend two customers told me they hated me. another one said i totally ruined her weekend and at least ten others threatened to take their business elsewhere.

the reason? because i was the bearer of bad news. yes, this barista brat had to inform her customers that the cinnamon dolce latte is no longer available.
i understand that people get attached to their drinks, but attached to the point of heartache when a syrup is no longer available is pretty ridiculous. in fact, it's downright stupid. so what if you're drink of choice isn't available anymore. is that any reason to yell at the barista? does that make it ok to tell people you hate them? what, you think this barista brat was the one in charge of the "no more cinnamon dolce" decision?

well, guess what? you'll get over it. i know it hurts now and you can't possibly see how life will continue, but i assure you it will. just like life continued after bux discontinued chocolate brownie fappuccinos. and those mocha coconut frappuccinos you loved so much. life didn't end when we quit carrying chocolate fudge cake or those dumb penza bars. so suck it up and try a new drink.

barista rant: why do you find it necessary to smear your fingerprints all over the pastry case? why is it necessary to touch the glass barrier that separates you from your snack of choice? why can't you just say "i'd like an espresso brownie" instead of tapping on the glass multiple times and muttering "i want that". what's next? are you going to lick the glass to see what the snack tastes like? keep your hands to yourself and use those verbal skills


Benny said...

Oooooh, grrrrr.

I SO have a rant today, but it doesn't warrant a post on my own blog. Mr. Dumbass Popped-Collar comes through my line today. I hate him. Prada leather flip-flops, jeans shredded just-so, greasy black hair, women's sunglasses, and ALWAYS a mothertrucking popped collar. If only he were gay- it'd be endearing. Alas, he thinks he's god's gift to the fairer sex. He storms up, sunglasses on, doesn't greet, and says, "Are you going to have vanilla suchnsuch coffee today?" "It's brewing," I say helpfully, double-checking with someone who'd know better. He's in the process of handing me the money for his coffee. "Ugh! It's BREWING?" he asks. He is going to sit down and read a paper, yet he's pissed that he has to wait two more minutes for a scalding fresh pot of his favorite coffee. It's all about the timing, Mr. Popped Collar!

This is the kicker, though- he hands me the money from a wad of bills, and then counts out his loose change, and says, "I owe you a penny."

What the fuck??? What do you mean, you "owe" me a penny? You HAVE the money! Pay me the damn amount so my till isn't off at the end of the day!

This happened TWICE this morning. And the other (earlier) time, I actually felt sorry for the old guy. He was a penny short for his coffee. But then the bastard came up fifteen minutes later with twenty dollar bill and ordered a brownie. Know what his change was? .51 cents. Guess what? He pocketed ALL fifty-one cents. After telling me fiteen minutes earlier that he'd "owe" me.

People, from now on- if you can't pay the EXACT amount, I will snatch that cup or plate right back out of your motherfucking hands. Don't think I won't. It's the principal, baby. The PRINCIPAL!


Thanks, Brat. I needed that. ;-)

Robb said...

I love how your rage grew as the rant went on, as measured by your use of the word "mothertrucking" early on and "motherfucking" at the end. It's hard to tell just how mad somebody is when you are reading their writing instead of listening to them scream, so the use of profanities and semi-profanities is a great tool.
I'm learning how to write from Brooklyn.

Also, my life really did nearly end when they discontinued those great cranberry cream-cheese-icing brownie things that were at the Bux during the holidays. I ripped the innocent barista a new one, then wandered into the streets, distraught, and was nearly hit by a bus. But don't worry, lesson learned: really take your time yelling at the employees. If you time it wrong you might get hit by a bus.

barista brat said...

b - don't worry, you can always rant here! i'm lucky. bux rounds everything to the nearest nickel and i rarely have to deal with pennies (unless that's someone's payment method of choice).

robb - aww, don't worry. you're cranberry bliss bars will be back in november.
and it is possible to yell at a barista for too long. one lady was bitching about us putting too much foam in her cappuccino and made us remake it from scratch instead of just adding more milk. well, by the time she made it to her car she found her window broken, her backpack and cd player stolen.
guess who didn't shed a tear.

[sic] said...


You were dead on with the Muppet question EXCEPT I did play drums once upon a time - and quite well I might add. Animal was/is my man. Can you think of a better character you'd rather be, aside from maybe Dr. Teeth, Fozzy, Gonzo, or (forgive me forgetting) the little french speaking lobster.

barista brat said...

there was a french speaking lobster?!?
mon dieu - je ne me rappelle pas!

Ale8one said...

No more penza bars?


guerrilla blogger said...

the monkeys love to touch the glass...