bgtf = stupid juice

blackberry green tea frappuccinos make people stupid.
my former partner, who is a barista brat at another bux, just told me of a customer who is deathly allergic to blackberries, but was willing to risk her life just to savor our new blackberry green tea frappuccinos ('bgtf' is the cup marking). of course she ended up in the emergency room and had to spend the night in the hospital, but days later relayed to the barista brat that being able to partake of the frappuccino was totally worth anaphylactic shock and an outrageous medical bill.
are you kidding me?

and in my bux, the "green tea frappuccinos give me the runs" lady has come in nearly every day to order a venti bgtf. she hasn't yet told me whether the blackberry syrup speeds up or slows down her bowels, not that i'm particularly interested but as you know she likes to keep us informed.
there are also the customers who insist there is no caffeine in the bgtfs because they aren't made from coffee. even though we tell them ('til our aprons turn blue!) that green tea does indeed have caffeine, they shake their heads and tell us that green tea is healthy and nothing healthy contains caffeine.
well - do healthy things also contain insane amounts of sugar, whipped cream and blackberry drizzle? yeah, didn't think so.
but my favorite bgtf story has to do with the stupid bux partner from another store who insists on coming to my bux just to order the bgtfs. why? because apparently we make them so much better than she can make them herself.

please - stay away from the bgtfs! they will make you stupid!

customer rant: listen to me when i'm ordering! don't half listen while you tell your co-workers about how hungover you are because you partied into the wee hours of the morning before your opening shift. it doesn't impress me, it doesn't make me feel sorry for you, and it certainly doesn't help for tips if you can't keep focused on my damn drink order for ten seconds. not only that, you wrote the wrong drink on the cup and when i had to ask for it to be remade, you had the nerve to tell me that you wrote down exactly what i ordered. do your damn job properly. brag about being drunk during your break! and don't start complaining how no one tips you. you've done nothing to merit being tipped!


Bravemonkey said...

I've never been a fan of the green tea frappuccinos... the blackberry makes it palatable at least (but even then I don't like it).

The person with an allergic reaction must seriously be insane. Seriously.

Sling said...

The "green tea is healthy" thing cracked me up..It reminds me of my "hefty" friend who orders 2 big macs,a large fry,and a DIET coke...you know,...to avoid that extra calorie..

Ale8one said...

no way, few things if anything is worth a trip to the ER. was this lady really on a drug OD?

guerrilla blogger said...

oh my god that was hilarious, that right there is passion and dedication, risking life for a frappuchino...awesome.

you should take it as a compliment that someone feels comfortable around you enough to discuss thier bowels with you....at least lie to yourself that is what it is, helps you deal with it....

Benny said...

I feel for the customer being helped by a hungover barista. One of my co-workers is a major gossip, but she seems to only want to gossip with I'm at the register helping the most fastidious customers. She's a sweetheart, but I'm constantly swatting her away. She's got, like, no common sense.

Dr.Gray said...

You cant judge green tea by starbucks garbage. It would be like judging all cars on your one experience with a broken down pinto. Do yourself a favor try something like this - latte matcha. And do yourself another favor, dont ever go to starbucks again.