let's get ready to ruuuuuuummmble!

easter sunday is usually slower than most sundays. that means less idiot customers and happier baristas.
today, however, the easter bunny brought more than just eggs.

it started quite innocuously. a customer brought in his own mug and asked for a coffee. the register partner filled his mug with coffee and gave him his total of $1.60 (price of a grande drip minus the ten cent cup discount). he tossed a dollar at her and walked off saying, "that's all i have".

register partner asked me what to do and explained the situation. i told her to just ring it up as a refill so her till wouldn't be short. jerk customer overheard me and snarled, "what , you think i'm trying to rip you off?"
"well, you didn't pay the correct amount." i told him and started to tell him our refill policy.
"i don't give a shit about your damn policy. i come in here all the time - "
"well," i interrupted him, "if you come in all the time you should know what our policy is and bring enough money to pay for your coffee."
"well, too bad! i already got away with it and there's nothing you can fucking do about it!" he yelled. "i go to all the starbucks around here and i always get away with it, so fuck you!"
"well, now you can strike us off the list. go ahead to the other stores. you're not welcome here and it's time for you to leave."

during the time jerk customer was being loud and combative, one of our loyal customers decided enough was enough.
"you heard her," loyal customer said. "you better leave."
"mind your own damn business!" jerk yelled.
"if you don't leave this second i'll carry you out myself."
"go ahead and try it asshole!"
so loyal customer walks right up to jerk customer who spits out a "sit your ass back down". loyal customer remained perfectly calm, trapped the guy in a bear hug, picked him up right off the ground and carried him out like a bag of groceries. jerk customer ran off with his tail between his legs. it was the coolest thing i've ever witnessed in a bux. gotta love those loyal customers!

barista rant: don't accuse me of giving you old coffee! i told you i was re-brewing and it would be a couple more minutes for a fresh cup. you said ok. when i gave you the fresh coffee two minutes later, you asked if it was fresh. well of course it was! why the hell did you think i made you wait for it? after you took a sip you came back and asked again if it was fresh. i assured you it was, even showing you the timer but still you insisted it tasted like old coffee. "when i make coffee it never tastes like this!" you told me. when i explained you might not be accustomed to the particular roast we were brewing you said "when i make coffee it never tastes like this!". at that point i gave up. you just weren't worth my time anymore.


Ale8one said...

i would have paid high dollar to see that!

littledevilworks said...

Wow. I don't think my local bux is nearly as exciting. :)

Benny said...

I wish my loyal customers would toss around some of my managers!

I can't believe the stuff that goes down at your Bux! ;-)

[sic] said...

Man. I haven't been to 'Bux for a few days now and feel like I'm missing out on all of the fun! I need to get back in there first thing tomorrow morning and pray that some loser asshole strolls in with a fist full of pennies and expects to walk out with a $4.22 Machiatto.

It would be so gnarly to watch a gaggle of lesbian regulars open a can of familial whoop ass on someone like that. (No disrespect towards lesbians and "family" intended.)

barista brat said...

at bux today everyone was talking about "the big fight". even some of our customers were talking about it. i think the rest of the week is going to be pretty dull after easter sunday, sunday, sunday!

Beth said...

Your regular customer ROCKS!

jehara said...

what. . . an. . .asshole.