please sir, may i have another

it's funny how sometimes when you put a customer in their place, they try and become your best friend.

incident #1
a customer came in and wanted a doppio macchiato in a tall cup with steamed milk and foam all the way to the top of the cup. at that point the drink is no longer a doppio macchiato but a double tall cappuccino. when i explained this to the customer she got all bent out of shape, informing me that "all the starbucks do it!" and that she "always orders it that way!".

well i let her know that this starbucks won't do it and we will charge her appropriately.
she tosses some more words at me, i volley them right back at her, and after she realizes that she won't get her way, she turns sugary sweet and lets me know she doesn't mind paying more money, she was just confused because the other stores charged her differently. then, as her drink was being made, she talked about how much she loved our bux because we make the best drinks and have the nicest baristas, yadda, yadda, yadda.
talk about bi-polar.

incident #2
customer orders an extra hot latte with no foam. she stands by the bar watching as every drink is made, then starts screaming at the barista because he was putting foam on a drink.

"dammit! i specifically said no foam! you better remake my drink from scratch!"
"ma'am, that's not your drink," i tried to tell her while she was still yelling.
"did i or did i not make it clear that i didn't want foam!"
"yes you did make it clear!" i had to raise my voice to be heard above hers. "that's why there won't be any foam on your drink when he makes it!"
"oh, i thought that was my drink," she muttered.
"is that why you were yelling?" i couldn't help it, she really pissed me off.

now everytime she comes in she's sweet as pie, always making a point to say hello to me and chat with me about some stupid subject, telling me how i'm such a hard worker and how much she loves how fast we make her drinks, blah, blah, blah.

so the moral of this story is put a bitch in her place and she will love you forever, haha.

customer rant: there were five baristas on the floor. no drinks had to be made and no one was doing prep or cleaning. so why did i have to wait at the counter for five minutes before someone even acknowledged me, mush less take my order? no apology for the delay. nothing. just a deadpan look and monotone voice when you asked me what i wanted. way to be legendary, folks.


Sling said...

works the same with irate dudes at the bar..I once had a guy ask me"When was the last time you had your ass kicked?"..I told him,"last time I pissed my mom off!"..We were friends after that.

Tom said...

I am addicted to your blog but never comment, so I thought I would comment just to say that I am addicted to your blog. Maybe this is replacing my coffee addiction because I can't drink it anymore, it makes my heart go all arrhythmic. So sometimes I'll go into a Starbucks with my laptop and buy a juice and sit for a long time working, with the smell of that forbidden coffee all around me. But don't start ranting, if I'm there for a really long time I tip triple the cost of the juice. Is that enough of a tip for me not to be evil?

Benny said...

Bitches better be nice to y'all, or that's not exactly FOAM on top of their espresso...

barista brat said...

sling - i love it! am i allowed to steal that line?

tom - thanks for coming out of hiding! and yes, you're actually quite a low maintainance kind of customer. i'm sure your bux loves you!

b - why'd you go telling everyone about the "special sauce"!

Sling said...

Feel free to use it anytime you need to ;)

Ceetar said...

Barney: It's going to be legendary!
Ted: Don't say that! You're too liberal with the word "legendary".
[flashback to Barney standing at Ted's door in snow gear with a shovel]
Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park! It's going to be legendary! Snow-suit up!

from How I met Your Mother. kinda fits your description of the store in your rant.