friday night hell

just got home from a hellacious night closing.
damn you lindsey lohan and your stupid movie! thanks to you we had teen and preteen girls all night long ordering caramel frappuccinos to take with them to the movie theatre.

this is just a sampling of the customers i wished i could do bodily harm to tonight:
mr. "this just doesn't taste right" - sorry dude but i made your mocha the way i make all mochas, and none of my other customers have ever complained about it before. so i can only conclude that the problem lies with you!
mr. "this is too watery" - you claimed that you couldn't drink a frappuccino that was so liquefied so i remade it thicker only to have you then turn into mr. "this is too icey".
miss "um, my friend ordered the wrong thing for me, teehee!" - as if your waistline is really going to notice the difference between a java chip frappuccino and a java chip frappuccino light!
mrs. "i want two half caff shots! not one regular and one decaf!" - let's go back three seconds, shall we? what the hell do you think two half caff shots are made of? loosen that hausfrau bun and think it over, ok?
mr. "who's your manager?" - yeah dude, i'm really shaking in my skechers since you threatened to tell my manager that i didn't offer you a free drink because we ran out of maple scones.
miss "hello! i said herbal iced tea! not passion iced tea!" - hey bitch-in-training, before you mouth off and complain about your drink, make sure you actually have something valid to complain about. also take note that passion tea is indeed herbal tea.
and, of course, let's not forget mr. "your toilet wasn't flushing, but i really had to do number 2 anyway. sorry!"

partner rant: why the hell do you ignore me when i ask you to prep? could you not see that i was the only person on bar and i had ten drinks to make? so when i asked you for more caramel syrup and more whole milk why did you continue to call down the line? and when there was no one else in line, why did you start talking to the register barista about your "new ride"? did you forget we need milk to make drinks? did you fail to realize that you weren't doing anything useful? doofus, you're an assistant manager! please, make an effort.


Benny said...

Brat, I am so, so sorry about your Friday night. People are just plain stupid. It's the American way. I'm convinced.

I was reading this article in the NYT about "emotional support dogs" and the people who claim their little dogs ought to be allowed in restaurants and stuff because without that fucking chihuahua, they wouldn't even be able to face the light of day, goddammit! Yes, there are tards who actually write prescriptions for this- and not the Humane Society matching homeless animals with senior citizens, or with people in hospitals, or with people who are blind or deaf- but then there are the Muffies and Buffies of 5th Ave. who try to rip-off the system by claiming their ugly little accessory rat is something it's not. I'm like, "No, this wouldn't happen anywhere else. And not only would it not happen anywhere else, but anywhere else would not have these paranoid, neurotic dumbasses threatening to SUE an airline because their 'emotional support' goat (yes, goat) wasn't given its own free seat on an overbooked flight."

I'm pretty sure that woman with the hausfrau bun had a real-live goat to console her the minute she left your Little Shop of Have-It-Your-Way Horrors.

silversonic said...

I hope the toilet guy went home and killed himself.

barista brat said...

b - "emotional support dogs"!!!
i'm all for them being able to sue if i'm allowed to counter sue them because of their stupidity.

silversonic - we can only hope...

Ale8one said...

ha, ha, you made the wrong drink barista! and i hotboxed your bathroom!!

[sic] said...



BTW: I took my daughter to see the very Lindsay Lohan movie you curse and I never once purchased a Caramel Frapuccino for either of us. Instead, I had coffee heath bar ice cream and she had something with oreo's.

barista brat said...

[sic] - and the baristas in your town thank you!