say it again - with feeling

i don't understand some of my customers. it's as if they've already decided that anyone who works at bux must be a moron or a complete imbecile (mind you, often times you will find both - but that just means they haven't been weeded out yet).

today a woman came in and handed me a post-it note.
"here, this is what i want. my friend wrote it down because i can never remember what it's called." she informed me.
the post it had the words 'tall double white mocha' written on it.
"did you want a double tall white mocha with two espresso shots or did you want a tall white mocha with double the white chocolate?" i asked her.
"what does the paper say?" she snipped.
"it says 'tall double white mocha'. i'm just looking for you to clarify what the 'double' means." i shot back - pissed that she was treating me as if i were an idiot.
she takes the post-it back from me and reads "TALL...DOUBLE...WHITE...MOCHA!" out loud. pausing in between each word, and pointing her finger in the air for emphasis.
"fine," i say through gritted teeth. "i'll get you a tall white mocha with double the syrup."
i grab a tall cup and start to mark it when she yells out "NO! not the small one. i want the TALL one!"
"you mean a venti?" i practically sneered, but her idiocy was lost on her.
"the tall one!" she yelled again and pointed to the stack of venti cups.

my fellow barista brat told me i deserved an award for not going off on the lady. i tend to agree.

partner rant: please, please, PLEASE make a proper schedule! just once, just so i know you're capable! today our orders came in - just like they do EVERY monday, and still you failed to ensure there would be a person on the clock to put away the product. what was the result? well, boxes and boxes in our tiny backroom making it very difficult to re-stock and prep. and i bet you'll start bitching tomorrow when you see they weren't magically put away by elves in the night. it is your responsibility to manage the store and that includes the schedule. we will not work off the clock so don't try short scheduling us again!


Anonymous said...

Ah BB, isn't there a Bux down the street where you can hang your apron at,be appreciated,and work in peace? But then, how enertaining would that be..don't you just want to say "NO MORE COFFEE FOR YOU! NEXT!"

Ale8one said...

good work on that one.

Tom said...

I have to say part of this one is The Company's fault. By using "tall" to describe something that is in relation to others of its kind actually "short," Starbucks has contributed to the degradation of language, meaning and communication in our civilization. All while making a good cup of coffee, mind you.

Benny said...

I have to agree about the tall=small thing. Irony is too easily lost on the pleebs when money is being transacted.

However, can I just tell you about a woman who came through my line today? She was gnarly. And all gnarled-up. She looked like one of those "witchy women" who wander through forests with wolves on their shirts and crystals around their necks. Usually, these women are easy going. It's part of their profile. Well, tomorrow's when shipments arrive- we're always out of shit on Tuesdays. We were out of her favorite syrup. She stared at me, shooting down all my very polite suggestions. You know, to boldly go where her idiosyncratic palate had never gone before. Then she started crossing her eyes and shaking her head at me, and she kept saying, "I. Am. So. Upset." Meaningfully. I just stared at her and apologized. She said, "I NEVER get like this," as though I'd knocked her chakras all out of alignment or something. "I can't BELIEVE this," she said. Over a freaking syrup. A SYRUP.

She wanted free shit. Oh, hell no. I don't just GIVE away shit because it's your unlucky day. Maybe if I'd let you order your drink and we got all the way to bar with it before someone said, "Ma'am, we're all out of your syrup." But no. So eff you, honey. And eff your karma, which must suck. I'm not giving away anything else to anyone EVER again. Luckily for me, I have tight-ass misers for managers who will stand by my decision one hundred percent.


Citymouse said...

How do you do it? I'd go postal the first day.

Freaky Filly said...

yes! i like anonymous suggestion...become the coffee nazi! that woman deserved to be hit on the head with her tall cup.

barista brat said...

anon - i'm waiting for the day i win the lottery so i can spend an entire shift going off on idiot customers.

ale8one - thanks, haha.

tom - once upon a time the "tall" situation made sense. because at the time we only sold "short", "tall" and "grande" sizes. but in our supersize society an 8 ounce short cup was not enough caffeine so bux chucked it and introduced the "venti".

b - haha, you made an unhappy hippy! what the hell was she doing ordering coffee and not organic tea? i love how you crushed her dreams of a free drink.

citymouse - it's all about the stock baby!

freaky filly - yeah, that woman was horrid. she even gave my fellow barista brat a hard time after her drink was made.