invisible jerks

when i started my shift yesterday the assistant manager warned me that "everybody is a jerk today!". apparently something was in the air and his morning was filled with grumpy customers and their demon offspring. my first ten minutes on the floor were spent listening to him complain about every customer that rubbed him raw. their offences ranged from not saying "thank you" to suggesting he find a "more experienced" barista to help him on bar.

i guess that's the reason why he couldn't find time to prep or clean for the closers. i guess that's why he decided to spend the last hour of his shift in the backroom and i guess that's why he couldn't be bothered to say good-bye to us when he left for the day.

so, although i had twice as much to prep and twice as much to clean, amazingly i had ZERO customers with attitude. not a one! there were no complaints of "i didn't order it like that!", "this tastes burnt" or "you're taking too long".
i guess i could have deduced that all the idiot customers ordered their coffee earlier in the day and i just hit the cool customer jackpot, but i'm pretty sure the reason my assistant manager had so many complaints was because he is very complaint worthy. he's only been at my bux for a couple weeks and already he is becoming a legend - or should i say "infamous".

partner rant: i understand you're having an off day. i did everything in my power to let you go home three hours early, even though it meant i was running a person short. in exchange for letting you go home and deal with your drama, i asked you to stock the bathroom and condiment bar before you left. it was a task that would have taken you ten minutes tops. so why did you lie to me and tell me that everything was stocked? not ten minutes after you went home a customer informed me that there were no paper towels or toilet paper in the bathroom. mind you, i was in the middle of stocking the condiment bar. you know - the one you supposedly had taken care of.


Coffeypot said...

Some jobs are just too big for a little person, or maybe he just needs to get laid. Give him a shot of whipped cream in his pucker region and maybe he will cool off.

The Girl with Moxie said...

Ha ha ha! I love the "shot of whipped cream in his pucker region". How about some shaving cream foam, too?!

Brat, based on everything you write, it sounds like you have great energy and you do not take customers' gripes personally. You seem to listen and want your customers to have every latte be the best damn cuppa Bux they ever had. I doubt Mr. Infamous truly grasps this concept.

I lift my soy vanilla latte to you! Cheers!

Coffeypot said...

BTW, I have already told you that Mr. Infamous is still your boss. And what does boss spelled backward say? Double SOB! So just start calling him “boss” and it can be your little secret.

mellowlee said...

Why do they always make managers out of people like that? How do they get those jobs? Is it based on seniority? I can never understand it. seriously! I worked at a Super Store here in Vancouver, and I swear the manager of my department was a MORON! She had us doing tasks that made no sense, and were completely pointless just to show that she had the power to tell us what do to.
Ok, sorry this has officially turned into a rant, but GRRRRRRRRR to bad managers and assistant managers! *G*

Anonymous said...

Sorry that your ASM sucks, Brat... These comments that make it sound like we ae all bad are frustrating though. I am an SM, and I can sleep well at night knowing that my partners wouldn't think that of me, or either of my ASM's. I think you are great, and you can come be a borrowed partner at my store anyday!

Beth said...

The Starbucks deities are sending in the a**holes to torture him.

Writeprocrastinator said...


The worst of it is that he will never see how much of it he brings upon himself and he will go to his grave, thinking that everyone else has a problem. What did Einstein say? "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."

It's something that I've learned the hard way.


I know that in my company, half of the managers are picked not by their managerial skills or general knowledge, but for their propensity to be jerks or pitbulls.

A lot of companies view their employees as sheep and they think it's a great idea to have a wolf run things.

Peter said...

"not ten minutes after you went home a customer informed me that there were no paper towels or toilet paper in the bathroom".

Good Lord, I would go postal. My father made it clear to me, early on and repeatedly, that the world doesn't owe me anything. I hope that lesson has kept me from acting like this guy.

First Year said...

I hate those lazy lazy coworkers. I don't get people who take twice as much time to complain and cover up not doing something as it would take just to do it.

lighterate said...

missing your rants lately, too much work and not enough to time for fun

SkippyMom said...

Barista I warned you against hiring Tweedle Dee or Daa, now didn't I? giggle....

I love the "cool customer jackpot" -guess ol' boss was having a hard day. Nice of you to "take it easy on him"...heehee!

Ben Heller said...

I hope that customer hadn't sat down on the thunder box before he/she realised that there was no toilet paper.
Customer's walking through coffee shops with their pants around ankles is not a happy sight.

barista brat said...

coffeypot - haha, i'd do what you'd suggested, but i want to keep my job!

girl with moxie - thanks for the comment. i truly enjoy my work, but i've been known to mouth off to a jerk or two :)

mellowlee - honestly, sometimes i think corporations are desperate for management and they'll hire anyone "qualified".

anonymous - haha, thanks for the invitation! and don't worry - i know not all managers suck. in fact that's why i judge my current management so harshly. i know what it's like to work for an awesome assistant manager and the best manager in the world.

beth - i think you're right!

writeprocrastinator - i think i will print that quote up and post it in the backroom.

peter - if only your dad could teach this to everyone!

first year - absolutely!

lighterate - you've been missed! hope all is well with you.

skippymom - haha, i know she needs a job again!

ben heller - you just made me shoot tea out of my nose with that comment.

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