sunday, freaky sunday

sundays seem to bring the most random collection of customers to bux.

in the 'too much information' department, we had two customers who shared much more than they needed to.
first there was the lady who was (seemingly) overly concerned about the moisture level of our crumble coffee cakes.

"are they really dry or are they pretty soft?" she asked us.
"well, the top is crumbly - so that might be a little dry, but the bottom part is moist like a cake." we told her.
"is the top really, really dry?"
we kind of shrugged our shoulders. seriously, i'm not sure if the crumbly bits are 'really dry' or 'really, really dry'. i wasn't taught that at barista school.
"you can always get a refund or exchange it for something else if you don't like it." i suggested.
"well, ok. i just hope it's not super dry." she said before paying and finding an empty table.

about five minutes later she walks back up to the register with something wrapped in a napkin.
"you see?" she said through a barely open mouth. "it's too dry!"
then she opened the napkin to reveal her false teeth - as if it were somehow proof that the crumbly bits actually were 'really, really dry'.

the second customer was a guy who spent ten minutes at the register telling us how he hasn't had a date in six months. that information in itself wasn't over the top. the disclosure that he was having frequent herpes outbreaks was indeed much, too much info.

in the 'i'm soooo friggen' high maintenance' category we have three freaks with too much time on their hands.

the first was the lady who wanted a doppio macchiato (that's just foam with two shots poured over the top). this lady, however, didn't just want the foam. no - she wanted the creamy layer that hid just BENEATH the foam.

"you know, that stuff that's not quite foam and not quite steamed milk!" she said with a smile, as if that would make me think she was any less of a high maintenance barbie doll.

second was the guy that wanted his shaken iced tea to have fresh ice when it was poured into the cup. that meant we had to shake it with the ice, then strain the liquid into a glass, and add fresh ice that was not previously used in the making of his drink.

and third was the kid - that's right, an eight year-old KID, that wanted a chocolate milk.

"but only two pumps of chocolate. give me an extra pump of vanilla and use milk from a container that hasn't been opened yet - i like fresh milk - and then just put about five ice cubes in it, but make sure all the syrup is completely mixed in, and then i want whipped cream with caramel on top. but just one swirl of caramel, not a whole bunch, ok?"

can you imagine what this kid is going to be like in ten years?

barista rant: we have gone over this so many friggen' times! when you ask for a venti drip, and i then ask you if you'd like room, just say yes! if you just say yes, then you won't feel the need to pour hot, steaming coffee in the trash can to make room for the milk you're about to put in your drink. if you continue to say "no, no room" then i won't leave any! so please, just say yes! that way when i empty the trash it won't weigh ten extra pounds from the coffee that you and all the other idiot customers dump in it to make room!


The Girl with Moxie said...

I have seen several people do the "pouring out" trick and it boggles my mind...Bux coffee ain't cheap and you just threw away at least 25 cents, if not more! That's laundry money, you nit!

P.S. And a very merry unbirthday to you as well, Brat!

Beth said...

BRAT! It was your birthday? What did you do to celebrate? I hope not go out with Herpes Boy ..........

Natalie said...

I think the dentures in the napkin is hilarious. What does that have to do with the moisture level of your baked goods? Insanity! Oh that kid, he's already a menace to society.

Ben said...

haha. The dentures in the nap-kin. I bet you wanted to laugh really.

barista brat said...

girl with moxie - exactly! don't these people know that they actually save money by ordering a grande drip in a venti cup?

beth - it was my UNbirthday, haha. and no - i will not be going out with herpes boy any time soon.

natalie - i guess she figured it was more polite that opening her mouth wide and gestering to it.

ben - it was one of those situations where you hold it in until the person is gone, then you erupt in giggles.

pseudostoops said...

If that's the kid, can you imagine what his *mother* is like? Oy.

Ceetar said...

well at least the kid knows what he likes...how did he find out that's how he likes it though? What poor barista had to remake his drink 8 times because there was an extra pump of chocolate?

Juliet said...

Hey there, I'm a new reader of your blog. Perhaps the macchiato woman was from New Zealand- here we have a drink called a flat white, where you try to get as much of that in between layer as possible. Everyone loves them here.

Anonymous said...

ok...so if I forget to ask for extra room and you forget to ask me...what am I supposed to do with the extra coffee? I have always thought it would be great to have a container near the trash for something like that...or a sink!

jehara said...

why do people feel it's okay to do things in public places they would never do at home? (like pour coffee into a trash can?)

it's still annoying but i prefer when people come to the bar and ask if you can 'make room' because they changed their mind or they weren't asked. at least that way you know it's going into the sink and not the trash.