one plus one equals four

if you know anything about this barista brat, you know she's not a complete subscriber to the "just say yes" school of thought.

yesterday a woman in chanel sunglasses came in carrying two drinks which were clearly more than 24 hours old. one cup held the melted remnants of a tangerine frappuccino juice blend and the other was marked as a venti mocha.

"these were both made very wrong," the lady said in her heavy accent. "can you please to remake them?"
sensing a scam i asked what was wrong with the drinks.
"my friend said 'white mocha' but they gave her mocha and this other one doesn't taste so good."
"ok, i can remake them for you," i offered and started to mark two new cups.
"no!" she stopped me. "please, because of mistake i would like this to be small white mocha and small latte." she pointed to one of the cups. "and this to be small of tangerine drink and small caramel frappuccino."
"you just said you didn't like the taste of the tangerine frappuccino." i responded, realizing she had probably gotten away with this a million times before.
"well, maybe this time it will be tasting good." she shrugged her shoulders. "please, just giving me new drinks for these."
"i'm not going to give you four new drinks." i informed her. "I'll remake them for you, but that's it."
she tried to bargain with me, telling me that two small drinks for one large one was fair, but i remained inflexible.
"i have no problem remaking them for you, but i'm not going to give you four drinks, one of which you said you didn't like in the first place."
"fine!" she threw her hands up in the air. "just giving me new ones."

before handing her the newly made drinks i wrote in big bold letters "NO REMAKE, NO REFUND" on the cups. bet she won't be trying this again anytime soon at my bux.

barista rant: yes, i know the bathroom door was propped open after we mopped. yes, i know you asked me if it was ok to use the bathroom. but what i meant was you could CLOSE THE DOOR and use the bathroom! what gave you the idea that our other customers wanted to hear you pee while they waited for their drinks? were you really in such a hurry to go that you couldn't take the 2.7 seconds to shut the door behind you? please, some things are meant to remain private affairs.


The Girl with Moxie said...

Today's scam stopper was brought to you by Sharpie: preventing Bux con artists from reusing day-old cups since 1987!

Ben said...

I can't believe there's people out there who want to scam over a cup of coffee. Their lives must be terribly lonely.

Minogue said...

Hey BB, I found you on my friend John's site (ATB.com) and I visit your blog every day - you are great. And I love bux. Everyday when I read this, I crave a venti white mocha...

Anyway, genius idea writing NO REMAKE, NO REFUND on the cups. Bux should take a lesson or two from you.

[sic] said...

You see, Brat. No matter what 'Bux you work at, it's all the same in the end.

Have a great Starbuckian day, baby-cakes!

Off to write...


Beth said...

It's a sad, sad world when Chanel-sportin' customers feel they need to scam for a $4 drink. Just don't get it ...

Robb said...

Sounds to me like those sunglasses were FAKIES!

pseudostoops said...

It's sort of remarkable that this would actually work, ever. It would never occur to me to try to transform a melted tangerine frappucino into a small white mocha. That takes gall.

barista brat said...

girl with moxie - too funny! that should be one of their new sharpie mini commercials.

ben - i think there must be some "thrill of the scam" because it happens so often.

minogue - thanks for stopping by. and if you're feeling adventurous, try a venti two pump coconut, three pump white mocha.

[sic] - too true. at first i thought my blog would end when i came to this bux, but each day brings forth a new freak to write about. hey - you have a new blog yet? glad to hear the writing is flowing!

beth - very, very true. but as robb pointed out - the chanels were probably fake.

robb - i neglected to mention what other FAKIES the lady had as well.

pseudostoops - do you have an rei near you? i had a friend that worked there and they have the craziest refund policy ever. basically you can bring something back in any condition and they will give you a refund. she told me that people would bring their hiking socks - totally used and worn to the point that there were holes in the toes and heels - and rei would still give a full refund. returning old socks to a store and getting your money back - now THAT takes gall, haha.