blah, blah, blah

so, although quite bratty, i can also be a chatty barista.
but i'm not a 'i'm going to talk your ear off and you're going to want kill yourself to escape my voice' barista.

uh, yeah - worked with one of those today.
he is very nice and seems to be a decent worker, except for the fact that he never shuts his mouth. mind you - it's not that i hate conversing with people, i just hate being talked to non-stop for my entire shift. you can't get a word in edgewise, and if you walk away or start cleaning something, this guy will follow you around with his mouth running the whole time.

his favorite subject is himself.
every sentence must commence with an "i really hate...", "i'm allergic to...", "someday i want to...", "i believe that...", "i'm an avid...", "i'm really talented at...", "i can't stand people who..." only to end his tirade with a "but i'm a really humble person".

let me tell you, you can only nod your head and say "uh-huh" and "yeah" so many times.
it got to the point that i was outwardly ignoring him just to stay sane. he noticed and changed tactics by saying, "do you know what i like best about..." to try and manipulate me into asking "what?" therefore forcing me to listen to his endless list of likes and dislikes.
honestly, i probably wouldn't have minded so much if he kept busy while he gabbed. but he didn't. he just continually wiped the same square foot of counterspace with a rag while telling me the exciting tale of how he chose his shampoo.

i work with him twice more next week and i'm not looking forward to it. especially since we're in a slow store and i can't even count on customers as a distraction.

barista rant: did you not see our posted hours of operation? it very clearly states what time we close and yet half an hour after we've locked our doors you appear like a stray puppy. "please can we get a drink? just a small one!" you beg. when i give you the universal hand sign for "we're closed - go home!" you press your palms together and plead some more, "i just really need a coffee. pleeeeeeeeeease?". again, i let you know we have closed for the night. your response? you stomp your foot and threaten to never come to my bux again. honestly, do you think i care?


Beth said...

I hate that kind of guy. Can you suggest that he work on something on the other side of the room?

Natalie said...

I think you need to think up some kind of snappy remark to shut him up.

Tom said...

If the snappy remark doesn't do the trick, I'm sure there must be industrial strength cleaning solvents stored somewhere at your store. You can experiment with which ones can't be smelled or tasted when mixed into a vente cocobananalatte.

barista brat said...

beth - i did send him to another part of the store, but like a stray puppy - he kept finding his way back to me.

natalie - unfortunately i don't even think blatant rudeness would get through to him.

tom - remind me never to get on your bad side!