1. "the stalker"
do NOT sit at the table directly across from the hand off counter and stare at your barista each time she calls out a drink.
do NOT pretend you were 'just spacing out' when she makes eye contact.
do NOT make it evident you're just trying to muster the nerve to talk to her.
once nerve is located, do NOT ask a stupid question such as "hey, what exactly is a frappuccino anyway?"
do NOT inform your barista that drinking coffee makes you pee a lot.
do NOT mutter a "good-bye" and leave, only to come back thirty seconds later to ask your barista if she is working the next day.
do NOT walk out the door only to return a second time to make sure your barista heard you when you said "good-bye".
do NOT call bux half an hour after leaving to ask the barista out over the telephone.
2. "the flashy dealer"
do NOT ignore your barista when she asks "what can i get for you today" and continue talking into your telephone.
do NOT make your barista wait while you finish telling the person on the other end of your phone that you just got kicked out of your baby mamma's house.
do NOT toss money at your barista while still talking on the phone.
do NOT continue to talk into the phone loud, informing the whole store that you have a grand worth of weed in your belongings.
do NOT give your "business" card to your barista, letting her know that the strip club you're managing has a pole with her name on it.
do NOT offer your barista ten bucks to give you a ride to your buddy's house so you don't have to call a cab.
do NOT ask your barista if she wants to "have some fun" later on.
do NOT tell your barista that you don't care if she has a boyfriend, you just "wanna flow and shit".
3. "the creepy ghost"
do NOT write a poem about your barista on a bux napkin with your phone number on it and leave it on the table for her to find.
barista rant: do you really think i have the power to make bux lower their prices? do you think i was the one who decided all bux's nationwide should hike up the price of your pastry an additional five pennies? if you realize i'm not the one who makes those kind of calls - then don't gripe to me about it! there's nothing i can do to change it, so just accept the higher price and move on. or better yet - save yourself the calories and skip the snack, ok?