newbies do the dumbest things

as promised: the nominees for dumbest newbie mistakes. some of these may involve some backstory.

- newbie who made the mistake of asking the assistant manager (not realizing, of course that she was speaking to the assistant manager) if she wanted a smoothie from the store next door because she'd already hooked-up the smoothie place "a bunch a times" and they owed her.
- newbie who had her mother call in sick for her, only to show up to get a drink before she went to the beach.
- newbie who made all drinks with regular espresso, even when there were supposed to be made decaf. his excuse: "so what? it still tastes the same."
- bux makes our own whipped cream and we use these special gas chargers to do it. it's easy: put charger in cap, twist until you hear gas released into container, toss charger. so, when we kept coming across "dead" chargers we thought the charger company was gypping us, sending us empty cartridges instead of full ones. well, we soon figured out newbie was putting used chargers back into the drawer to be used again. see, she thought there was an unlimited amount of gas in each charger, and once the cartridge was punctured it would re-seal itself. are you surprised she lasted less than a month?
- newbie who made every frappuccino a size too big so he could drink the excess. of course he was ready to puke by the end of the night.
- bux has many baristas that work more than one job. just so happens one newbie also had a job at the bagel place two doors down. well, newbie called to say that there was a death in the family and she couldn't come in for work. imagine the lead's surprise when he went to buy a bagel and newbie was the one to take his order?
- newbie who was being trained on how to make frappuccinos and how to top them properly with whipped cream. when he was told to clean the excess whipped cream off the lid of the frappuccino, he scooped it off with his finger and then licked his finger clean. right in front of the customer AND the manager.
- newbie who was covering a shift at a different bux and thought she could get away with breaking the rules at a store that wasn't her own. too bad for her the district manager who came if for a coffee saw her eating and drinking while she rang up customers.
- newbie who asked "um, just out of curiosity, what would happen if they found out you lied on your application and found out you didn't really quit your last job but got fired for stealing?"

i'd love to hear any newbies stories you might have. i know it's super easy to tell when your barista is new.

barista rant: are you kidding me? please - let me know what was going through your mind when you pulled every single toilet seat liner out of the holder and placed them on top of the trashcan. not IN the trashcan but ON it. was it supposed to be modern art? was it supposed to be some statement about bathroom waste? or are you just an idiot who felt it was necessary to do something to prove that you'd been in the bux bathroom?


Natalie said...

Do you mean to say that making art of toilet seat liners is taboo? Such party poopers. =)

benny said...

There are some laugh out loud moments here. The greedy kid making the frappucinos too big is one of the best.

But never trust a skinny barista! :-)

Beth said...

OK; they all get my vote. You'd think, if they can fill out an application, they'd grasp the basics, such as not coming in for a drink on the way to the beach ...

The Girl with Moxie said...

I just found this blog yesterday and would much rather read it than actually do what I'm paid to do. Very funny stuff here. I have a couple questions:
1. Do you have a glossary or index on what certain Bux lingo means? If not, could you start one?
2. Last summer a Bux manager made me this fabulous nonmenu item, strawberry blended black tea. He told me that when I order it I should tell the barista it's like a strawberry blended lemonade, but with black tea instead of lemonade. Even when I give this explanation, I still often wind up with bizarre concoctions. Should I give up, continue to educate, or just get it at Bux locations that understand the order? Also, the way they charge me for this drink in grande has ranged from $1.70 to $3.85 - it is crazy. I am more than willing to tip well for this special drink but it makes my head explode when they charge me like it's Frappy Frapness. Any suggestions?

barista brat said...

natalie - there was pooping involved, but it was not a party.

benny - i say never trust a barista that doesn't drink coffee!

beth - i have a feeling mommy and daddy sometimes help out with the applications.

girl with moxie - 1. i think i will start a glossery. i'll just need to beg beth for help with how to set up the link. 2. the bux manager told you correctly how to order it. blended strawberry lemonade with black tea instead of lemonade should not confuse the barista, but unfortunately not all baristas are created equal. the price thing is confusing because it is considered a frapuccino of sorts. i can't remember the exact price, but around three dollars sounds right. the 1.70 price is definately just for tea.
thanks for stopping by!

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Class factotum said...

The story about the guy subbing caf for decaf is a bit scary. I have finally figured out, after years and a lot of money for different doctors and different drugs, that it is caffeine that causes my headaches. As in, I will probably never drink caffeinated coffee again. (Yes, it is very sad, but I suppose better than having a headache twice a week that requires a $25 painkiller to eliminate.) Jerks like that make me afraid to drink anything but coffee I have made myself.