7.15.2006

memories...

so, with just over a week left in my store, i've been fondly (or not so fondly as the case may be) reminiscing over past barista, customer and partner experiences.

the nominees in the "stupidest customer category" are:

- the lady who refused to call a frappuccino by it's name, instead insisting it's called a 'CRAPuccino'. it would be funny if she hated the things, but no - she actually drank them all the time.
- the lady who drank the blackberry green tea frappuccino even though she's deathly allergic to blackberries and ended up in the hospital each time she drank one.
- the man who waited ten minutes for his 'espresso brownie' drink, not realizing an espresso brownie is a pastry and that he had been clutching it the whole ten minutes he waited.
- the teen who asked if we carded for caffeine.
- the teen who argued with my awesome assistant manager that a white chocolate coffee based frappuccino was a totally different than drink than a white mocha frappuccino.
- the customer who asked me if we sold cigarettes.
- the customer who asked for a totally sugarless and syrupless latte, then complained that it wasn't sweet.
- the lady who argued with me that tea doesn't have caffeine since they are made from leaves and herbs.
- the lady who complained because our coffee cake didn't have coffee in it.
- the man who tried to get me to add his smuggled kahlua into his frappuccino.
- the teen who asked if i would give him a free drink because his friend worked at the coffee bean up the street.
- the customer who got pissed because there was milk in his kid's cocoa. he though we made instant hot chocolate with hot water.
- the man who insisted on an 18 second shot, even though we explained 20 times that our machines are now automatic.
- the lady who wanted to drink her latte from a ceramic mug, so she pulled one of the display case. when i explained that it was merchandise and she would have to purchase the mug if she wanted her drink in it, she replied "well, can't you just rinse it out when i've finished with it? i'm sure the person who buys it will never know."
- the teen who tried to get a free drink by flirting.
- the teen who wanted a discount because he was a christian.

i'm sure i've left quite a few off the list, but these are the most memorable in my mind. tomorrow will be the nominees for stupidest newbie mistakes.

barista rant: so yeah, you're upset that i'm leaving this bux. but don't yell out "i hate you! how can you do this to me?". i'm sorry if this feels like a divorce to you. i'm sorry that you're not happy with how my fellow baristas make your drink. just remember: it's not you - it's me.

7 comments:

Ale8one said...

don't forget the hotboxing bathroom episodes!!

Benny said...

Sugar-free, syrupless latte? "Um, I wanted the sweet milk. Duh."

Beth said...

Do we get to vote for each category?

barista brat said...

ale8one - that's right! how could i forget mr. hotbox?

b - yeah, not a lot of genius' around, know what i mean?

beth - of course! vote often!

SUEB0B said...

The crapuccino lady - I think she works with me. And she thinks that IS the name.

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Not Perfect said...

My vote is for the blackberry lady, becasue really, nothing is stupider than deliberately putting yourself in the hospital.

And if I can give an honorable mention, I'd like to nominate Charity Teen for what may be greatest self-serving fallacy of logic in history.