two for one

one of my assistant managers has two faces.
the first face is that of ned flanders from the simpsons - or maybe that of an ultra perky elementary school teacher. this face comes complete with a grand canyon smile, bright wide eyes and a vocabulary filled with words like "whoopsie-patoopsie!", "perky power!" and "oh my gosh, billy bosh!". this is the face she uses when she's working register, making drinks or tidying up the lobby.
her other face is that of a trash talking, wine-cooler swilling malcontent university dropout. every sentence ends with a "whatever!" or a "bite me!". assistant manager wears this face when she's not in her green apron, or when she needs to vent in the backroom because life at bux got a little too "raw".

customers love her. partners...well, partners often times want to slip her a sedative. i've never had any major problems with her but lately she's been slacking in her daily duties. too often she'll "forget" or "run out of time" to prep, stock and make sure breaks are given. "we been slammed all morning!" is another one of her excuses - er, reasons for turning over crappy shifts.
so, after a weekend of her spending most her shifts in the backroom to do "manager stuff" and leaving the rest of us shorthanded and under-prepped, assistant manager had the nerve today to get on my case for not leaving her a note that we were running low on iced venti cups.

"oh, did you run out this morning?" i asked her - surprised because i was sure there were enough cups to last at least a day.
"no, we didn't run out but it would've been nice for you have left a note. okie-dokie artichokie?"
"ok," i gave her a fake smile. "no problem. by the way, are we out of frappuccino base?"
"no, we have three cases." she informed me with a puzzled look on her face.
"what about cbb? are we out of that?"
"no, we have plenty." she was still confused.
"oh, i figured we must have run out of both since you didn't prep any for the closing crew."

after that exchange i found out assistant manager has another face - and it comes with egg all over it.

partner rant: could you wash your apron please? maybe just once this MONTH? i'm not asking you to dry clean and press your apron, i'm just asking that it still looks green - not brown and black with random patches of dried milk and sugar. not only does it look terrible - it stinks to high heaven. so please, do us all a favor and stick your apron in the wash.


xhotcoffee said...

We have a partner who will throw his dirty apron in the sanitizer and hang it by the icemaker to dry.

Apparently this is easier than taking it home and wahing it.

Calamity H. Jane said...

You are my new 'working-hard-at-hardly-working' blog to read. Love it! Why the hell am I just finding you NOW?

Kiz said...

Yar! Rough seas be no excuse fer her to be sittin' mighty in the hole while ye's left ta swab th' deck. Siftin' through the bilge seem like more suitable work fer her. K

Film Aficionado said...

My manager at the bakery I worked at was similar, except her pseudo-chipper mood couldn't adequetly conceal her bad side.

Beth said...

"Perky power"? I threw up a little in my latte cup ...

Marni said...

Good Lord -- I'd have to hurt her in the first few minutes. People like that make my head hurt.

pseudostoops said...

"Okie dokie artichokie?" I'm dying. I'm totally working that into conversation today to see how people respond.

Ben said...

You handled her daily dalliance in activity perfectly.Top management.

You didn't lose your cool, just a couple of direct questions for her to think about.

Benny said...

I'm so glad my managers sit in a little room in a different building. Their attitude? "I don't care how you get it done. I don't even want to know how you get it done. Just get it done." :-)

SkippyMom said...

Your really called her on that Barista, nice job....in such a subtle, kind way...she never saw it coming....woohoo!

And the apron in the sanitizer xhotcoffee.....ewwww...isnt' that a health code violation or something? seriously that made my skin crawl, yuck! (funny in an ewww kind of fashion though!)

Thy said...

her register face is the kind of face i can't stand

mellowlee said...

Go YOU!! Maybe she will get transfered, although I can see a few great posts in the future at her expense *G*

Peter said...

"okie-dokie artichokie?"--Anyone who says shit like that is just asking to get knocked out.

barista brat said...

xhotcoffee - haha, i've seen partners do that before as well. one guy wondered why he could never shake his cold and i think it was because his apron was always damp from this method of "cleaning".

calamity h. jane - thanks for the compliment!

kiz - you said it! haha.

bbakon - i'll admit, i was taken aback when i first heard her talk trash in the backroom.

beth - as always - you crack me up!

marni - it's true, she induces many headaches.

pseudostoops - haha, let me know if they giggled.

ben - sometimes it's hard to keep my cool when i deal with annoying managers.

benny - you're a lucky girl! and you get to wear your jammies to work!

skippymom - haha, they usually toss it in the sanitizer when it's empty - not when dishes are in it.

thy v. - haha, but believe it or not, there are those that LOVE it.

mellowlee - it's true, with the management shuffle she might very well be sent somewhere else, but for now she's very much planted in our store.

peter - i handle that better than "whoopsie-patoopsie!"

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