one of the best things about working for bux is interacting with our regular customers. most of them are awesome (not just because they tip well and give us gifts during the holidays) and it really means a lot to know that we baristas have a hand in making their days just a little bit better.
because these regulars are so comfortable with us, they talk quite freely with us about pretty much anything that crosses their minds. often times our conversations are mostly innocuous. but on occasion, our customers will say things that leave us baristas with our mouths agape, wondering if we really heard what we thought we heard.
for instance:
one of our regulars had been absent from our bux for several weeks.
brat: hey matt! where've you been? we haven't seen you for awhile.
matt: hey brat, i just got back from israel.
brat: cool, was it for vacation?
matt: yeah, it was great. you ever been to israel?
brat: no. i have friends who tell me i should, but to be honest i'm kind of nervous.
matt: oh, all that bombing stuff is exaggerated. just make sure you fly el-al when you do go.
brat: yeah, i heard el-al is one of the safest airlines.
matt: it is - because we really know how to smoke out those arab terrorists!
brat: ...........
we also have an elderly man who comes in every afternoon on his rascal scooter. he's really a character, talking to anyone who'll listen. he also uses his scooter as an assault vehicle on anyone who gets in his way. the other day i was on register when he ordered his coffee.
mr. rascal: heya, give me a cup of coffee for here and one of those marble cakes. make sure there's plenty of chocolate on the marble cake, alright?
brat: no problem.
i held up a couple slices for him to inspect before placing the one he wanted into a pastry bag.
brat: here you go.
mr. rascal: i just got back from visiting my brother and sister-in-law.
brat: did you have fun?
mr. rascal: oh yeah, they made sure i got plenty of chocolate while i was there.
brat: that's nice.
mr. rascal: you know - it's true what they say about chocolate.
brat: what, that it's a natural anti-depressant?
mr. rascal: no! what, are you dumb? chocolate makes you horny!
brat: (laughing) uh, o.k.
one of my fellow baristas was at the condiment bar when a regular walked over to put sugar in her coffee.
customer: i love this store, you guys always work so hard and it's so much cleaner than the store down the street.
barista: thanks, we try!
customer: plus, i like the patrons here better.
barista: yeah, we have a pretty good batch of customers.
customer: the other day i was late for work so i just ran into that other starbucks. what a mistake!
barista: really? what happened?
customer: well, you know how that store is crawling with armenians?
barista: uh......
customer: well, there were these two guys in line in front of me that seriously just stepped off the boat.
barista: uh......
customer: they kept asking for 'latte coffees' and the poor barista kept trying to explain the difference between a latte and a coffee, but they just kept ordering 'latte coffees'. so she rang them up for two lattes. i guess that's not what they wanted because when they picked up their drinks, they took a sip, started yelling in armenian and threw their lattes on the floor! i felt so sorry for the baristas working that had to deal with those f.o.b.s!
barista: uh.......
and my personal favorite -
customer: how many shots of espresso can you put into a venti drip?
barista buddy: we can pretty much add as many shots as you'd like.
customer: is five shots too many?
barista buddy: not if you like it very strong.
customer: it's not the flavor i care about. i just need to jumpstart this guy. (he starts pointing to his crotch)
barista buddy: *tries very hard to complete the transaction without looking at the customer's crotch*
barista rant: don't come and complain to me about another customer sitting in "your seat". if you haven't already noticed - there is no assigned seating in our cafe. there are no rsvp signs, and no hierarchy that guarantees you get your favorite chair by the window every time you come to drink your mocha. don't bitch and moan to me, telling me i should have "seen you coming" and let the customer know that they'd have to find another seat. that's not my job, and if having your own personal spot to place your butt is so damn important to you - then go home!
8.27.2008
8.19.2008
ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
as per every six months, my manager sat down with me recently to go over my review. now, i never sweat these things because i'm very good at what i do, and my managers know it. in fact, my reviews are always very short and sweet because there's never any need for clarification or discussion.
this review, however, was by far the most entertaining one i've ever had.
of course i scored very high, and of course my raise was deserved, but there was one comment my manager made that had me in stitches.
under "areas of opportunity" my manager wrote:
'brat needs to be more welcoming of new policies and needs to embrace change within the company.'
i tell you, i let out a roar of laughter when i read that.
you see, i don't deny that i've been resistant to the 'new and improved' changes bux has been making. in fact, i've been quite vocal within my store concerning the ridiculous (in my opinion) decisions howard has made since his re-coronation as ceo.
not only do these new decisions add more work (with no additional labor allotted) for baristas, but they also are money-wasters.
seriously.
does anyone remember that failure called 'chantico'?
now the latest thing is our vivannos, which have not been the smashing success we baristas were supposed to make them.
and remember when howard said he was getting rid of the the breakfast sandwiches? well, he's not. they are here to stay, and will be joined by oatmeal.
that's right.
we will soon be selling oatmeal as part of our breakfast menu.
'but what about the coffee, howard?!?' you might have heard me scream.
well, his answer is this: protein lattes.
i. kid. you. not.
oh yeah - coming soon bux will be offering protein lattes for those customers who feel the milk in their beverage is just not enough protein in their cups.
now maybe it's me. maybe i'm the one that's totally off base. perhaps there are a million people out there who sigh each time they take a sip of their bux beverage and think "oh, if only this latte had five more grams of protein - THEN my life would be perfect!"
or maybe this will be yet another promotion that will be pushed, then forgotten.
and, to top it all off, those horrendous chanticos have gone through a metamorphosis and will return as 'signature hot chocolates'. which again means more work for the baristas with no added labor to the schedule.
seriously, howard needs to work an hour in my store - or any store - so he can see the reality of what is going on in bux. sending us memos and dvds with 'inspirational' tripe which supposedly reiterate his passion for coffee is NOT cutting it with us baristas. we don't believe it anymore. his actions do not match his words.
but maybe it's just me. maybe i just need to find bux redemption in the bottom of an oatmeal cup.
barista rant: are you blind, or just passive aggressive? first you literally PUSHED me out of your way while i was cleaning up the condiment bar. excuse me for assuming you'd like to prepare your coffee at a clean spot. then you rolled your eyes because i was restocking the napkins. seriously - it took me all of 5 seconds to fill the napkin dispenser, so why the attitude? and then, after i'd cleaned and stocked, you decided that spilling nonfat milk all over the counter was apparently justified. not only that, you grabbed a napkin to wrap around your cup, yet left that nasty spill in plain sight. it took all my control to keep from calling you a cow to your face.
this review, however, was by far the most entertaining one i've ever had.
of course i scored very high, and of course my raise was deserved, but there was one comment my manager made that had me in stitches.
under "areas of opportunity" my manager wrote:
'brat needs to be more welcoming of new policies and needs to embrace change within the company.'
i tell you, i let out a roar of laughter when i read that.
you see, i don't deny that i've been resistant to the 'new and improved' changes bux has been making. in fact, i've been quite vocal within my store concerning the ridiculous (in my opinion) decisions howard has made since his re-coronation as ceo.
not only do these new decisions add more work (with no additional labor allotted) for baristas, but they also are money-wasters.
seriously.
does anyone remember that failure called 'chantico'?
now the latest thing is our vivannos, which have not been the smashing success we baristas were supposed to make them.
and remember when howard said he was getting rid of the the breakfast sandwiches? well, he's not. they are here to stay, and will be joined by oatmeal.
that's right.
we will soon be selling oatmeal as part of our breakfast menu.
'but what about the coffee, howard?!?' you might have heard me scream.
well, his answer is this: protein lattes.
i. kid. you. not.
oh yeah - coming soon bux will be offering protein lattes for those customers who feel the milk in their beverage is just not enough protein in their cups.
now maybe it's me. maybe i'm the one that's totally off base. perhaps there are a million people out there who sigh each time they take a sip of their bux beverage and think "oh, if only this latte had five more grams of protein - THEN my life would be perfect!"
or maybe this will be yet another promotion that will be pushed, then forgotten.
and, to top it all off, those horrendous chanticos have gone through a metamorphosis and will return as 'signature hot chocolates'. which again means more work for the baristas with no added labor to the schedule.
seriously, howard needs to work an hour in my store - or any store - so he can see the reality of what is going on in bux. sending us memos and dvds with 'inspirational' tripe which supposedly reiterate his passion for coffee is NOT cutting it with us baristas. we don't believe it anymore. his actions do not match his words.
but maybe it's just me. maybe i just need to find bux redemption in the bottom of an oatmeal cup.
barista rant: are you blind, or just passive aggressive? first you literally PUSHED me out of your way while i was cleaning up the condiment bar. excuse me for assuming you'd like to prepare your coffee at a clean spot. then you rolled your eyes because i was restocking the napkins. seriously - it took me all of 5 seconds to fill the napkin dispenser, so why the attitude? and then, after i'd cleaned and stocked, you decided that spilling nonfat milk all over the counter was apparently justified. not only that, you grabbed a napkin to wrap around your cup, yet left that nasty spill in plain sight. it took all my control to keep from calling you a cow to your face.
7.30.2008
the steve urkel of starbucks
blogger hates me....it really does. it ate yesterday's post so i'll have to start anew.
for the past few months my schedule has been very consistent at bux. this means i normally see the same customers each week and work with the same baristas. occasionally, however, i'll work with a barista that i barely know.
for months i've been hearing complaints about the latest transfer to our store. she was hired (i believe) because she wouldn't need to be trained like a newbie, but on day one it was apparent to everyone that she knew next to nothing about making drinks. she also is compulsively late to her shifts, with each "reason" being more fantastic than the previous one.
"my power went out!" was the excuse she gave for her first bout of tardiness.
"the police blocked off my street and i couldn't leave until they searched my car!" was what we were told the next week.
then the stories got more elaborate:
"my dog was throwing up all night and i had to take him to the emergency hospital. in fact, he might die, i'm not sure, but i'm supposed to make sure he gets his medication every three hours, so can i leave early?"
"oh my god! i accidentally switched phones with my sister and when i set the alarm i didn't realize it was on pm and not on am. that's also why i didn't answer when you called me!"
"my car broke down and the taxi service says they won't come pick me up because i only have a credit card and their only available taxis are cash only. and the bus that comes near my house just changed the schedule so i won't be able to get there for at least another couple hours!"
but her tardiness is not the only reason for complaints. she's loud, annoying, just stands in front of the register, gets in the way of those actually working, and tries to become your new bff within the first five minutes of meeting you. if you correct her, or ask her to do something she squeals "my bad! i'll do better next time!" only to continue in her usual habit of laziness.
so, when i found out i'd be working several hours with her this past weekend, i wasn't that enthused. however, i'm used to dealing with lazy baristas, so i figured it really wouldn't be THAT much more work to deal with her.
how. wrong. was. i.
if it were just the fact that i had to tell her what to do every five minutes, it wouldn't have been that bad - but having to listen to her run her mouth non-stop was really draining. whether she was chatting with the customers, or trying to talk to us baristas, it was physically exhausting to just be around her while she had the mouth runs. and it wasn't that she was just talking to hear herself talk - she definitely wanted an audience who would give her feedback and input.
i'm sorry, but i'm just not that patient and/or compassionate to deal with the issues of someone i hardly know, and really don't like.
"good god, is this what you have to deal with everyday?" i asked superlead after our new annoying partner had left for the day.
"actually, she was tolerable today. usually it's much, much worse."
"maybe it's just because she's young that she's so immature." i tried to reason.
"uh, she's not that young." superlead gave me a look. "she's in her thirties."
"you're friggen' kidding me." i couldn't believe superlead was telling the truth.
"seriously, she's way old enough to know that her behaviour is NOT how you influence people and gain friends."
which brought me to a strange sort of quandary. on the one hand i feel bad for her. socially she is totally inept. it's clear she wants to be liked, and not feel like an outsider, but she is going about it in a way that only alienates her more. which leads to the other hand - she has been on this planet long enough to know that her method of social interaction clearly does NOT work. that forcing herself onto other people is NOT the way you make new friends. and that being lazy and making up dumb excuses certainly isn't going to make her any more popular.
so, i guess i'm just counting myself lucky that i don't have to work with her all that often, and when i do i guess i'll just try to deal. like always.
barista rant: i'm sick of you scammers trying to get things for free, and then threatening my job because i won't comply! so what, you spent thirty dollars on a gift card last week. so what, you claim my manager gave you a free drink because you threw thirty bucks down for that gift card. firstly, i don't believe he gave you a free drink. secondly, no matter how much you bitch, you're not getting a free drink for buying another card. thirdly, i don't care if you call my manager to complain about me and try to get me fired. we don't give away free drinks when you buy a gift card! if you really got a free drink last time, consider yourself lucky and don't threaten to get me in trouble because i'm doing my job!!!
for the past few months my schedule has been very consistent at bux. this means i normally see the same customers each week and work with the same baristas. occasionally, however, i'll work with a barista that i barely know.
for months i've been hearing complaints about the latest transfer to our store. she was hired (i believe) because she wouldn't need to be trained like a newbie, but on day one it was apparent to everyone that she knew next to nothing about making drinks. she also is compulsively late to her shifts, with each "reason" being more fantastic than the previous one.
"my power went out!" was the excuse she gave for her first bout of tardiness.
"the police blocked off my street and i couldn't leave until they searched my car!" was what we were told the next week.
then the stories got more elaborate:
"my dog was throwing up all night and i had to take him to the emergency hospital. in fact, he might die, i'm not sure, but i'm supposed to make sure he gets his medication every three hours, so can i leave early?"
"oh my god! i accidentally switched phones with my sister and when i set the alarm i didn't realize it was on pm and not on am. that's also why i didn't answer when you called me!"
"my car broke down and the taxi service says they won't come pick me up because i only have a credit card and their only available taxis are cash only. and the bus that comes near my house just changed the schedule so i won't be able to get there for at least another couple hours!"
but her tardiness is not the only reason for complaints. she's loud, annoying, just stands in front of the register, gets in the way of those actually working, and tries to become your new bff within the first five minutes of meeting you. if you correct her, or ask her to do something she squeals "my bad! i'll do better next time!" only to continue in her usual habit of laziness.
so, when i found out i'd be working several hours with her this past weekend, i wasn't that enthused. however, i'm used to dealing with lazy baristas, so i figured it really wouldn't be THAT much more work to deal with her.
how. wrong. was. i.
if it were just the fact that i had to tell her what to do every five minutes, it wouldn't have been that bad - but having to listen to her run her mouth non-stop was really draining. whether she was chatting with the customers, or trying to talk to us baristas, it was physically exhausting to just be around her while she had the mouth runs. and it wasn't that she was just talking to hear herself talk - she definitely wanted an audience who would give her feedback and input.
i'm sorry, but i'm just not that patient and/or compassionate to deal with the issues of someone i hardly know, and really don't like.
"good god, is this what you have to deal with everyday?" i asked superlead after our new annoying partner had left for the day.
"actually, she was tolerable today. usually it's much, much worse."
"maybe it's just because she's young that she's so immature." i tried to reason.
"uh, she's not that young." superlead gave me a look. "she's in her thirties."
"you're friggen' kidding me." i couldn't believe superlead was telling the truth.
"seriously, she's way old enough to know that her behaviour is NOT how you influence people and gain friends."
which brought me to a strange sort of quandary. on the one hand i feel bad for her. socially she is totally inept. it's clear she wants to be liked, and not feel like an outsider, but she is going about it in a way that only alienates her more. which leads to the other hand - she has been on this planet long enough to know that her method of social interaction clearly does NOT work. that forcing herself onto other people is NOT the way you make new friends. and that being lazy and making up dumb excuses certainly isn't going to make her any more popular.
so, i guess i'm just counting myself lucky that i don't have to work with her all that often, and when i do i guess i'll just try to deal. like always.
barista rant: i'm sick of you scammers trying to get things for free, and then threatening my job because i won't comply! so what, you spent thirty dollars on a gift card last week. so what, you claim my manager gave you a free drink because you threw thirty bucks down for that gift card. firstly, i don't believe he gave you a free drink. secondly, no matter how much you bitch, you're not getting a free drink for buying another card. thirdly, i don't care if you call my manager to complain about me and try to get me fired. we don't give away free drinks when you buy a gift card! if you really got a free drink last time, consider yourself lucky and don't threaten to get me in trouble because i'm doing my job!!!
7.10.2008
customer comeuppance
for the most part my bux has some really great customers. of course, we get our share of caffeine addicts that believe our only mission in life to serve them in a manner suited for ramses the great. no matter how accommodating we baristas try to be, these customers are dead set on being annoyed by everything we do (and do correctly, i might add).
i've been in my green apron long enough to know that these people are just outright jerks and nothing i do will make them happy. the poor newbies, however, who are blindsided by these vicious customers are usually rendered useless for a few minutes and have to compose themselves in the backroom until they are 'strong' enough to continue making drinks and ringing customers. it really is trial by fire, and unfortunately we can't always tell which customers will be the pains and which will be the angels.
in the past week we've had a couple gems to deal with. and yes, the poor newbies did take the brunt of the abuse, but at least there was some sweet justice that followed:
- on a busy friday morning one of our newbies was having a very difficult time with a picky customer. this customer wanted a "perfect pastry" from the case and made the newbie offer each pastry up for inspection.
"that one is too small!" she'd complain. "that one isn't square enough!", "that one doesn't look flavorful enough!". i swear, i thought she was auditioning for the role of friggen' goldilocks. finally when she 'settled' for a less than perfect pastry, she repeated an equally annoying process when ordering her drink. not only did she give newbie very specific instructions to write on the cup, but she micromanaged every single letter he wrote and demanded to inspect the cup after he'd marked it.
"what the hell is this?!?" she asked, upset that newbie wrote "3=" in the custom box instead of "3 equals" and made him rewrite the whole damn order on a new cup.
while waiting for her drink, she accused newbie of giving her the wrong pastry, and demanded deafeningly he change it for a better one. by the time her drink was ready, newbie was on the verge of a breakdown. after arguing with another person at the condiment bar, picky customer finally left our bux. upon exiting the store, she tripped over her own feet and dropped her perfectly marked drink as she tried to catch the pastry she'd flung through the air. the pastry landed in a puddle of water, and her drink spilled all over the sidewalk.
"FUCK IT!" she screamed and got in her car and drove away.
- my bux parking lot is very cramped and busy. now, i'm not a road rage sort of person, but i do expect other people to obey traffic rules. even though i had the right of way, a bitch in a white bmw decided the red octagon with the white letters that spelled out "STOP" was not intended for her. she gunned her motor and pulled directly in front of me, cutting me off and gesticulating wildly the whole time. i could only laugh because of how ridiculously she was behaving.
as she waited to pull into a spot directly in front of my store i managed to squeeze my car past hers, park in a vacant spot only ten feet away, and enter my store before she'd had a chance to complete her parking job.
because of her actions in the parking lot i was not surprised to see her stomp into my bux, huff about the loooong line (seriously, there were only two people ahead of her), and then demand her drink be made quickly because she was in such a hurry. now, i could have been a horrid barista and made her a disgusting drink, but i decided it would be much more poetic if i had a newbie make her drink instead - since i was sure it would take newbie twice as long. of course, the bitch with the bmw was quite vocal about having to wait, and i just smiled sweetly and explained that we had a new partner training on the bar. then bitch with the bmw got a call on her cell phone and went outside for ten minutes, while her drink sat on the hand-off counter.
when she came back into the store, she complained that the drink was too cool and wanted it made again because she comes in "all the time!" (and no - none of us baristas had ever seen her before). so of course i let newbie make her drink for the second time. surprise, surprise, bitch in the bmw wasn't happy with drink #2 either. so it was made a third time (still not by me, of course) and she still wasn't happy with it, but since we'd "wasted so much of her time" she took it anyway and angrily drove off.
awww, sweet schadenfreude!
partner rant: ok. i understand that part of my job requires me to 'talk up' new beverages and products we sell. and i know another part of my job requires me to participate in store meetings where we learn and discuss these new products. but when we baristas (rightfully) voice our concerns and doubts about our new fruit blended drinks, we should not be berated, nor blamed for the past failures of the bigwigs in seattle. telling us the reason breakfast sandwiches and chantico drinks went bust was because we baristas were not "solidly behind the product" is a bunch of bull. no matter how much we may try to convince our customers to try something new (or even lie to them and tell them how much we love it) will NOT ensure that customers will go ga-ga over a mcmuffin ripoff or a small cup of melted chocolate. in fact, give us baristas credit for the fact we all successfully predicted how terribly those new products would be received instead of using us as the scapegoat for how poorly our company is doing at present.
i've been in my green apron long enough to know that these people are just outright jerks and nothing i do will make them happy. the poor newbies, however, who are blindsided by these vicious customers are usually rendered useless for a few minutes and have to compose themselves in the backroom until they are 'strong' enough to continue making drinks and ringing customers. it really is trial by fire, and unfortunately we can't always tell which customers will be the pains and which will be the angels.
in the past week we've had a couple gems to deal with. and yes, the poor newbies did take the brunt of the abuse, but at least there was some sweet justice that followed:
- on a busy friday morning one of our newbies was having a very difficult time with a picky customer. this customer wanted a "perfect pastry" from the case and made the newbie offer each pastry up for inspection.
"that one is too small!" she'd complain. "that one isn't square enough!", "that one doesn't look flavorful enough!". i swear, i thought she was auditioning for the role of friggen' goldilocks. finally when she 'settled' for a less than perfect pastry, she repeated an equally annoying process when ordering her drink. not only did she give newbie very specific instructions to write on the cup, but she micromanaged every single letter he wrote and demanded to inspect the cup after he'd marked it.
"what the hell is this?!?" she asked, upset that newbie wrote "3=" in the custom box instead of "3 equals" and made him rewrite the whole damn order on a new cup.
while waiting for her drink, she accused newbie of giving her the wrong pastry, and demanded deafeningly he change it for a better one. by the time her drink was ready, newbie was on the verge of a breakdown. after arguing with another person at the condiment bar, picky customer finally left our bux. upon exiting the store, she tripped over her own feet and dropped her perfectly marked drink as she tried to catch the pastry she'd flung through the air. the pastry landed in a puddle of water, and her drink spilled all over the sidewalk.
"FUCK IT!" she screamed and got in her car and drove away.
- my bux parking lot is very cramped and busy. now, i'm not a road rage sort of person, but i do expect other people to obey traffic rules. even though i had the right of way, a bitch in a white bmw decided the red octagon with the white letters that spelled out "STOP" was not intended for her. she gunned her motor and pulled directly in front of me, cutting me off and gesticulating wildly the whole time. i could only laugh because of how ridiculously she was behaving.
as she waited to pull into a spot directly in front of my store i managed to squeeze my car past hers, park in a vacant spot only ten feet away, and enter my store before she'd had a chance to complete her parking job.
because of her actions in the parking lot i was not surprised to see her stomp into my bux, huff about the loooong line (seriously, there were only two people ahead of her), and then demand her drink be made quickly because she was in such a hurry. now, i could have been a horrid barista and made her a disgusting drink, but i decided it would be much more poetic if i had a newbie make her drink instead - since i was sure it would take newbie twice as long. of course, the bitch with the bmw was quite vocal about having to wait, and i just smiled sweetly and explained that we had a new partner training on the bar. then bitch with the bmw got a call on her cell phone and went outside for ten minutes, while her drink sat on the hand-off counter.
when she came back into the store, she complained that the drink was too cool and wanted it made again because she comes in "all the time!" (and no - none of us baristas had ever seen her before). so of course i let newbie make her drink for the second time. surprise, surprise, bitch in the bmw wasn't happy with drink #2 either. so it was made a third time (still not by me, of course) and she still wasn't happy with it, but since we'd "wasted so much of her time" she took it anyway and angrily drove off.
awww, sweet schadenfreude!
partner rant: ok. i understand that part of my job requires me to 'talk up' new beverages and products we sell. and i know another part of my job requires me to participate in store meetings where we learn and discuss these new products. but when we baristas (rightfully) voice our concerns and doubts about our new fruit blended drinks, we should not be berated, nor blamed for the past failures of the bigwigs in seattle. telling us the reason breakfast sandwiches and chantico drinks went bust was because we baristas were not "solidly behind the product" is a bunch of bull. no matter how much we may try to convince our customers to try something new (or even lie to them and tell them how much we love it) will NOT ensure that customers will go ga-ga over a mcmuffin ripoff or a small cup of melted chocolate. in fact, give us baristas credit for the fact we all successfully predicted how terribly those new products would be received instead of using us as the scapegoat for how poorly our company is doing at present.
7.03.2008
the brat lives!
not sure if anyone is still checking up on this blog since i've been away for months.
i have some very good reasons for being absent, and some very bad ones.
honestly, i've been frustrated with the whole bux environment and haven't really wanted to blog about it. this blog, after all, is called 'barista brat' and not 'barista bitch'. i felt all my posts were becoming quite bitter and angry, and although this is where i come to vent - i didn't think it appropriate to spew just for the sake of spewing.
so....i'm back.
not quite as cheerful as i used to be, and still very bitter, but i will make a concerted effort to entertain and not just emote.
i'm sure many of you saw the reports that bux will be closing 600 stores nationwide.
as of now, my store is not on the short list to be shut down. in fact, i don't think any of the stores in my district will be affected, so it will be business as usual for the brat.
am i surprised by the news that bux is doing so poorly that they will have to shut down 600 stores?
uh, i have a two-word response: breakfast sandwiches.
ok, ok, i know the stupid ovens and sandwiches were not the sole reason for our stock plummeting and our sales dropping. but honestly, when bux focuses on products that are NOT coffee related, the stores suffer. it's true.
now we are hit with the news that some stores will be serving sorbetto beverages (and yes, that means they will have yet another huge, annoying machine to deal with) and all stores will have new 'nutritional fruit blended beverages' on the menu.
really?!?
are there not enough jamba juices, robeks and booster juices on the planet for people to get their smoothie fix? does howard schultz really think offering a smoothie to a frappuccino drinker is going to bring our stock up? does he think people will forgo the long lines at jamba to stand in a long line at bux just for a 16 oz smoothie that contains a banana and some protein?
honestly, i was hopeful when it seemed bux was putting the focus back on coffee. but i think superlead was right when she said she believed it was more of a publicity stunt than an actual commitment to serving the best coffee all the time. we baristas are not feeling 'backed up' by the bigwigs in seattle. this company has changed since i was a newbie barista, and i know that change is to be expected. but to be perfectly honest: bux was a much better employer 'back in the day'. i still hang on to the hope that howard can pull it all back together, but so far i've not been impressed with his decisions.
barista rant: baristas and managers are not perfect, nor are we clairvoyant. we did not expect the insane heatwave, and yes we were caught unprepared. i'm so sorry that we did not have enough flat lids for your iced drinks. i'm sorry you were so inconvenienced with looking at a dome lid sitting atop your iced coffee. did you not notice that every other customer ALSO had a dome lid? so why, after seeing the ten people ahead of you walk away with dome lids on their drinks, did you walk up to the bar and ask me for a flat lid? uh, HELLO?!? did you honestly think i was saving them for the special people who knew how to ask for them? did you think somehow i would manage to pull one out from my apron just for you? use your brain! or is that dome empty too?
i have some very good reasons for being absent, and some very bad ones.
honestly, i've been frustrated with the whole bux environment and haven't really wanted to blog about it. this blog, after all, is called 'barista brat' and not 'barista bitch'. i felt all my posts were becoming quite bitter and angry, and although this is where i come to vent - i didn't think it appropriate to spew just for the sake of spewing.
so....i'm back.
not quite as cheerful as i used to be, and still very bitter, but i will make a concerted effort to entertain and not just emote.
i'm sure many of you saw the reports that bux will be closing 600 stores nationwide.
as of now, my store is not on the short list to be shut down. in fact, i don't think any of the stores in my district will be affected, so it will be business as usual for the brat.
am i surprised by the news that bux is doing so poorly that they will have to shut down 600 stores?
uh, i have a two-word response: breakfast sandwiches.
ok, ok, i know the stupid ovens and sandwiches were not the sole reason for our stock plummeting and our sales dropping. but honestly, when bux focuses on products that are NOT coffee related, the stores suffer. it's true.
now we are hit with the news that some stores will be serving sorbetto beverages (and yes, that means they will have yet another huge, annoying machine to deal with) and all stores will have new 'nutritional fruit blended beverages' on the menu.
really?!?
are there not enough jamba juices, robeks and booster juices on the planet for people to get their smoothie fix? does howard schultz really think offering a smoothie to a frappuccino drinker is going to bring our stock up? does he think people will forgo the long lines at jamba to stand in a long line at bux just for a 16 oz smoothie that contains a banana and some protein?
honestly, i was hopeful when it seemed bux was putting the focus back on coffee. but i think superlead was right when she said she believed it was more of a publicity stunt than an actual commitment to serving the best coffee all the time. we baristas are not feeling 'backed up' by the bigwigs in seattle. this company has changed since i was a newbie barista, and i know that change is to be expected. but to be perfectly honest: bux was a much better employer 'back in the day'. i still hang on to the hope that howard can pull it all back together, but so far i've not been impressed with his decisions.
barista rant: baristas and managers are not perfect, nor are we clairvoyant. we did not expect the insane heatwave, and yes we were caught unprepared. i'm so sorry that we did not have enough flat lids for your iced drinks. i'm sorry you were so inconvenienced with looking at a dome lid sitting atop your iced coffee. did you not notice that every other customer ALSO had a dome lid? so why, after seeing the ten people ahead of you walk away with dome lids on their drinks, did you walk up to the bar and ask me for a flat lid? uh, HELLO?!? did you honestly think i was saving them for the special people who knew how to ask for them? did you think somehow i would manage to pull one out from my apron just for you? use your brain! or is that dome empty too?
3.05.2008
beware the gripes of march
ok - so when superlead tells me to get off my ass and start posting, i know i'm in trouble.
as i'm sure most of you know, we baristas all got "re-trained" last tuesday.
was it worth it to close the stores early for this training?
mmm...maybe.
for the baristas who already do their job the way they're supposed to, it was a waste of an evening. for the baristas who cut corners, don't pay attention to detail, or know how to aerate foam properly, it was a good way to make it clear that they need to change their ways.
in a way it was nice to hear that howard wants us to go back to quality - that we shouldn't feel pressured to hand off a crappy drink in record time.
"the customer would rather wait a few more minutes for a drink that tastes good, rather than instantly get a drink that tastes bad." said our trainers. "if you mess up a drink, go ahead and remake it - it's better to hand out a drink that tastes of quality."
"so, does that mean it doesn't count against us if it takes longer than three minutes for the customer to get their drink after walking through the front door?" superlead asked.
"no." our trainers told us. "the three-minute rule is still in place."
uh, yeah.
BUT on a totally different note, i must take some time to tell you about doobie newbie.
as you may recall, doobie was a very difficult newbie.
totally baked in the beginning, it seemed like he would never get the hang of being a barista. not only was he super sssslllllooooooowwwww, but he couldn't remember drink recipes, how to ring up customers, or even how to change the trash.
week after week we expected to see him quit or be fired.
week after week he hung on.
and now months later i am so happy to say that doobie newbie is now a GOOD barista.
sure, he's not super fast, and he still has some doobie moments, but he is a completely different person now than he was when he started.
and it certainly wasn't an overnight change.
it was very gradual. one week he could actually remember how many pumps to put into a grande vanilla latte. a few weeks later he was no longer making mistakes when marking cups, etc. finally, the time came when no one was complaining about him anymore, a time when i wouldn't cringe when i saw he was working the same shift as i was.
i made sure to tell doobie how proud i was of him, and how glad i was that he was fully in the barista groove. it's now a pleasure to work with him, and he always puts in 110% when he works with me.
yay for doobie!
and now i must start my very long barista/partner rant:
the other day there were only two baristas on the floor (i happened to be the barista on register that day). it was one of those 'machine gun burst' afternoons, when four or five customers would come in at a time. after one of our mini rushes (in which we ended up with a line of 6 frappuccinos as well as bar drinks) another group of four customers entered our store.
"i want an venti decaf americano." an older woman told me, then paid for her drink. after that a man ordered a hazelnut latte, a woman ordered an iced tea and her friend ordered an iced coffee.
the barista at bar was still working on the frappuccinos, even as i was taking the last order. when he handed off the final two frappuccinos, the older woman threw her hands up in the air and hissed at my fellow barista "where is MY drink? i ordered waaaaay before that man and he has BOTH of his drinks!".
"i'm sorry ma'am, but there was a line of drinks ahead of yours. i'm starting on the americano now." he politely informed her.
meanwhile, since i had no customers to ring up, i made the iced tea and iced coffee drink while my fellow barista waited for the decaf shots to pull for the bitter woman's americano.
now, i would have waited to hand off the iced tea and iced coffee since it was clear the bitter old woman was already in a tiff, but fellow barista went ahead and called out those drinks while the last of the decaf shots were pulled.
"I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!" the bitter lady shouted. "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! EVERYONE IS GETTING THEIR DRINKS BEFORE ME!"
"ma'am, you're drink takes longer to make than those other two. i've been working on your drink this whole time." the barista calmly explained, but she wasn't having any of it.
"get me your manager!" she hissed at me, apparently sick of dealing with the barista at bar.
i went to the back room to get mr. split and quickly explained the situation: that the woman was mistaken in thinking the frappuccinos were ordered after her and that the other two drinks were not espresso based drinks.
soooooo -
the bitter lady gets on her soapbox and just starts spewing anything starbucks related that comes to mind.
"you're supposed to be focused on customers, but this is the WORST customer service i have ever received! i've been a loyal customer for years - i'm even a SHAREHOLDER, but i will be selling my stocks soon because it's clear that this company is going down the tubes!"
mr. split patiently listened to her go off before he apologized and offered her a beverage certificate. he also attempted to explain that there were indeed drinks in queue before hers, but she wasn't about to listen to reason. she started AGAIN about the stocks, and horrible customer service, yadda yadda.
so then mr. split offers to refund her drink, AS WELL AS giving her a free drink coupon.
this is the part that really upsets me.
starbucks is so "focused" on making the customer happy, that they basically let stupid customers get away with anything. what is so frustrating is that this woman TRULY thinks she was wronged! not only that - she ends up with two free drinks!
baristas are powerless in situations like these. this bitter old woman is going to call up corporate, believing her drink was left behind (because policy says to let the customer complain, and then do WHATEVER we can to make them happy), corporate will come down on us and our district manager will have to have a special meeting with all parties involved so that we know what we did wrong and how we should avoid it in the future.
if we actually try to explain our part of the situation, we are labelled "defensive" and "argumentative" and can possibly get a write up for it.
i know how important customer service is, but it is also important to back up your baristas.
as i'm sure most of you know, we baristas all got "re-trained" last tuesday.
was it worth it to close the stores early for this training?
mmm...maybe.
for the baristas who already do their job the way they're supposed to, it was a waste of an evening. for the baristas who cut corners, don't pay attention to detail, or know how to aerate foam properly, it was a good way to make it clear that they need to change their ways.
in a way it was nice to hear that howard wants us to go back to quality - that we shouldn't feel pressured to hand off a crappy drink in record time.
"the customer would rather wait a few more minutes for a drink that tastes good, rather than instantly get a drink that tastes bad." said our trainers. "if you mess up a drink, go ahead and remake it - it's better to hand out a drink that tastes of quality."
"so, does that mean it doesn't count against us if it takes longer than three minutes for the customer to get their drink after walking through the front door?" superlead asked.
"no." our trainers told us. "the three-minute rule is still in place."
uh, yeah.
BUT on a totally different note, i must take some time to tell you about doobie newbie.
as you may recall, doobie was a very difficult newbie.
totally baked in the beginning, it seemed like he would never get the hang of being a barista. not only was he super sssslllllooooooowwwww, but he couldn't remember drink recipes, how to ring up customers, or even how to change the trash.
week after week we expected to see him quit or be fired.
week after week he hung on.
and now months later i am so happy to say that doobie newbie is now a GOOD barista.
sure, he's not super fast, and he still has some doobie moments, but he is a completely different person now than he was when he started.
and it certainly wasn't an overnight change.
it was very gradual. one week he could actually remember how many pumps to put into a grande vanilla latte. a few weeks later he was no longer making mistakes when marking cups, etc. finally, the time came when no one was complaining about him anymore, a time when i wouldn't cringe when i saw he was working the same shift as i was.
i made sure to tell doobie how proud i was of him, and how glad i was that he was fully in the barista groove. it's now a pleasure to work with him, and he always puts in 110% when he works with me.
yay for doobie!
and now i must start my very long barista/partner rant:
the other day there were only two baristas on the floor (i happened to be the barista on register that day). it was one of those 'machine gun burst' afternoons, when four or five customers would come in at a time. after one of our mini rushes (in which we ended up with a line of 6 frappuccinos as well as bar drinks) another group of four customers entered our store.
"i want an venti decaf americano." an older woman told me, then paid for her drink. after that a man ordered a hazelnut latte, a woman ordered an iced tea and her friend ordered an iced coffee.
the barista at bar was still working on the frappuccinos, even as i was taking the last order. when he handed off the final two frappuccinos, the older woman threw her hands up in the air and hissed at my fellow barista "where is MY drink? i ordered waaaaay before that man and he has BOTH of his drinks!".
"i'm sorry ma'am, but there was a line of drinks ahead of yours. i'm starting on the americano now." he politely informed her.
meanwhile, since i had no customers to ring up, i made the iced tea and iced coffee drink while my fellow barista waited for the decaf shots to pull for the bitter woman's americano.
now, i would have waited to hand off the iced tea and iced coffee since it was clear the bitter old woman was already in a tiff, but fellow barista went ahead and called out those drinks while the last of the decaf shots were pulled.
"I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!" the bitter lady shouted. "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! EVERYONE IS GETTING THEIR DRINKS BEFORE ME!"
"ma'am, you're drink takes longer to make than those other two. i've been working on your drink this whole time." the barista calmly explained, but she wasn't having any of it.
"get me your manager!" she hissed at me, apparently sick of dealing with the barista at bar.
i went to the back room to get mr. split and quickly explained the situation: that the woman was mistaken in thinking the frappuccinos were ordered after her and that the other two drinks were not espresso based drinks.
soooooo -
the bitter lady gets on her soapbox and just starts spewing anything starbucks related that comes to mind.
"you're supposed to be focused on customers, but this is the WORST customer service i have ever received! i've been a loyal customer for years - i'm even a SHAREHOLDER, but i will be selling my stocks soon because it's clear that this company is going down the tubes!"
mr. split patiently listened to her go off before he apologized and offered her a beverage certificate. he also attempted to explain that there were indeed drinks in queue before hers, but she wasn't about to listen to reason. she started AGAIN about the stocks, and horrible customer service, yadda yadda.
so then mr. split offers to refund her drink, AS WELL AS giving her a free drink coupon.
this is the part that really upsets me.
starbucks is so "focused" on making the customer happy, that they basically let stupid customers get away with anything. what is so frustrating is that this woman TRULY thinks she was wronged! not only that - she ends up with two free drinks!
baristas are powerless in situations like these. this bitter old woman is going to call up corporate, believing her drink was left behind (because policy says to let the customer complain, and then do WHATEVER we can to make them happy), corporate will come down on us and our district manager will have to have a special meeting with all parties involved so that we know what we did wrong and how we should avoid it in the future.
if we actually try to explain our part of the situation, we are labelled "defensive" and "argumentative" and can possibly get a write up for it.
i know how important customer service is, but it is also important to back up your baristas.
1.24.2008
perpetual grind
wow.
i can't believe it's been almost a month since i last posted. i can assure you its not because things have been dull and boring, that's for certain.
let me start with the biggest news of all - howard schultz has again taken control of our company. this news has made several partners and share holders ecstatic. in fact, when the news broke my store was abuzz with hopeful chatter of rising stocks and disappearing ovens.
so, has this rotation of power actually changed anything?
well, not yet.
BUT the company IS going to finally do something about the ovens!
well, not exactly to do with the ovens but their horrendous output of stink.
bux, in all it's infinite wisdom, has decided that customers and partners have a valid complaint! in fact, bux apparently wholeheartedly agrees that burnt cheese and pre-cooked eggs are no substitute for the olfactory heaven that is brewed coffee.
so, to combat the stench of the ovens, baristas will no longer be opening pre-packs of ground coffee to brew. oh no. we will now have to grind pounds upon pounds of beans for our daily brew.
pounds upon POUNDS!
now, a pre-packed case of ground coffee comes in units of 28. my store goes through at least two cases a day. that's 56 packs. 56.
a full batch of coffee that we grind weighs .56 pounds (wow, what a strange coincidence!)
so, let's do the math. 56 packs multiplied by .56 pounds equals 31.36 pounds.
did you read that?!?!?
we have to grind a minimum of thirty-one pounds of beans a day! not only will it take an insane amount of labor to grind these beans, we also have to portion each batch out!
guess how many extra hours bux has given us for this huge daily task?
0.
zero.
zilch.
somehow, some way, we are going to have to squeeze the extra labor from our milk-stained aprons.
now, for those of you who have been loyal bux customers for more than ten years, you might be saying to yourself: "what the hell is brat complaining about?!? i remember the baristas used to ALWAYS grind the coffee themselves!"
and i will respond with this: "but those baristas back in the day didn't have sandwiches (warmed or pre-packed), dozens of frappuccino combinations, extra machines to clean (more than one bar, the frappuccino dispenser, and two ovens), an insane amount of syrups, and friggen' shaken ice teas!!!!"
the modern bux barista has more duties, more customers, and less time to accomplish all their tasks. and now, our beloved siren has made sure that there will be no such thing as 'down time'. that there will be no pauses in the customer flow where we can catch up on prepping, cleaning and training.
and for those of you that think "well, i get lattes anyway so my drink won't be affected by this." - think again.
grinding 31 pounds of coffee means one less person on the bar to make your drink.
BUT that's not the only issue you'll encounter!
bux has ALSO decided that our espresso machines don't give off enough of an espresso aroma, so now all our machines will be retooled to pull longer shots. that's right - they are 'fixing' our espresso bars so that they too can combat the horrid stench from the ovens.
that means it will take longer to prepare your drinks. mind you, the whole reason we have these automatic bars is because the manual ones were "not efficient enough".
but bux is only 'fixing' one bar at a time, so if you order two tall lattes, one will taste significantly stronger than the other - meaning ordering your bar drinks is basically a crapshoot. it might be too strong, it might be too weak, but the one thing you can count on is that you'll be waiting longer for your caffeine fix.
all i can say is that these latest corporate "improvements" have made me very happy that my non-barista life has been so very productive and lucrative.
barista rant: if you're going to use 'fancy lingo' to order your drink, then know what the hell it is you're ordering!!! if you ask for a 'skinny vanilla latte' that's what you're going to get. we have posters all around the store explaining what a skinny vanilla latte is. so when we call it out, please don't take a sip and pretend to gag, claiming splenda makes you ill and you specifically did not order sugar-free vanilla. don't then ask for a skinny mocha to be made with regular mocha and percent milk. and don't argue with your barista when he tries to educate you!
i can't believe it's been almost a month since i last posted. i can assure you its not because things have been dull and boring, that's for certain.
let me start with the biggest news of all - howard schultz has again taken control of our company. this news has made several partners and share holders ecstatic. in fact, when the news broke my store was abuzz with hopeful chatter of rising stocks and disappearing ovens.
so, has this rotation of power actually changed anything?
well, not yet.
BUT the company IS going to finally do something about the ovens!
well, not exactly to do with the ovens but their horrendous output of stink.
bux, in all it's infinite wisdom, has decided that customers and partners have a valid complaint! in fact, bux apparently wholeheartedly agrees that burnt cheese and pre-cooked eggs are no substitute for the olfactory heaven that is brewed coffee.
so, to combat the stench of the ovens, baristas will no longer be opening pre-packs of ground coffee to brew. oh no. we will now have to grind pounds upon pounds of beans for our daily brew.
pounds upon POUNDS!
now, a pre-packed case of ground coffee comes in units of 28. my store goes through at least two cases a day. that's 56 packs. 56.
a full batch of coffee that we grind weighs .56 pounds (wow, what a strange coincidence!)
so, let's do the math. 56 packs multiplied by .56 pounds equals 31.36 pounds.
did you read that?!?!?
we have to grind a minimum of thirty-one pounds of beans a day! not only will it take an insane amount of labor to grind these beans, we also have to portion each batch out!
guess how many extra hours bux has given us for this huge daily task?
0.
zero.
zilch.
somehow, some way, we are going to have to squeeze the extra labor from our milk-stained aprons.
now, for those of you who have been loyal bux customers for more than ten years, you might be saying to yourself: "what the hell is brat complaining about?!? i remember the baristas used to ALWAYS grind the coffee themselves!"
and i will respond with this: "but those baristas back in the day didn't have sandwiches (warmed or pre-packed), dozens of frappuccino combinations, extra machines to clean (more than one bar, the frappuccino dispenser, and two ovens), an insane amount of syrups, and friggen' shaken ice teas!!!!"
the modern bux barista has more duties, more customers, and less time to accomplish all their tasks. and now, our beloved siren has made sure that there will be no such thing as 'down time'. that there will be no pauses in the customer flow where we can catch up on prepping, cleaning and training.
and for those of you that think "well, i get lattes anyway so my drink won't be affected by this." - think again.
grinding 31 pounds of coffee means one less person on the bar to make your drink.
BUT that's not the only issue you'll encounter!
bux has ALSO decided that our espresso machines don't give off enough of an espresso aroma, so now all our machines will be retooled to pull longer shots. that's right - they are 'fixing' our espresso bars so that they too can combat the horrid stench from the ovens.
that means it will take longer to prepare your drinks. mind you, the whole reason we have these automatic bars is because the manual ones were "not efficient enough".
but bux is only 'fixing' one bar at a time, so if you order two tall lattes, one will taste significantly stronger than the other - meaning ordering your bar drinks is basically a crapshoot. it might be too strong, it might be too weak, but the one thing you can count on is that you'll be waiting longer for your caffeine fix.
all i can say is that these latest corporate "improvements" have made me very happy that my non-barista life has been so very productive and lucrative.
barista rant: if you're going to use 'fancy lingo' to order your drink, then know what the hell it is you're ordering!!! if you ask for a 'skinny vanilla latte' that's what you're going to get. we have posters all around the store explaining what a skinny vanilla latte is. so when we call it out, please don't take a sip and pretend to gag, claiming splenda makes you ill and you specifically did not order sugar-free vanilla. don't then ask for a skinny mocha to be made with regular mocha and percent milk. and don't argue with your barista when he tries to educate you!
12.28.2007
fa-la-la-la-blah
first, i hope everyone had a great holiday.
now, on to the griping:
this wasn't a great christmas for my bux. in fact, we barely even noticed it was the holiday season. there were some good things that happened, like barista buddy coming back, and surprise gifts from customers, but all in all my store lacked cheer.
part of it was our district manager who came in often to point out every microscopic flaw my bux had. another part of it was the virus that attacked many of our baristas, causing a lot of shifts to be run short.
but the biggest thorn in our collective side is our newest newbie, crack junior.
now, i'm sure you all remember my rants about mr. 'cracks-under-pressure' newbie who forgot his partner numbers, couldn't remember recipes, and had a non-existent attention span.
well...crack junior is all that and more.
in fact, the first time i saw crack junior i said to superlead "doesn't he remind you of mr. 'cracks-under-pressure'"?
unfortunately the resemblance isn't just physical.
crack junior has been at my bux for weeks and still doesn't know how to make a single drink. he isn't friendly to customers, mis-marks cups, and does not listen at all to anyone. everyday i come to work there are new crack junior stories from my fellow baristas.
"yesterday he knocked over the trash, and instead of cleaning it up he just looked at it like it was a newborn baby."
"i sent him back to do dishes and very plainly told him to ask me where everything went so he wouldn't have to pile it all up on the shelf. i go back to check up on him and sure enough everything is piled up. when i reminded him he was supposed to ask me where to put things, he just looked at me."
"i taught him how to prep the whipped cream containers and made sure he knew to use WHIPPING CREAM and not HALF&HALF. of course, every single one he prepped was made with half&half."
"the lead sent him on a trash run and told crack junior to empty all the trash cans in the lobby. he even pointed out where each and every trash can was. so after crack junior comes back and says he's done, the lead asks him 'you got all the lobby trash?' and crack junior says 'uh, that's the one next to the milk and sugar?' and the lead says 'yeeeeaaaaaahhh, but you were supposed to get ALL the lobby trash - like the ones near the doors and in the bathroom.' crack junior shrugged his shoulders and says 'uh, no. i didn't know i was supposed to get those too'."
everyone has a crack junior story and everyone is at their limit with him.
and even though he is just as useless as his predecessor, there is something different about him that really rubs everyone the wrong way.
a fellow barista brat thinks it's just we have no more patience for such stupidity. that we were ecstatic the other newbie quit, and we now have no tolerance for people who can't catch on.
i think it's a bit more than that.
crack junior doesn't act clueless when he works. he acts like he couldn't care less. in fact, he acts like he's above wearing the green apron.
apparently crack junior is a recent graduate of famous university where he had a very high gpa. and apparently working at bux was the last thing he wanted to do with his life after receiving his diploma.
i'm fine with that.
if you think wearing a green apron lowers your status, then DON'T WEAR THE FRIGGEN' GREEN APRON! go find a job that fits your self-worth and be good at it, instead of 'settling' for bux and making your co-workers lives harder because they have to pick up your slack.
this weekend i have two shifts with crack junior.
wish me luck.
customer rant: don't lie to customers about drink recipes. just don't. when i order a chai latte, i expect a chai latte. not a chai latte with an added shot of espresso. when i inform you that there's espresso in my chai, don't lie to me and say, 'oh! i accidentally used the old recipe. the one where we used to put coffee in the chais. they recently changed it, but i'll make you a new one!" believe me, i'll respect you more if you just cop to the fact that you made a mistake, instead of making up a story about drink recipes changing.
now, on to the griping:
this wasn't a great christmas for my bux. in fact, we barely even noticed it was the holiday season. there were some good things that happened, like barista buddy coming back, and surprise gifts from customers, but all in all my store lacked cheer.
part of it was our district manager who came in often to point out every microscopic flaw my bux had. another part of it was the virus that attacked many of our baristas, causing a lot of shifts to be run short.
but the biggest thorn in our collective side is our newest newbie, crack junior.
now, i'm sure you all remember my rants about mr. 'cracks-under-pressure' newbie who forgot his partner numbers, couldn't remember recipes, and had a non-existent attention span.
well...crack junior is all that and more.
in fact, the first time i saw crack junior i said to superlead "doesn't he remind you of mr. 'cracks-under-pressure'"?
unfortunately the resemblance isn't just physical.
crack junior has been at my bux for weeks and still doesn't know how to make a single drink. he isn't friendly to customers, mis-marks cups, and does not listen at all to anyone. everyday i come to work there are new crack junior stories from my fellow baristas.
"yesterday he knocked over the trash, and instead of cleaning it up he just looked at it like it was a newborn baby."
"i sent him back to do dishes and very plainly told him to ask me where everything went so he wouldn't have to pile it all up on the shelf. i go back to check up on him and sure enough everything is piled up. when i reminded him he was supposed to ask me where to put things, he just looked at me."
"i taught him how to prep the whipped cream containers and made sure he knew to use WHIPPING CREAM and not HALF&HALF. of course, every single one he prepped was made with half&half."
"the lead sent him on a trash run and told crack junior to empty all the trash cans in the lobby. he even pointed out where each and every trash can was. so after crack junior comes back and says he's done, the lead asks him 'you got all the lobby trash?' and crack junior says 'uh, that's the one next to the milk and sugar?' and the lead says 'yeeeeaaaaaahhh, but you were supposed to get ALL the lobby trash - like the ones near the doors and in the bathroom.' crack junior shrugged his shoulders and says 'uh, no. i didn't know i was supposed to get those too'."
everyone has a crack junior story and everyone is at their limit with him.
and even though he is just as useless as his predecessor, there is something different about him that really rubs everyone the wrong way.
a fellow barista brat thinks it's just we have no more patience for such stupidity. that we were ecstatic the other newbie quit, and we now have no tolerance for people who can't catch on.
i think it's a bit more than that.
crack junior doesn't act clueless when he works. he acts like he couldn't care less. in fact, he acts like he's above wearing the green apron.
apparently crack junior is a recent graduate of famous university where he had a very high gpa. and apparently working at bux was the last thing he wanted to do with his life after receiving his diploma.
i'm fine with that.
if you think wearing a green apron lowers your status, then DON'T WEAR THE FRIGGEN' GREEN APRON! go find a job that fits your self-worth and be good at it, instead of 'settling' for bux and making your co-workers lives harder because they have to pick up your slack.
this weekend i have two shifts with crack junior.
wish me luck.
customer rant: don't lie to customers about drink recipes. just don't. when i order a chai latte, i expect a chai latte. not a chai latte with an added shot of espresso. when i inform you that there's espresso in my chai, don't lie to me and say, 'oh! i accidentally used the old recipe. the one where we used to put coffee in the chais. they recently changed it, but i'll make you a new one!" believe me, i'll respect you more if you just cop to the fact that you made a mistake, instead of making up a story about drink recipes changing.
12.05.2007
thanksgiving came late
in the past couple weeks there's been a few events at my bux that have made the brat very, very happy:
1. doobie newbie is finally getting the hang of being a barista.
as you well know, it's been a looooooong journey getting doobie newbie on track. constant on the job training didn't work. warnings that his status as a barista was in danger didn't work either. amazingly, the only thing to light a fire under his apron was working with mr. 'cracks under pressure' newbie.
that's right. apparently all doobie newbie needed to get in line was to work with someone who performed just as poorly as he did.
"what is wrong with this guy?" doobie newbie complained to me. "he can't remember anything! he doesn't even know how to make a latte!"
"uh, yeah." i tried to reply evenly. "see how your job becomes twice as hard when you work with someone who can't perform basic barista duties?"
"oh my god." he shook his head, sensing not an ounce of irony. "he so useless! why does he even work here?"
with every shift he shared with mr. 'cracks under pressure', doobie newbie improved exponentially. he's now a completely different barista than he was three weeks ago, and although there's always room for improvement, he's no longer the one guy everyone hates to work with.
2. mr. 'cracks under pressure' finally got a clue.
i'm not sure if it was due to the constant coaching from all his fellow baristas, the constant complaints from customers, or the constant bouts of "forgetfulness" but mr. 'cracks under pressure' finally realized bux was not the place for him. let me tell you, not one barista was sad to hear that he'd put in his two week notice. and i wasn't even upset when he did a no-call/no-show on my shift. as i told my manager - it was easier to work my shift one barista short than to have to spend the night babysitting the newbie. i wish him all the best and hope he finds a job more suitable for him.
3. barista buddy is back!
i had the pleasure and privilege to work with barista buddy when i started at my current bux. he is one of the greatest guys i've ever met, and our store was heartbroken when he was transferred out of our district. well now he's back, and my fellow baristas and i couldn't be happier. customers are also happy to see him back which hopefully means are tips will be better as well.
so now, as we are heavily into the red cup season, i have several reasons to be enthusiastic about my bux. we are finally pulling out of that dreadful downward spiral, and things are definitely looking up. yes, we still have those horrid ovens, and yes some of our customers are certifiable, but at least we exchanged one bad egg for a good one, and a formerly failing barista is now doing his green apron justice.
partner rant: why is there james taylor on our holiday cd?!? last year our cd was filled with christmas, hanukkah and seasonal music. now, just as we get into the holiday mood, non-holiday music pipes through our speakers and makes it feel like it's just an ordinary week at bux. even customers have asked "where's the christmas music?"
1. doobie newbie is finally getting the hang of being a barista.
as you well know, it's been a looooooong journey getting doobie newbie on track. constant on the job training didn't work. warnings that his status as a barista was in danger didn't work either. amazingly, the only thing to light a fire under his apron was working with mr. 'cracks under pressure' newbie.
that's right. apparently all doobie newbie needed to get in line was to work with someone who performed just as poorly as he did.
"what is wrong with this guy?" doobie newbie complained to me. "he can't remember anything! he doesn't even know how to make a latte!"
"uh, yeah." i tried to reply evenly. "see how your job becomes twice as hard when you work with someone who can't perform basic barista duties?"
"oh my god." he shook his head, sensing not an ounce of irony. "he so useless! why does he even work here?"
with every shift he shared with mr. 'cracks under pressure', doobie newbie improved exponentially. he's now a completely different barista than he was three weeks ago, and although there's always room for improvement, he's no longer the one guy everyone hates to work with.
2. mr. 'cracks under pressure' finally got a clue.
i'm not sure if it was due to the constant coaching from all his fellow baristas, the constant complaints from customers, or the constant bouts of "forgetfulness" but mr. 'cracks under pressure' finally realized bux was not the place for him. let me tell you, not one barista was sad to hear that he'd put in his two week notice. and i wasn't even upset when he did a no-call/no-show on my shift. as i told my manager - it was easier to work my shift one barista short than to have to spend the night babysitting the newbie. i wish him all the best and hope he finds a job more suitable for him.
3. barista buddy is back!
i had the pleasure and privilege to work with barista buddy when i started at my current bux. he is one of the greatest guys i've ever met, and our store was heartbroken when he was transferred out of our district. well now he's back, and my fellow baristas and i couldn't be happier. customers are also happy to see him back which hopefully means are tips will be better as well.
so now, as we are heavily into the red cup season, i have several reasons to be enthusiastic about my bux. we are finally pulling out of that dreadful downward spiral, and things are definitely looking up. yes, we still have those horrid ovens, and yes some of our customers are certifiable, but at least we exchanged one bad egg for a good one, and a formerly failing barista is now doing his green apron justice.
partner rant: why is there james taylor on our holiday cd?!? last year our cd was filled with christmas, hanukkah and seasonal music. now, just as we get into the holiday mood, non-holiday music pipes through our speakers and makes it feel like it's just an ordinary week at bux. even customers have asked "where's the christmas music?"
11.09.2007
no lovin' for the oven
i have no idea who came up with the idea. i have no clue as to why a committee approved it. and i'm not quite sure how the guys in seattle could fool themselves into thinking it would be a huge money maker that would push our stocks back up to 35 bux a share.
but whatever the case or cause was, we baristas are now cursed with ovens in our stores.
i'm sure you can well guess our initial protests to the convection ovens: it's yet another machine to clean, another way to make the line move slower, and another item for customers to bitch about. and although i'm sure all these concerns were brought up to corporate, in their infinite wisdom they decided that all company owned stores NEEDED to have ovens on the premises.
now, the ovens were brought forth so that we could serve breakfast sandwiches. and i'm sure someone, somewhere bought a cup of starbucks coffee and wished they didn't have to then travel to mcdonald's for their egg mcmuffin. so for them, the introduction of the ovens was marketing genius. however, there's an equal (if not larger) number of people who were glad that they didn't have to smell the scent of pre-cooked eggs and soggy bacon while they waited for their lattes.
and yes - not only are they annoying to clean (seriously, the aroma of the cleaning spray induces gagging) and increase the wait time for customers, they are also very hazardous to baristas!
everyone in my store has fallen victim to these awful ovens. i have received blisters just from removing pastries from the oven (with the specified long handled tongs, mind you), superlead received a third degree burn from a breakfast sandwich that fought back (yes - the cheese splattered on her as she opened the oven), and other baristas also begrudgingly wear the battle wounds from these 'new money-makers'.
but it's not just the blisters, burns, and added cleaning that frustrate us baristas. it's the customers that want their muffins, danishes and sandwiches warmed to specific temperatures, or want their lattes 'zapped' so that it's a little hotter, or even want the bottom of their coffee cake room temperature, while the top is 'browned' a bit more. and of course we try to educate each customer that we cannot cater to their whims, but still arguments ensue.
my favorite so far:
customer: hi! i'm in here everyday! can you warm my slice of pizza for me?
barista brat: (searching brain for recollection of customer, but there's none) i'm sorry, we can't warm up items from other places. just starbucks food.
customer: but i'm in here everyday! it's just a slice of pizza! can't you zap if for half a minute?
barista brat: no, i'm sorry. it's a health code violation. we are not allowed to put anything in the ovens that isn't from starbucks.
customer: well, just leave the pizza in the box! seriously - i'm here everyday! can't you just do it for me?
barista brat: uh, no. it's a violation, plus the box would catch on fire.
customer: (now wearing a bitch-face) it will NOT catch fire! i KNOW how a MICROWAVE works!
barista brat: it's NOT a MICROWAVE. it's an oven and the answer is still 'no'.
customer: i can't believe you won't do this one little thing for me. i'm here everyday!
partner rant: i know that although our aprons are green, we are far from being a 'green' company. and really, i'm ok with that. what i'm not ok with is the amount of food waste in our stores. why do stores get in trouble for not marking out enough pastries? i understand you want our customers to have an abundance of choice, but when i have to toss out dozens of pastries and sandwiches a night, it's clear there's a waste problem. if you want us to get rid of the excess pastries, then at least make it easier for us to donate these food items to charities or shelters.
but whatever the case or cause was, we baristas are now cursed with ovens in our stores.
i'm sure you can well guess our initial protests to the convection ovens: it's yet another machine to clean, another way to make the line move slower, and another item for customers to bitch about. and although i'm sure all these concerns were brought up to corporate, in their infinite wisdom they decided that all company owned stores NEEDED to have ovens on the premises.
now, the ovens were brought forth so that we could serve breakfast sandwiches. and i'm sure someone, somewhere bought a cup of starbucks coffee and wished they didn't have to then travel to mcdonald's for their egg mcmuffin. so for them, the introduction of the ovens was marketing genius. however, there's an equal (if not larger) number of people who were glad that they didn't have to smell the scent of pre-cooked eggs and soggy bacon while they waited for their lattes.
and yes - not only are they annoying to clean (seriously, the aroma of the cleaning spray induces gagging) and increase the wait time for customers, they are also very hazardous to baristas!
everyone in my store has fallen victim to these awful ovens. i have received blisters just from removing pastries from the oven (with the specified long handled tongs, mind you), superlead received a third degree burn from a breakfast sandwich that fought back (yes - the cheese splattered on her as she opened the oven), and other baristas also begrudgingly wear the battle wounds from these 'new money-makers'.
but it's not just the blisters, burns, and added cleaning that frustrate us baristas. it's the customers that want their muffins, danishes and sandwiches warmed to specific temperatures, or want their lattes 'zapped' so that it's a little hotter, or even want the bottom of their coffee cake room temperature, while the top is 'browned' a bit more. and of course we try to educate each customer that we cannot cater to their whims, but still arguments ensue.
my favorite so far:
customer: hi! i'm in here everyday! can you warm my slice of pizza for me?
barista brat: (searching brain for recollection of customer, but there's none) i'm sorry, we can't warm up items from other places. just starbucks food.
customer: but i'm in here everyday! it's just a slice of pizza! can't you zap if for half a minute?
barista brat: no, i'm sorry. it's a health code violation. we are not allowed to put anything in the ovens that isn't from starbucks.
customer: well, just leave the pizza in the box! seriously - i'm here everyday! can't you just do it for me?
barista brat: uh, no. it's a violation, plus the box would catch on fire.
customer: (now wearing a bitch-face) it will NOT catch fire! i KNOW how a MICROWAVE works!
barista brat: it's NOT a MICROWAVE. it's an oven and the answer is still 'no'.
customer: i can't believe you won't do this one little thing for me. i'm here everyday!
partner rant: i know that although our aprons are green, we are far from being a 'green' company. and really, i'm ok with that. what i'm not ok with is the amount of food waste in our stores. why do stores get in trouble for not marking out enough pastries? i understand you want our customers to have an abundance of choice, but when i have to toss out dozens of pastries and sandwiches a night, it's clear there's a waste problem. if you want us to get rid of the excess pastries, then at least make it easier for us to donate these food items to charities or shelters.
10.27.2007
newbie blues
we have a newbie infestation.
not only do we have a ton of new hires on hand for the holidays, we also are training newbies for the brand new store that will be opening in a few weeks.
let me tell you - they don't make newbies like they used to.
at first i was blaming the managers for hiring people that clearly are not cut out to work at bux - that maybe they were just so desperate for bodies to put in aprons that they were hiring any and everyone with decent availability. but then i realized that even the dumbest people can interview well. they just can't follow it up by working well.
here is a list of the recent newbie screw-ups that my store has had to deal with:
the tagger - while learning how to ring on the register, this newbie decided to use the sharpie given to him to write on the counter, the pastry case and the register he was assigned to. not only was he stupid enough to tag in the first place, but he used his real first name, making it especially easy to finger him as the culprit.
the addict - this newbie begged to do a trash run to the dumpster. when we realized he'd been gone longer than necessary a fellow barista went out to check on him. he found the newbie four feet from the front door smoking a cigarette. newbie pretended he had no idea he wasn't allowed to smoke while on duty and returned to the store. not only did he try to sneak in a smoke break, he never even made it to the dumpster to toss the trash.
mr. 'short-term memory' - this is the most dangerous sort of newbie. the kind that seems to comprehend everything said to him, and then proceeds to forget it in a matter of seconds. mr. short-term was asked to a)sweep the lobby, b)fill the napkins and c)change the milk containers. not a minute later he was back at his register. "did you check the lobby already?" i asked him, only to be answered with a blank look accomponied by a "huh?". i had to walk him through our last conversation to remind him that he'd been assigned tasks. after telling him (again) the three things he needed to get done he proceeded to check the lobby. when he had 'finished' i realized he'd forgotten to fill the napkins and change the milks, so i called him on it. his response? "oh, you wanted me to do those things too?".
the second guesser - this newbie wants so badly to do a good job that she refuses to trust her instincts. after going over the 3-4-5 rule with her dozens of times, i put her on bar so that she could get practice making drinks. the very first drink she was to make was a grande mocha. before putting the syrup in the cup, she pulled out her training booklet. "what are you doing?" i asked her, shocked that she could forget the 3-4-5 rule so soon. "just making sure i have the recipe right," she answered. she proceeded to make the drink correctly and i thought all was good. until i noticed she pulled out her booklet before every drink - even when she had to make another grande mocha.
mr. 'cracks under pressure' - every newbie is assigned a partner number. this is the number you clock in and out with, the number you assign a till with, and the number you use to log into the register in order to ring customers up. so, this newbie (who will not last past the holidays, i'm sure) came in on his scheduled shift, clocked in (with his numbers), was asked to assign a till (using his numbers) and was then asked to ring up customers (again, with his numbers). after an hour of alternating between being on till and prepping product, mr. cracks under pressure called me over to his register. "brat, i'm having a problem," he confided to me while twitching nervously. "what's the issue?" i asked, a bit pissed because he was taking so long at ringing up customers. "uh, i'm having issues with ringing her up," he pointed to the woman in line who wanted to purchase a mug. "well, put your numbers in and then scan the barcode." i told him (with little patience). "that's the problem," he twitched some more, "i forgot my numbers." i had to take a good three seconds to compose myself before i responded to him. "you. forgot. your. numbers?" i asked increduously. "uh, yeah. i'm getting them confused with my social security number." he admitted. i sent him to do dishes while i finished ringing up the line. a half hour later he happily informed me that he had miraculously remembered his numbers.
miss 'does not compute' - this newbie is extrememly unclear on the concept. after learning how to make frappuccinos, she was asked to do some practice drinks. instead of filling the blender with liquid, ice and syrup, she filled a grande cup with the ingredients. then she proceeded to place the cup on the blender unit and pressed the button. "it's not working!" she cried out. "um," the lead on duty tried hard to contain his laughter. "it's not possible to blend a drink in the cup you're going to serve it in. you have to blend it in a BLENDER." she also thought changing the milk pitchers meant putting the half&half pitcher where the nonfat pitcher was and vice versa. and when a customer asked for an iced latte, she made a hot latte and added ice. and no - i don't feel the least bit bad for writing "i am sofa king we todd did" on a piece of paper for her to read aloud. btw - she read it ten times and never got the joke.
partner rant: we are on a course for destruction. our store is about to implode. there are a handful of us baristas who are holding this shit together (including the manager). if you don't want to do your job, then leave. it doesn't matter that we like you outside of work, or that you're a cool person to be around. if you're not pulling your weight, you're making my job that much harder. our tips suck because our customers don't want to reward subpar work. morale is down, the store is a mess and we are always running out of product. now we are heading into holiday and things are only going to become more difficult. i used to love my job, and now i'm dreading it. if people don't start perfoming like they should, i might be the one looking for something new to do.
not only do we have a ton of new hires on hand for the holidays, we also are training newbies for the brand new store that will be opening in a few weeks.
let me tell you - they don't make newbies like they used to.
at first i was blaming the managers for hiring people that clearly are not cut out to work at bux - that maybe they were just so desperate for bodies to put in aprons that they were hiring any and everyone with decent availability. but then i realized that even the dumbest people can interview well. they just can't follow it up by working well.
here is a list of the recent newbie screw-ups that my store has had to deal with:
the tagger - while learning how to ring on the register, this newbie decided to use the sharpie given to him to write on the counter, the pastry case and the register he was assigned to. not only was he stupid enough to tag in the first place, but he used his real first name, making it especially easy to finger him as the culprit.
the addict - this newbie begged to do a trash run to the dumpster. when we realized he'd been gone longer than necessary a fellow barista went out to check on him. he found the newbie four feet from the front door smoking a cigarette. newbie pretended he had no idea he wasn't allowed to smoke while on duty and returned to the store. not only did he try to sneak in a smoke break, he never even made it to the dumpster to toss the trash.
mr. 'short-term memory' - this is the most dangerous sort of newbie. the kind that seems to comprehend everything said to him, and then proceeds to forget it in a matter of seconds. mr. short-term was asked to a)sweep the lobby, b)fill the napkins and c)change the milk containers. not a minute later he was back at his register. "did you check the lobby already?" i asked him, only to be answered with a blank look accomponied by a "huh?". i had to walk him through our last conversation to remind him that he'd been assigned tasks. after telling him (again) the three things he needed to get done he proceeded to check the lobby. when he had 'finished' i realized he'd forgotten to fill the napkins and change the milks, so i called him on it. his response? "oh, you wanted me to do those things too?".
the second guesser - this newbie wants so badly to do a good job that she refuses to trust her instincts. after going over the 3-4-5 rule with her dozens of times, i put her on bar so that she could get practice making drinks. the very first drink she was to make was a grande mocha. before putting the syrup in the cup, she pulled out her training booklet. "what are you doing?" i asked her, shocked that she could forget the 3-4-5 rule so soon. "just making sure i have the recipe right," she answered. she proceeded to make the drink correctly and i thought all was good. until i noticed she pulled out her booklet before every drink - even when she had to make another grande mocha.
mr. 'cracks under pressure' - every newbie is assigned a partner number. this is the number you clock in and out with, the number you assign a till with, and the number you use to log into the register in order to ring customers up. so, this newbie (who will not last past the holidays, i'm sure) came in on his scheduled shift, clocked in (with his numbers), was asked to assign a till (using his numbers) and was then asked to ring up customers (again, with his numbers). after an hour of alternating between being on till and prepping product, mr. cracks under pressure called me over to his register. "brat, i'm having a problem," he confided to me while twitching nervously. "what's the issue?" i asked, a bit pissed because he was taking so long at ringing up customers. "uh, i'm having issues with ringing her up," he pointed to the woman in line who wanted to purchase a mug. "well, put your numbers in and then scan the barcode." i told him (with little patience). "that's the problem," he twitched some more, "i forgot my numbers." i had to take a good three seconds to compose myself before i responded to him. "you. forgot. your. numbers?" i asked increduously. "uh, yeah. i'm getting them confused with my social security number." he admitted. i sent him to do dishes while i finished ringing up the line. a half hour later he happily informed me that he had miraculously remembered his numbers.
miss 'does not compute' - this newbie is extrememly unclear on the concept. after learning how to make frappuccinos, she was asked to do some practice drinks. instead of filling the blender with liquid, ice and syrup, she filled a grande cup with the ingredients. then she proceeded to place the cup on the blender unit and pressed the button. "it's not working!" she cried out. "um," the lead on duty tried hard to contain his laughter. "it's not possible to blend a drink in the cup you're going to serve it in. you have to blend it in a BLENDER." she also thought changing the milk pitchers meant putting the half&half pitcher where the nonfat pitcher was and vice versa. and when a customer asked for an iced latte, she made a hot latte and added ice. and no - i don't feel the least bit bad for writing "i am sofa king we todd did" on a piece of paper for her to read aloud. btw - she read it ten times and never got the joke.
partner rant: we are on a course for destruction. our store is about to implode. there are a handful of us baristas who are holding this shit together (including the manager). if you don't want to do your job, then leave. it doesn't matter that we like you outside of work, or that you're a cool person to be around. if you're not pulling your weight, you're making my job that much harder. our tips suck because our customers don't want to reward subpar work. morale is down, the store is a mess and we are always running out of product. now we are heading into holiday and things are only going to become more difficult. i used to love my job, and now i'm dreading it. if people don't start perfoming like they should, i might be the one looking for something new to do.
10.03.2007
bux, rotten bux
i know, i know - brat has been MIA for awhile.
i have to be honest. the past couple weeks at bux have been rough. after dealing with another rash of newbies, an assistant manager who freaks out on an hourly basis, and the crazy after-school rushes, i've been less than enthusiastic about keeping my green apron on while i'm off the clock.
in fact, lately i've been dreading going to work at bux at all. i still love all my bux friends, and most our customers still brighten my day, but when you spend each and every shift training (or RE-training) someone how to make a latte, ring up a pastry, or even how to double bag a trash can, well, it can get tiresomely redundant.
and when our district manager comes in and micro-manages every aspect of our store operations (even down to what color marker we use for the coffee tags), it not only interrupts the natural flow of the store, but puts every barista on edge as well.
but the worse of the worst has to be mr. split personality assistant manager.
now you may recall that mr. split personality and i have some mutual friends, which immediately meant i was mr. split's bff at bux. believe it or not, mr. split is a really cool guy. yeah, he's a bit awkward socially, and sometimes he can be clingy, but for the most part people genuinely like him - except for when he's wearing his green apron.
maybe it's because mr. split personality is one of those types who can't handle stress, or maybe it's because he's the kind of guy that lets the smallest thing ruin his whole day - no matter the cause, the effect is that every single barista HATES working with him.
"how's your day been so far?" i asked a shiny newbie her second day on the job.
"well..." she started slowly, choosing her words carefully. "when i work with you, or with the other baristas, everything is cool and fun. but when i work with mr. split my shoulders touch my ears because i'm so stressed and freaked out."
"uh, yeah," i wrinkled my nose. "he has that effect on everyone."
"thank god - because i thought it was just me." she breathed a sigh of relief. "i was afraid i was so bad that i was throwing him off his game."
"unfortunately," i rolled my eyes, "that IS his game."
i was talking with super lead (formerly known as awesomely amazing barista) about mr. split and we've come to this conclusion: this job is not for him.
yes, he WANTS to be a good assistant manager.
and yes, he REALLY tries to do a good job, but the problem is that he is not equipped to handle the high volume, high workload, and high expectations of his position (although i've heard from many parties that he wasn't all that qualified to be a barista, either). and when someone, be it our manager or a barista, tries to let him know how to be more effective at his job,or points out something he didn't do to standard, he gets defensive and pissy.
now mind you - this is the guy that was angry and depressed for three days straight when he found out a girl he'd met on eharmony was thirty pounds heavier than her picture portrayed her to be. imagine what he's like when a barista has to correct his cup markings.
the flip side is that when he's not stressed, not messing up, and not making our jobs more difficult, he's very upbeat and fun (although he is often reminiscent of a tag along sibling).
i get the impression that he knows his position in our store is on the line - that all parties involved know he's not up to task. it remains to be seen if that will get him to shape up, or if he will go completely mental.
barista rant: do not blame me for your mistake. if you are stupid enough to take someone else's drink when i call it out, don't assume i'm stupid enough to believe it was my fault - no matter what excuse you make. don't tell me that i called the drink out wrong. don't tell the other customer that i mixed up the order of the drinks. don't explain to me how i set the drink in front of you, called out your name and beverage, yet handed you a drink that belonged to a totally different customer. and don't expect me to apologize, or use my sweet barista voice, when i set you straight.
i have to be honest. the past couple weeks at bux have been rough. after dealing with another rash of newbies, an assistant manager who freaks out on an hourly basis, and the crazy after-school rushes, i've been less than enthusiastic about keeping my green apron on while i'm off the clock.
in fact, lately i've been dreading going to work at bux at all. i still love all my bux friends, and most our customers still brighten my day, but when you spend each and every shift training (or RE-training) someone how to make a latte, ring up a pastry, or even how to double bag a trash can, well, it can get tiresomely redundant.
and when our district manager comes in and micro-manages every aspect of our store operations (even down to what color marker we use for the coffee tags), it not only interrupts the natural flow of the store, but puts every barista on edge as well.
but the worse of the worst has to be mr. split personality assistant manager.
now you may recall that mr. split personality and i have some mutual friends, which immediately meant i was mr. split's bff at bux. believe it or not, mr. split is a really cool guy. yeah, he's a bit awkward socially, and sometimes he can be clingy, but for the most part people genuinely like him - except for when he's wearing his green apron.
maybe it's because mr. split personality is one of those types who can't handle stress, or maybe it's because he's the kind of guy that lets the smallest thing ruin his whole day - no matter the cause, the effect is that every single barista HATES working with him.
"how's your day been so far?" i asked a shiny newbie her second day on the job.
"well..." she started slowly, choosing her words carefully. "when i work with you, or with the other baristas, everything is cool and fun. but when i work with mr. split my shoulders touch my ears because i'm so stressed and freaked out."
"uh, yeah," i wrinkled my nose. "he has that effect on everyone."
"thank god - because i thought it was just me." she breathed a sigh of relief. "i was afraid i was so bad that i was throwing him off his game."
"unfortunately," i rolled my eyes, "that IS his game."
i was talking with super lead (formerly known as awesomely amazing barista) about mr. split and we've come to this conclusion: this job is not for him.
yes, he WANTS to be a good assistant manager.
and yes, he REALLY tries to do a good job, but the problem is that he is not equipped to handle the high volume, high workload, and high expectations of his position (although i've heard from many parties that he wasn't all that qualified to be a barista, either). and when someone, be it our manager or a barista, tries to let him know how to be more effective at his job,or points out something he didn't do to standard, he gets defensive and pissy.
now mind you - this is the guy that was angry and depressed for three days straight when he found out a girl he'd met on eharmony was thirty pounds heavier than her picture portrayed her to be. imagine what he's like when a barista has to correct his cup markings.
the flip side is that when he's not stressed, not messing up, and not making our jobs more difficult, he's very upbeat and fun (although he is often reminiscent of a tag along sibling).
i get the impression that he knows his position in our store is on the line - that all parties involved know he's not up to task. it remains to be seen if that will get him to shape up, or if he will go completely mental.
barista rant: do not blame me for your mistake. if you are stupid enough to take someone else's drink when i call it out, don't assume i'm stupid enough to believe it was my fault - no matter what excuse you make. don't tell me that i called the drink out wrong. don't tell the other customer that i mixed up the order of the drinks. don't explain to me how i set the drink in front of you, called out your name and beverage, yet handed you a drink that belonged to a totally different customer. and don't expect me to apologize, or use my sweet barista voice, when i set you straight.
9.12.2007
insult to injury
working at bux, you get used to people talking smack, running scams, and hurling insults your way. it's par for the course, and usually it's pretty easy to ignore/laugh off the stupidity you must endure each week, but occasionally there will be times when it will take every bit of self-control not to go off on someone.
this past week i had just such an encounter.
i've complained often about mr. whim and his never-ending drink complaints: "this is too foamy, it's not hot enough, there's not enough espresso, it tastes funny, too much ice, etc., etc."
but last week mr. whim went too far.
now, i know some of you might be thinking, "but brat, you've dealt with mr. whim countless times in the past. why was this time around so much more egregious?"
well, i'll tell you.
i greeted mr. whim as soon as he walked in the store and asked if he would be ordering his usual.
"yeah, thanks." he smiled and handed over his credit card to the register partner for payment.
knowing how picky he always is about his drinks, i steamed his milk to his desired temperature, making sure i did not over-aerate the milk. after his shots pulled, i made sure i had his attention as i poured the steamed milk into the cup.
"not too much foam, right?" i asked and made sure he gave his approval before i capped his drink and handed it to him.
as per his usual ritual, he finished reading the front page of the paper before taking his beverage to the condiment bar to "doctor it up". not one minute later he's back at the bar, but this time his demeanor was uptight and aggressive.
"this is WRONG." he made a face as he pushed his cup back towards me.
now, at this point i was already a bit pissed off. not only did i have a line of drinks in front of me, but i'd made sure to walk him through each step of the drink making process so that he'd be happy with his beverage. even though he'd given me the go ahead at each step, here he was - standing in front of my with a stinkface, demanding his drink be remade.
"gee, mr. whim," i didn't try to hard to hide my attitude, "it seems EVERY time you're in here there's a problem with your drink."
"what?" he gave me a goofy smile, as if that would somehow make me forget the million times he's had us remake his drink before. "i don't think so."
"oh yeah." i raised both eyebrows. "EVERY time - and it doesn't seem to matter how we make it at all. we can, like TODAY for instance, get your approval before handing the drink to you, and you will still say it's not right."
"well, sometimes you guys don't do it quite right - " he started to defend himself.
"it just seems REALLY odd that the problem is always with us, you know?" i'd given up on trying to sound even remotely polite. "that somehow NONE of us can get your drink right, even when you're watching us make it every step of the way."
"that's not true," he gave me a fake chuckle. "that guy there never messes it up." he said as he pointed to slacker barista. "he always makes it perfectly."
in that second i was so agitated i couldn't even see straight.
NEVER before had i ever been so insulted while wearing a green apron.
never had a stupid customer comment cut me to the core.
was mr. whim REALLY saying that slacker barista made better drinks than me? that slacker barista somehow could read mr. whim's many moods and fix his drinks accordingly? how could mr. whim not be able to tell the quality difference between freshly steamed milk, and resteamed, mixed milk made with a dirty steam wand?
i couldn't even respond to mr. whim, i was so upset. i told slacker barista to remake the beverage since he "always makes it perfectly" and then took a moment to bitch to a fellow barista brat about mr. whim. it was surprising that i couldn't shake my anger for the rest of the shift - especially since slacker barista wouldn't shut up about how he was the only one who could make mr. whim's drinks right on the first try.
the next day, slacker barista was still riding his high, when mr. whim showed up for his usual.
"brat, you want me to get this?" slacker barista asked, confident in his skills.
"be my guest." i shrugged and went back to prepping frappuccino bases.
can i tell you how satisfying it was to hear the words: "this is WRONG. you need to remake it!" come from mr. whim once slacker barista had handed over the beverage?
"but man, you said i always do it right." slacker barista said with a hint of hurt in his voice.
"well, not this time. there's too much foam - and it tastes funny." mr. whim responded flippantly.
"what an ass!" slacker barista hissed once mr. whim had finally gone.
the brat in me just smiled and felt the anger from the day before melt away.
barista rant: please listen up. it is never, never, NEVER funny to stick your hand in our tip jar, grab a fistfull of dollars and ask, "can i pay with this?". we baristas will never laugh when you do this. we will never give you a thumbs up and say, "good one!" we are not here to laugh at your dumb jokes, so don't get offended and pissy with us when we answer, "no, you can't pay with our tips. did you want to order anything else?" instead of giggling at your 'wit'. and if you insist on continuing to play this joke on us, we will be forced to hang on to your change and ask, "is this for us?" as well.
this past week i had just such an encounter.
i've complained often about mr. whim and his never-ending drink complaints: "this is too foamy, it's not hot enough, there's not enough espresso, it tastes funny, too much ice, etc., etc."
but last week mr. whim went too far.
now, i know some of you might be thinking, "but brat, you've dealt with mr. whim countless times in the past. why was this time around so much more egregious?"
well, i'll tell you.
i greeted mr. whim as soon as he walked in the store and asked if he would be ordering his usual.
"yeah, thanks." he smiled and handed over his credit card to the register partner for payment.
knowing how picky he always is about his drinks, i steamed his milk to his desired temperature, making sure i did not over-aerate the milk. after his shots pulled, i made sure i had his attention as i poured the steamed milk into the cup.
"not too much foam, right?" i asked and made sure he gave his approval before i capped his drink and handed it to him.
as per his usual ritual, he finished reading the front page of the paper before taking his beverage to the condiment bar to "doctor it up". not one minute later he's back at the bar, but this time his demeanor was uptight and aggressive.
"this is WRONG." he made a face as he pushed his cup back towards me.
now, at this point i was already a bit pissed off. not only did i have a line of drinks in front of me, but i'd made sure to walk him through each step of the drink making process so that he'd be happy with his beverage. even though he'd given me the go ahead at each step, here he was - standing in front of my with a stinkface, demanding his drink be remade.
"gee, mr. whim," i didn't try to hard to hide my attitude, "it seems EVERY time you're in here there's a problem with your drink."
"what?" he gave me a goofy smile, as if that would somehow make me forget the million times he's had us remake his drink before. "i don't think so."
"oh yeah." i raised both eyebrows. "EVERY time - and it doesn't seem to matter how we make it at all. we can, like TODAY for instance, get your approval before handing the drink to you, and you will still say it's not right."
"well, sometimes you guys don't do it quite right - " he started to defend himself.
"it just seems REALLY odd that the problem is always with us, you know?" i'd given up on trying to sound even remotely polite. "that somehow NONE of us can get your drink right, even when you're watching us make it every step of the way."
"that's not true," he gave me a fake chuckle. "that guy there never messes it up." he said as he pointed to slacker barista. "he always makes it perfectly."
in that second i was so agitated i couldn't even see straight.
NEVER before had i ever been so insulted while wearing a green apron.
never had a stupid customer comment cut me to the core.
was mr. whim REALLY saying that slacker barista made better drinks than me? that slacker barista somehow could read mr. whim's many moods and fix his drinks accordingly? how could mr. whim not be able to tell the quality difference between freshly steamed milk, and resteamed, mixed milk made with a dirty steam wand?
i couldn't even respond to mr. whim, i was so upset. i told slacker barista to remake the beverage since he "always makes it perfectly" and then took a moment to bitch to a fellow barista brat about mr. whim. it was surprising that i couldn't shake my anger for the rest of the shift - especially since slacker barista wouldn't shut up about how he was the only one who could make mr. whim's drinks right on the first try.
the next day, slacker barista was still riding his high, when mr. whim showed up for his usual.
"brat, you want me to get this?" slacker barista asked, confident in his skills.
"be my guest." i shrugged and went back to prepping frappuccino bases.
can i tell you how satisfying it was to hear the words: "this is WRONG. you need to remake it!" come from mr. whim once slacker barista had handed over the beverage?
"but man, you said i always do it right." slacker barista said with a hint of hurt in his voice.
"well, not this time. there's too much foam - and it tastes funny." mr. whim responded flippantly.
"what an ass!" slacker barista hissed once mr. whim had finally gone.
the brat in me just smiled and felt the anger from the day before melt away.
barista rant: please listen up. it is never, never, NEVER funny to stick your hand in our tip jar, grab a fistfull of dollars and ask, "can i pay with this?". we baristas will never laugh when you do this. we will never give you a thumbs up and say, "good one!" we are not here to laugh at your dumb jokes, so don't get offended and pissy with us when we answer, "no, you can't pay with our tips. did you want to order anything else?" instead of giggling at your 'wit'. and if you insist on continuing to play this joke on us, we will be forced to hang on to your change and ask, "is this for us?" as well.
8.29.2007
high on love
doobie newbie has been making minor improvements each week.
amazingly, he now knows how many pumps of vanilla are in a grande latte, as well as remembering that refrigerator doors need to stay shut if they are to keep cool. he's shaved a full minute off the amount of time it takes him to clean the lobby, and he's even learned the difference between an iced mocha and a mocha frappuccino.
you might ask yourself why doobie newbie has turned over a new leaf.
could it be a new found sense of accomplishment?
a fully functioning extra brain cell?
a heart-to-heart from his parents?
no. no. and no.
there can be only one reason for this new transformation: he's in love.
that's right - doobie newbie is changing his ways for a woman.
who's the lucky girl?
well, that would be awesomely amazing barista.
"brat, have you noticed doobie newbie following you around more than usual lately?" she asked me after working three shifts in a row with him.
"no - actually he's been better about figuring out what needs to be done."
"that's weird," she wrinkled her nose. "he's been following me around a lot. even when i'm counting my till, he comes back there and just stands next to me."
"oh really?" i laughed, the image too funny for words.
"and the other day he called me and left a message on my cell but i didn't get a chance to listen to it."
"yeah?"
"so today he asked me if i got his message. i asked him why he called and he said 'oh you know, just to talk'. i thought that was so weird." she gave me a sideways look and shrugged her shoulders.
"maybe he has a crush on you?" i teased her.
"good god, i hope not." she grimaced.
but the next few days continued in the same vain. doobie newbie following her around and trying to chat her up each moment she was free.
"so, uh, you like movies?" he asked her while she was re-stocking cups.
"yep." she answered with only one word, trying not to prolong the conversation.
"uh, do you read any comic books?" he asked after a few minutes.
"nope." again she gave a minimal answer.
when it became painfully obvious that doobie newbie was fully enamoured with her, awesomely amazing barista made sure to talk a lot about her boyfriend whenever her admirer was around.
"so, uh, you have a boyfriend?" he asked with fallen face.
"yep."
"uh, even though you have a boyfriend, are you still allowed to hang out?" he asked hopefully.
"allowed? what do you mean 'allowed'?" she laughed.
so even though doobie newbie knows she's taken, he continues to follow her around, chat her up, and now is doing his best to improve his performance so that he can impress her. if he wasn't such a terrible barista, all this might actually be endearing.
barista rant: if you ask for the piece of coffee cake in the front of the pastry case - i'm going to give you the piece of coffee cake from the front of the pastry case. so don't holler and hoot, "no! i said the one if front! the one in front!" when i hand it to you. when i show you exactly where i got the coffee cake from, don't give me attitude and huff, "well, that's actually the one in back from where YOU'RE standing!". and when i explain that no matter where i'm standing, the front of the case is still the FRONT of the pastry case, don't grab the bag from my hand and complain about how rude i am.
amazingly, he now knows how many pumps of vanilla are in a grande latte, as well as remembering that refrigerator doors need to stay shut if they are to keep cool. he's shaved a full minute off the amount of time it takes him to clean the lobby, and he's even learned the difference between an iced mocha and a mocha frappuccino.
you might ask yourself why doobie newbie has turned over a new leaf.
could it be a new found sense of accomplishment?
a fully functioning extra brain cell?
a heart-to-heart from his parents?
no. no. and no.
there can be only one reason for this new transformation: he's in love.
that's right - doobie newbie is changing his ways for a woman.
who's the lucky girl?
well, that would be awesomely amazing barista.
"brat, have you noticed doobie newbie following you around more than usual lately?" she asked me after working three shifts in a row with him.
"no - actually he's been better about figuring out what needs to be done."
"that's weird," she wrinkled her nose. "he's been following me around a lot. even when i'm counting my till, he comes back there and just stands next to me."
"oh really?" i laughed, the image too funny for words.
"and the other day he called me and left a message on my cell but i didn't get a chance to listen to it."
"yeah?"
"so today he asked me if i got his message. i asked him why he called and he said 'oh you know, just to talk'. i thought that was so weird." she gave me a sideways look and shrugged her shoulders.
"maybe he has a crush on you?" i teased her.
"good god, i hope not." she grimaced.
but the next few days continued in the same vain. doobie newbie following her around and trying to chat her up each moment she was free.
"so, uh, you like movies?" he asked her while she was re-stocking cups.
"yep." she answered with only one word, trying not to prolong the conversation.
"uh, do you read any comic books?" he asked after a few minutes.
"nope." again she gave a minimal answer.
when it became painfully obvious that doobie newbie was fully enamoured with her, awesomely amazing barista made sure to talk a lot about her boyfriend whenever her admirer was around.
"so, uh, you have a boyfriend?" he asked with fallen face.
"yep."
"uh, even though you have a boyfriend, are you still allowed to hang out?" he asked hopefully.
"allowed? what do you mean 'allowed'?" she laughed.
so even though doobie newbie knows she's taken, he continues to follow her around, chat her up, and now is doing his best to improve his performance so that he can impress her. if he wasn't such a terrible barista, all this might actually be endearing.
barista rant: if you ask for the piece of coffee cake in the front of the pastry case - i'm going to give you the piece of coffee cake from the front of the pastry case. so don't holler and hoot, "no! i said the one if front! the one in front!" when i hand it to you. when i show you exactly where i got the coffee cake from, don't give me attitude and huff, "well, that's actually the one in back from where YOU'RE standing!". and when i explain that no matter where i'm standing, the front of the case is still the FRONT of the pastry case, don't grab the bag from my hand and complain about how rude i am.
8.17.2007
lie to me
it's a rare day when we DON'T hear "but the other bux does it for me!".
i really hate 'the other bux'. i hate those 'other baristas' who apparently have no use for drink standards, health department regulations, or honesty. i hate being told by a misinformed customer that i have no clue as to what i'm talking about and that i obviously need to be re-trained. and that the 'other bux' is where i should re-train at.
"i want a sugar-free caramel frappuccino." a customer placed her order yesterday.
"ok, i do have sugar-free caramel syrup, but i just want to make sure you know that the drink still has sugar since none of our frappuccino bases are sugar-free." i told her pleasantly, but fully aware that she was going to blow her top.
"NO!" she jutted her chin towards me and rolled her eyes. "i am a diabetic, so the only thing i can drink are your sugar-free frappuccinos, and that's what i WANT!"
"ma'am," i started calmly, hating that i've had to have this same conversation with countless customers before. "we offer regular frappuccinos and light frappuccinos. now, there is splenda in the light frappuccinos, but there is also some sugar. there is absolutely no way i can make a frappuccino completely sugar-free for you - and i think you really need to know that since you are diabetic. i can, however, offer you an iced sugar-free caramel latte."
"no, no, no!" she shook her head. "you DO make a sugar-free frappuccino! i know because i get them all the time!"
"ma'am - "
"look - " she interrupted me. "i go to the starbucks down the street all the time. the guy there told me that there is no sugar at all in my drink. and i KNOW he was telling the truth because i told him i'm a diabetic."
why, oh why, do customers believe a lazy barista over an informed one?
yeah, i know. it's because the lazy barista is telling them what they WANT to hear.
"well," i continued, opting to end this as quick as possible. "THIS starbucks doesn't carry sugar-free frappuccino base."
"that's ridiculous!" she wasn't going to leave without a fight. "all starbucks are supposed to carry the same items! let me talk to your manager."
"ma'am, starbucks doesn't offer a sugar-free frappuccino base, only frappuccino light base." he told her after she'd gave him every painful detail of our conversation.
"oh, ok." she pouted. "i guess i'll just have to give my business to the OTHER starbucks down the street!"
"that's fine," my manager said with a smile and a shrug. "just remember, it will still have sugar."
i swear, sometimes i love my manager.
partner rant: ok - i'm sure you thought it was hilarious at the time, but telling non-stop talking customer that the barista brat was "missing him" and "couldn't wait for him to get back from vacation" has a load of bad karma heading towards them. i know you clutched your aching sides from laughter when you heard him say, "oh brat, i missed you as well" and "so brat, you've been on my mind lately". or when he patted his stomach to show me how those last few trips to the gym have paid off. i'm glad you had your fun, but now i have to deal with non-stop talking customer thinking i have a crush on him. ugh.
i really hate 'the other bux'. i hate those 'other baristas' who apparently have no use for drink standards, health department regulations, or honesty. i hate being told by a misinformed customer that i have no clue as to what i'm talking about and that i obviously need to be re-trained. and that the 'other bux' is where i should re-train at.
"i want a sugar-free caramel frappuccino." a customer placed her order yesterday.
"ok, i do have sugar-free caramel syrup, but i just want to make sure you know that the drink still has sugar since none of our frappuccino bases are sugar-free." i told her pleasantly, but fully aware that she was going to blow her top.
"NO!" she jutted her chin towards me and rolled her eyes. "i am a diabetic, so the only thing i can drink are your sugar-free frappuccinos, and that's what i WANT!"
"ma'am," i started calmly, hating that i've had to have this same conversation with countless customers before. "we offer regular frappuccinos and light frappuccinos. now, there is splenda in the light frappuccinos, but there is also some sugar. there is absolutely no way i can make a frappuccino completely sugar-free for you - and i think you really need to know that since you are diabetic. i can, however, offer you an iced sugar-free caramel latte."
"no, no, no!" she shook her head. "you DO make a sugar-free frappuccino! i know because i get them all the time!"
"ma'am - "
"look - " she interrupted me. "i go to the starbucks down the street all the time. the guy there told me that there is no sugar at all in my drink. and i KNOW he was telling the truth because i told him i'm a diabetic."
why, oh why, do customers believe a lazy barista over an informed one?
yeah, i know. it's because the lazy barista is telling them what they WANT to hear.
"well," i continued, opting to end this as quick as possible. "THIS starbucks doesn't carry sugar-free frappuccino base."
"that's ridiculous!" she wasn't going to leave without a fight. "all starbucks are supposed to carry the same items! let me talk to your manager."
"ma'am, starbucks doesn't offer a sugar-free frappuccino base, only frappuccino light base." he told her after she'd gave him every painful detail of our conversation.
"oh, ok." she pouted. "i guess i'll just have to give my business to the OTHER starbucks down the street!"
"that's fine," my manager said with a smile and a shrug. "just remember, it will still have sugar."
i swear, sometimes i love my manager.
partner rant: ok - i'm sure you thought it was hilarious at the time, but telling non-stop talking customer that the barista brat was "missing him" and "couldn't wait for him to get back from vacation" has a load of bad karma heading towards them. i know you clutched your aching sides from laughter when you heard him say, "oh brat, i missed you as well" and "so brat, you've been on my mind lately". or when he patted his stomach to show me how those last few trips to the gym have paid off. i'm glad you had your fun, but now i have to deal with non-stop talking customer thinking i have a crush on him. ugh.
8.08.2007
laugh a latte
although it can sometimes be stressful working at bux when one has to deal with fussy customers, slacking partners and nit-picking district managers, there are days when not only is being a barista fun, it's downright hilarious. my last few shifts i've laughed and smiled so much, my jaw hurts.
funniest customer of the week -
customer: hey, do you have any of that lindsay lohan tea?
barista brat: i'm sorry?
customer (leaning in close): you know what i'm talking about, right?
barista brat: i have no idea.
customer: it's a tea. the firecrotch tea.
barista brat (laughing hard): do you mean the african red bush tea?
customer: yeah, that's the one! lindsay lohan!
'foot in mouth' barista award -
barista buddy: hey, doobie newbie, can you grab some vanilla syrup from the back?
doobie newbie (pointing to customers at the register): but...but...
barista buddy: don't worry, i'll ring. i just need you to grab me some vanilla.
doobie newbie: but the customers...
barista buddy: please. just. grab. vanilla.
doobie newbie (as he shluffs off to the backroom): uh...ok.
barista buddy: man, what an idiot. he's a nice guy, but seriously - an idiot!
doobie newbie: here's the vanilla.
barista buddy: thanks.
doobie newbie (to the customers at the register): hi mom. hey dad.
delayed reaction award -
customer: can you make me a vanilla iced coffee, but creamier than usual?
barista brat: weeeellll, i can put a splash of half and half in it, and maybe half a pump of dulce de leche as well.
customer: just so long as it's creamier.
barista brat: here you go - let me know what you think.
customer (takes a sip and walks away): thanks.
*twenty minutes later*
customer (walks back into bux and leans over the counter): that drink was FUCKING AWESOME!
clueless customer award -
barista brat: hi, how can i help you today?
customer: all your frappuccinos have coffee in them, right?
barista brat: not all of them. you can get a creme based frappuccino with no coffee.
customer: well, what about that new blueberry one?
barista brat: that one is made with the creme base, so there's no coffee.
customer: but i want coffee.
barista brat: the blueberry will taste horrible with coffee, but the caramel or mocha frappuccinos have coffee and they are both very popular.
customer: oooh, that sounds good! give me a blueberry caramel mocha frappuccino!
barista brat: uh, i can do caramel mocha OR blueberry creme.
customer: but i want coffee.
barista brat: yes, the caramel mocha will indeed have coffee.
customer: ok!
*three minutes later customer grabs vanilla bean frappuccino instead of caramel mocha*
customer: yum! this blueberry caramel mocha coffee is delicious!
partner rant: i know the district manager is on your case, and i know you want to be the 'best assistant manager ever!', but seriously, you have got to calm down. freaking out daily won't get the job done faster. stressing and gritting your teeth won't make us work faster. threatening to write people up every shift will not sway anyone to your cause. especially when most of us can work circles around you! please - until you can multi-task and turn over a good shift, DON'T expect your fellow baristas to give you 200%. especially when we already have to work harder to make up for your tantrums.
funniest customer of the week -
customer: hey, do you have any of that lindsay lohan tea?
barista brat: i'm sorry?
customer (leaning in close): you know what i'm talking about, right?
barista brat: i have no idea.
customer: it's a tea. the firecrotch tea.
barista brat (laughing hard): do you mean the african red bush tea?
customer: yeah, that's the one! lindsay lohan!
'foot in mouth' barista award -
barista buddy: hey, doobie newbie, can you grab some vanilla syrup from the back?
doobie newbie (pointing to customers at the register): but...but...
barista buddy: don't worry, i'll ring. i just need you to grab me some vanilla.
doobie newbie: but the customers...
barista buddy: please. just. grab. vanilla.
doobie newbie (as he shluffs off to the backroom): uh...ok.
barista buddy: man, what an idiot. he's a nice guy, but seriously - an idiot!
doobie newbie: here's the vanilla.
barista buddy: thanks.
doobie newbie (to the customers at the register): hi mom. hey dad.
delayed reaction award -
customer: can you make me a vanilla iced coffee, but creamier than usual?
barista brat: weeeellll, i can put a splash of half and half in it, and maybe half a pump of dulce de leche as well.
customer: just so long as it's creamier.
barista brat: here you go - let me know what you think.
customer (takes a sip and walks away): thanks.
*twenty minutes later*
customer (walks back into bux and leans over the counter): that drink was FUCKING AWESOME!
clueless customer award -
barista brat: hi, how can i help you today?
customer: all your frappuccinos have coffee in them, right?
barista brat: not all of them. you can get a creme based frappuccino with no coffee.
customer: well, what about that new blueberry one?
barista brat: that one is made with the creme base, so there's no coffee.
customer: but i want coffee.
barista brat: the blueberry will taste horrible with coffee, but the caramel or mocha frappuccinos have coffee and they are both very popular.
customer: oooh, that sounds good! give me a blueberry caramel mocha frappuccino!
barista brat: uh, i can do caramel mocha OR blueberry creme.
customer: but i want coffee.
barista brat: yes, the caramel mocha will indeed have coffee.
customer: ok!
*three minutes later customer grabs vanilla bean frappuccino instead of caramel mocha*
customer: yum! this blueberry caramel mocha coffee is delicious!
partner rant: i know the district manager is on your case, and i know you want to be the 'best assistant manager ever!', but seriously, you have got to calm down. freaking out daily won't get the job done faster. stressing and gritting your teeth won't make us work faster. threatening to write people up every shift will not sway anyone to your cause. especially when most of us can work circles around you! please - until you can multi-task and turn over a good shift, DON'T expect your fellow baristas to give you 200%. especially when we already have to work harder to make up for your tantrums.
8.01.2007
bait and snitch
ah, another week and another mrs. moocher sighting.
i was lucky enough to be on my break when she wheeled her (even) older sister into the store.
"hello!" she greeted my fellow barista with a toothy smile. "i want a refill, but i left my cup at home."
the barista, who really hates conflict of any sort, asked mrs. moocher to "hang on a sec" and then came to the backroom and informed me that the old bird was up to her old tricks again.
"she knows our policy." i told her. "just explain it to her again and she will either pay or go away."
"brat, can you do it please? i hate dealing with her." the barista asked.
meanwhile, at the counter, mrs. moocher was throwing a fit.
"where is she going? what is she going to say?" mrs. moocher demanded of the other barista on the floor. "is she going to snitch? is that how you do things here? are you all snitches?!?"
she didn't give the other barista a chance to say a word, instead continuing her tirade.
"do you get a raise if you're a snitch? is that how starbucks trains its workers now? do they tell you to run to the back and snitch on customers?"
when i returned to the floor with non-conflict barista, mrs. moocher aimed her ire at me.
"brat - your girl there really jumped the gun!" she shook her finger at me.
"i'm sorry?" i asked - totally confused.
"she jumped the gun, that one did! she goes running off to you, and i didn't even do anything! she is a snitch!"
i opened my mouth to respond, but she just kept squawking.
"i said to her - as soon as i came in - i said, 'hello, i would like a refill of ICE WATER, but i left my ICE WATER cup at home' and then she jumps the gun and goes running to you, as if i am trying to steal from you!"
"oh, really?" i asked disinterestedly, although in my head i was thinking "i'm so friggen' sure!".
"that is no way to treat a customer! you need to settle that one down so she doesn't jump the gun." she took her ice water from the other barista, "i just wanted a refill of water, that is all, and that other girl tried to imply that i am stealing. you need to get her in line, brat."
but the most jaw-dropping part of the exchange came moments later when mrs. moocher noticed her sister slouching in her wheelchair.
"are you falling?" mrs. moocher asked her sister, and with one hand grabbed the collar of her sister's shirt and pulled her upright, as if she were a marionette.
"man, i can't believe what she just did to her sister." non-confrontational barista said once they had left.
"hey - don't jump the gun!" i teased her.
"yeah, you snitch." the other barista laughed.
customer rant: what is your deal!?! you stood in front of the door jabbering with your friend. when i tried to step around you to enter the store, you blocked me so that you could enter first. then, when your friend stopped at a table to say hello to someone, you ran ahead of me so that you would be first in line - and you know what? i really wouldn't have cared if you knew what the hell you wanted to order! but no - you had to squint your eyes and take your time reading the menu, then you asked the barista to list the ingredients of all the muffins, and THEN you held up the (ever-growing) line so that you could wait for your friend to finish her conversation and order her drink and pastry. and even though you paid, you weren't nearly done. you stood directly in front of the serving counter so no one else could collect their drinks AND you had to touch each beverage and ask 'is this one mine?". when your drink was finally ready, you proceeded to the condiment bar and CONTINUED to be a very large thorn in my side by blocking all access to the milk and sugar. i even had to go all matrix to squeeze past you just to exit the damn store!
i was lucky enough to be on my break when she wheeled her (even) older sister into the store.
"hello!" she greeted my fellow barista with a toothy smile. "i want a refill, but i left my cup at home."
the barista, who really hates conflict of any sort, asked mrs. moocher to "hang on a sec" and then came to the backroom and informed me that the old bird was up to her old tricks again.
"she knows our policy." i told her. "just explain it to her again and she will either pay or go away."
"brat, can you do it please? i hate dealing with her." the barista asked.
meanwhile, at the counter, mrs. moocher was throwing a fit.
"where is she going? what is she going to say?" mrs. moocher demanded of the other barista on the floor. "is she going to snitch? is that how you do things here? are you all snitches?!?"
she didn't give the other barista a chance to say a word, instead continuing her tirade.
"do you get a raise if you're a snitch? is that how starbucks trains its workers now? do they tell you to run to the back and snitch on customers?"
when i returned to the floor with non-conflict barista, mrs. moocher aimed her ire at me.
"brat - your girl there really jumped the gun!" she shook her finger at me.
"i'm sorry?" i asked - totally confused.
"she jumped the gun, that one did! she goes running off to you, and i didn't even do anything! she is a snitch!"
i opened my mouth to respond, but she just kept squawking.
"i said to her - as soon as i came in - i said, 'hello, i would like a refill of ICE WATER, but i left my ICE WATER cup at home' and then she jumps the gun and goes running to you, as if i am trying to steal from you!"
"oh, really?" i asked disinterestedly, although in my head i was thinking "i'm so friggen' sure!".
"that is no way to treat a customer! you need to settle that one down so she doesn't jump the gun." she took her ice water from the other barista, "i just wanted a refill of water, that is all, and that other girl tried to imply that i am stealing. you need to get her in line, brat."
but the most jaw-dropping part of the exchange came moments later when mrs. moocher noticed her sister slouching in her wheelchair.
"are you falling?" mrs. moocher asked her sister, and with one hand grabbed the collar of her sister's shirt and pulled her upright, as if she were a marionette.
"man, i can't believe what she just did to her sister." non-confrontational barista said once they had left.
"hey - don't jump the gun!" i teased her.
"yeah, you snitch." the other barista laughed.
customer rant: what is your deal!?! you stood in front of the door jabbering with your friend. when i tried to step around you to enter the store, you blocked me so that you could enter first. then, when your friend stopped at a table to say hello to someone, you ran ahead of me so that you would be first in line - and you know what? i really wouldn't have cared if you knew what the hell you wanted to order! but no - you had to squint your eyes and take your time reading the menu, then you asked the barista to list the ingredients of all the muffins, and THEN you held up the (ever-growing) line so that you could wait for your friend to finish her conversation and order her drink and pastry. and even though you paid, you weren't nearly done. you stood directly in front of the serving counter so no one else could collect their drinks AND you had to touch each beverage and ask 'is this one mine?". when your drink was finally ready, you proceeded to the condiment bar and CONTINUED to be a very large thorn in my side by blocking all access to the milk and sugar. i even had to go all matrix to squeeze past you just to exit the damn store!
7.26.2007
we used to be friends (a long time ago)
one of the great things about working for bux is making friends with (most) your fellow partners. i am still buddies with many people from my old bux, and am very close to several of the baristas at my current bux.
sometimes, though, a person you thought was a friend can turn out to be a real jerk.
we have a barista at my store who has always been friendly with everyone. in fact, every partner in the store (managers included) has always said "that guy is so cool!" whenever his name is brought up in conversation. unfortunately his name has been brought up quite often lately.
when this partner started slacking on his barista duties, the rest of us were quick to give him a break - after all, working at bux is very labor intensive and everyone has off days. but when it became clear that he had given up caring about cleanliness, speed of service, and punctuality, the new store mantra became "yeah, he's cool, but I hate working with him".
i felt more like a babysitter than a barista whenever we were on the same shift.
"hey guy, can you remember to windex the inside and outside of the pastry case when you're cleaning it?" i asked after noticing the plethora of fingerprints on the glass.
"oh yeah, sorry." he smiled back at me. "i was about to do that."
"we have to sanitize ALL the mats." i told him plainly when he asked if it was okay to clean only the ones that 'looked dirty'.
"haha, ok." he laughed. "just thought we might be able to clock out a little early - that's all."
"hey guy, don't forget to empty the trashcans in the lobby." i had to remind him when he'd told me he'd finished all his tasks for the night. "and you still haven't windexed the outside of the pastry case."
"oh, my bad!" he smiled again before complying.
i decided to have an informal chat with him - letting him know that EVERYONE had noticed his performance was slipping, and that it was frustrating since we all knew he was fully capable of doing his job correctly. he apologized and promised to work harder on his next shifts - and he actually did improve, for about a week.
"hey brat, i don't feel like going to my other job today." he told me one morning during a crazy rush. "i'm too tired after working here, so i think i'm just gonna call in sick." he chuckled.
"please tell me you're joking." i responded, hoping he really wasn't considering screwing his other job over.
"it's boring there - all i do is stand around," he sighed. "they won't miss me anyway."
so three days later i was quite upset when i'd heard he called my manager ten minutes before his shift was supposed to start, claiming he had food poisoning. especially since he'd been trying to get that shift covered so he could go to a concert. over the next week i'd heard complaints about him from every barista i worked with.
"he says he's the fastest barista, but that's because he doesn't give a shit about standards anymore!"
"we were left with only two people during the rush because his sister needed his car 'for an emergency'. yeah right."
"he called in on sunday and said he had to take his mother to the airport, but when we phoned his house his mother said he was supposed to be at work!"
the last straw for this barista brat came two days ago.
"aw crud, brat! do you see who we're working with tomorrow?" he asked while looking over the schedule.
when i found out doobie newbie would be with us for most our shift, i looked at the slacking barista and said VERY clearly, "don't even think about flaking out on me tomorrow."
"oh, i wouldn't do that to you!" he smiled. "it's just gonna suck because i'm gonna have to work so much harder!"
although pissed, i was not surprised when i walked into work the next day and found out that he was a no call/no show for his shift. actually - he did call.
he called hours earlier to verify the start time of his shift, and then never bothered to show. he didn't answer his phone and didn't return any of our calls, either.
today i was informed that he made an appearance in our bux this morning - claiming the reason he didn't show up for his shift was because he had to take his cousin to the hospital, and he didn't have his phone to call us and let us know.
yeah, hospitals are notorious for not having any phones, right?
i really, really, REALLY hope my manager fires this barista. yeah, it sucks when a barista isn't pulling their weight, but when they totally disrespect their fellow partners by not even showing up (and then creating the lamest excuses on the planet) repeatedly, then it's time to hang up the green apron and call it a day.
the worst part is he used to be so cool. he was fun to work with, and generally a great guy to be around. if he'd always been a jerk, a slacker and a no-show, then it wouldn't be so frustrating, or feel so disrespectful. i don't know of any barista who thinks he should be able to keep his job (not that it appears he even wants it), and i hope that he's asked to leave before he has the chance to bail on his other shifts.
barista rant: please listen to the words that come out of my mouth. if i ask you 'what size?' don't sigh heavily, roll your eyes and spit 'COLD!'. don't repeat the phrase 'i want it COLD. COLD!' when i again ask you 'WHAT SIZE?'. don't look at my barista buddy, shake your head and ask 'can you let her know i want it COLD?'. and when he asks you 'what size' don't pretend that it was the first time you heard that question all day!
sometimes, though, a person you thought was a friend can turn out to be a real jerk.
we have a barista at my store who has always been friendly with everyone. in fact, every partner in the store (managers included) has always said "that guy is so cool!" whenever his name is brought up in conversation. unfortunately his name has been brought up quite often lately.
when this partner started slacking on his barista duties, the rest of us were quick to give him a break - after all, working at bux is very labor intensive and everyone has off days. but when it became clear that he had given up caring about cleanliness, speed of service, and punctuality, the new store mantra became "yeah, he's cool, but I hate working with him".
i felt more like a babysitter than a barista whenever we were on the same shift.
"hey guy, can you remember to windex the inside and outside of the pastry case when you're cleaning it?" i asked after noticing the plethora of fingerprints on the glass.
"oh yeah, sorry." he smiled back at me. "i was about to do that."
"we have to sanitize ALL the mats." i told him plainly when he asked if it was okay to clean only the ones that 'looked dirty'.
"haha, ok." he laughed. "just thought we might be able to clock out a little early - that's all."
"hey guy, don't forget to empty the trashcans in the lobby." i had to remind him when he'd told me he'd finished all his tasks for the night. "and you still haven't windexed the outside of the pastry case."
"oh, my bad!" he smiled again before complying.
i decided to have an informal chat with him - letting him know that EVERYONE had noticed his performance was slipping, and that it was frustrating since we all knew he was fully capable of doing his job correctly. he apologized and promised to work harder on his next shifts - and he actually did improve, for about a week.
"hey brat, i don't feel like going to my other job today." he told me one morning during a crazy rush. "i'm too tired after working here, so i think i'm just gonna call in sick." he chuckled.
"please tell me you're joking." i responded, hoping he really wasn't considering screwing his other job over.
"it's boring there - all i do is stand around," he sighed. "they won't miss me anyway."
so three days later i was quite upset when i'd heard he called my manager ten minutes before his shift was supposed to start, claiming he had food poisoning. especially since he'd been trying to get that shift covered so he could go to a concert. over the next week i'd heard complaints about him from every barista i worked with.
"he says he's the fastest barista, but that's because he doesn't give a shit about standards anymore!"
"we were left with only two people during the rush because his sister needed his car 'for an emergency'. yeah right."
"he called in on sunday and said he had to take his mother to the airport, but when we phoned his house his mother said he was supposed to be at work!"
the last straw for this barista brat came two days ago.
"aw crud, brat! do you see who we're working with tomorrow?" he asked while looking over the schedule.
when i found out doobie newbie would be with us for most our shift, i looked at the slacking barista and said VERY clearly, "don't even think about flaking out on me tomorrow."
"oh, i wouldn't do that to you!" he smiled. "it's just gonna suck because i'm gonna have to work so much harder!"
although pissed, i was not surprised when i walked into work the next day and found out that he was a no call/no show for his shift. actually - he did call.
he called hours earlier to verify the start time of his shift, and then never bothered to show. he didn't answer his phone and didn't return any of our calls, either.
today i was informed that he made an appearance in our bux this morning - claiming the reason he didn't show up for his shift was because he had to take his cousin to the hospital, and he didn't have his phone to call us and let us know.
yeah, hospitals are notorious for not having any phones, right?
i really, really, REALLY hope my manager fires this barista. yeah, it sucks when a barista isn't pulling their weight, but when they totally disrespect their fellow partners by not even showing up (and then creating the lamest excuses on the planet) repeatedly, then it's time to hang up the green apron and call it a day.
the worst part is he used to be so cool. he was fun to work with, and generally a great guy to be around. if he'd always been a jerk, a slacker and a no-show, then it wouldn't be so frustrating, or feel so disrespectful. i don't know of any barista who thinks he should be able to keep his job (not that it appears he even wants it), and i hope that he's asked to leave before he has the chance to bail on his other shifts.
barista rant: please listen to the words that come out of my mouth. if i ask you 'what size?' don't sigh heavily, roll your eyes and spit 'COLD!'. don't repeat the phrase 'i want it COLD. COLD!' when i again ask you 'WHAT SIZE?'. don't look at my barista buddy, shake your head and ask 'can you let her know i want it COLD?'. and when he asks you 'what size' don't pretend that it was the first time you heard that question all day!
7.19.2007
heard it through the bux line
*update*
vanishing barista has been found. ten points for those of you who knew he'd get back together with his abusive girlfriend. of course there was one relationship that was destroyed forever, and that was his employment with bux. but believe it or not my manager was willing to give vanishing barista a second chance - who has no interest in working for the company anymore. BUT - in case some of you were curious as to what he would now do for work - he did turn in an application to our main competitors in town. we know this because they called my manager for references!
and now on to our regularly scheduled post:
the best baristas always have their ears open. if you're on register you should have one ear listening to the customer and the other ear listening to your floater. if you are on bar you should have one ear open towards the people waiting for their drinks and one open towards the register partners when they yell out "soy!", "extra-hot nonfat!" or "grande cappuccino!". many a time i've been on bar and caught mis-marked cups because both my ears were open and i heard the customer request no foam, extra shots, or decaf when my register partner was oblivious.
sometimes, because both ears are open, we hear parts of conversations that we really wish we hadn't heard.
"oh my god, it was so painful!" a customer said in a low voice to her girlfriend. "since it was a woman gynecologist i totally expected her to be gentle, but she was rougher than the guy that took my virginity!"
"mommy!" a little boy howled in pain. "sara just punched me in the peanuts! HARD!"
"who cares if it fell on the floor?" a woman said into her cell phone. "just rinse it off and serve it anyway. that's what i always do."
"i can't believe i just paid two bucks for this crappy coffee." a businessman told his associate. "my secretary back at the office makes it a hundred times better than this. maybe i should give her a raise."
"that guy on register would totally be cute if he didn't have such a gut." a high schooler gossiped to her friend.
"so then i told her there IS a right and wrong way to do things!" an elder woman told her equally aged friend. "and if she can't learn to do it right, then maybe i should give her part of the inheritance to the mormon temple!"
but the funniest/most shocking thing i've heard all week came out of doobie newbie's mouth.
customer: "just a tall drip and the paper."
doobie newbie: "james, how are you?"
customer: *blank stare*
doobie newbie: "you don't remember me? i'm edward's friend.
customer: *blank stare continues*
doobie newbie: "i met you last semester on campus. you had just bought a new bike but it had a flat tire, so you asked edward if you could use his cell phone to call your girlfriend."
customer: "uh, yeah. i vaguely remember that."
doobie newbie: "it was right after your math class, remember? because you'd just taken a calculus final."
customer: "wow - that's a trip that you can remember all that."
doobie newbie: "oh, i have an amazing memory. in fact, it's kind of what i'm known for!"
partner rant: ok, so i understand you're stressed because the district manager is going to be visiting, but that doesn't mean you can go off on all the baristas! i know that as an assistant manager you have more responsibilities than the rest of us, but for grounds' sake keep your cool! reminding us five times a minute that 'the store has to be perfect! don't you realize the district manager is coming?!?' will not push us to work harder or faster. in fact, all the energy you spend freaking out can be spent scrubbing the grout.
vanishing barista has been found. ten points for those of you who knew he'd get back together with his abusive girlfriend. of course there was one relationship that was destroyed forever, and that was his employment with bux. but believe it or not my manager was willing to give vanishing barista a second chance - who has no interest in working for the company anymore. BUT - in case some of you were curious as to what he would now do for work - he did turn in an application to our main competitors in town. we know this because they called my manager for references!
and now on to our regularly scheduled post:
the best baristas always have their ears open. if you're on register you should have one ear listening to the customer and the other ear listening to your floater. if you are on bar you should have one ear open towards the people waiting for their drinks and one open towards the register partners when they yell out "soy!", "extra-hot nonfat!" or "grande cappuccino!". many a time i've been on bar and caught mis-marked cups because both my ears were open and i heard the customer request no foam, extra shots, or decaf when my register partner was oblivious.
sometimes, because both ears are open, we hear parts of conversations that we really wish we hadn't heard.
"oh my god, it was so painful!" a customer said in a low voice to her girlfriend. "since it was a woman gynecologist i totally expected her to be gentle, but she was rougher than the guy that took my virginity!"
"mommy!" a little boy howled in pain. "sara just punched me in the peanuts! HARD!"
"who cares if it fell on the floor?" a woman said into her cell phone. "just rinse it off and serve it anyway. that's what i always do."
"i can't believe i just paid two bucks for this crappy coffee." a businessman told his associate. "my secretary back at the office makes it a hundred times better than this. maybe i should give her a raise."
"that guy on register would totally be cute if he didn't have such a gut." a high schooler gossiped to her friend.
"so then i told her there IS a right and wrong way to do things!" an elder woman told her equally aged friend. "and if she can't learn to do it right, then maybe i should give her part of the inheritance to the mormon temple!"
but the funniest/most shocking thing i've heard all week came out of doobie newbie's mouth.
customer: "just a tall drip and the paper."
doobie newbie: "james, how are you?"
customer: *blank stare*
doobie newbie: "you don't remember me? i'm edward's friend.
customer: *blank stare continues*
doobie newbie: "i met you last semester on campus. you had just bought a new bike but it had a flat tire, so you asked edward if you could use his cell phone to call your girlfriend."
customer: "uh, yeah. i vaguely remember that."
doobie newbie: "it was right after your math class, remember? because you'd just taken a calculus final."
customer: "wow - that's a trip that you can remember all that."
doobie newbie: "oh, i have an amazing memory. in fact, it's kind of what i'm known for!"
partner rant: ok, so i understand you're stressed because the district manager is going to be visiting, but that doesn't mean you can go off on all the baristas! i know that as an assistant manager you have more responsibilities than the rest of us, but for grounds' sake keep your cool! reminding us five times a minute that 'the store has to be perfect! don't you realize the district manager is coming?!?' will not push us to work harder or faster. in fact, all the energy you spend freaking out can be spent scrubbing the grout.
7.12.2007
blind-sided
it's been quite the week for surprises.
a couple days ago i spotted mr. whim parking his car so i braced myself for his usual brand of crazy. luckily i wasn't on bar, so i wasn't going to have to remake his drink ten times because of his ocd, but i was on register which meant i would have to put up with his grumpiness while he ordered.
imagine my surprise when he greeted me with a 'good morning!' and made small talk while he happily handed over his money. he even made me laugh with a stupid joke, and when his drink was ready he took it without fuss and never asked the barista on bar to 'fix it'.
i think mr. whim's psychiatrist must have upped his medication because today he even complimented the skills of my manager on bar.
remember this barista?
well, after several talks from management, he finally got his overbearing girlfriend in check. sure, she still called him - but only during break. and sure, she still came in the store, but her tantrums lasted only a few minutes as opposed to entire shifts.
it's been no secret that their relationship remains quite contentious - this barista has even confided to his fellow partners about the constant mental and verbal abuse at home - but all of us were blown away the day he walked out of our store (in the middle of his shift) and out of her life.
that's right - he pulled a runner. his (ex)girlfriend has been coming in daily to see if we have any news of this missing barista. he has been a no-show to all his shifts this week, and is not answering his phone or returning calls. his girlfriend is freaking out because rent will be due soon and although she always gave this barista shit for working at bux (instead of some higher profile job) she was always happy to take his earnings so that she would only have to work one day a week.
i hope he is still alive (i was, in a rather cryptic manner, assured by another barista that he is fine) and i hope he gets his life in order.
and of course, the final surprise is mrs. moocher.
after yelling that i'd 'mortally offended' her, she is now trying to be my new BFF. she hasn't tried her mooching scam on me, but does come in for a venti iced water and a chat.
"brat, i just want you to know that i think of you often and i'm glad we are able to put that nastiness behind us!" she told me awhile back.
but last night she decided to make it a very special visit by bringing her invalid sister to the store to meet me.
"brat! this beautiful young lady is my sister," she pushed forward the wheelchair in which her very aged sibling was resting in. "i had to take her to the doctor today, but i brought her in especially to meet you!"
seriously - what the hell?!?
again, mrs. moocher did not try and run her scam (overtly). she just asked for an iced water and then began to tell me how expensive her sister's healthcare is. when she finally left, my fellow partners could not contain their laughter.
"brat, you're soooo cold-hearted!" barista buddy chuckled. "you should give that old lady her coffee for free - not charging her regular price! can't you see she needs every penny for her sister?"
so i guess mrs. moocher is trying to kill me with kindness and guilt. and it would probably work if i didn't catch on that this is just another of her scams - lengthy and well-thought out, yes, but still a scam.
barista rant: just because you work for bux does not mean you can come into my store, act like a total bitch, and get your drink for free PLUS a free coupon. i don't care if you've been a partner for 'years and years'. i don't care if 'the other bux' gives you beverages for free. i've never seen you before in my life - and even if i had, you'd still only get your thirty percent discount. and no, telling us we are the worst bux ever is not an effective way to demand a free drink coupon.
a couple days ago i spotted mr. whim parking his car so i braced myself for his usual brand of crazy. luckily i wasn't on bar, so i wasn't going to have to remake his drink ten times because of his ocd, but i was on register which meant i would have to put up with his grumpiness while he ordered.
imagine my surprise when he greeted me with a 'good morning!' and made small talk while he happily handed over his money. he even made me laugh with a stupid joke, and when his drink was ready he took it without fuss and never asked the barista on bar to 'fix it'.
i think mr. whim's psychiatrist must have upped his medication because today he even complimented the skills of my manager on bar.
remember this barista?
well, after several talks from management, he finally got his overbearing girlfriend in check. sure, she still called him - but only during break. and sure, she still came in the store, but her tantrums lasted only a few minutes as opposed to entire shifts.
it's been no secret that their relationship remains quite contentious - this barista has even confided to his fellow partners about the constant mental and verbal abuse at home - but all of us were blown away the day he walked out of our store (in the middle of his shift) and out of her life.
that's right - he pulled a runner. his (ex)girlfriend has been coming in daily to see if we have any news of this missing barista. he has been a no-show to all his shifts this week, and is not answering his phone or returning calls. his girlfriend is freaking out because rent will be due soon and although she always gave this barista shit for working at bux (instead of some higher profile job) she was always happy to take his earnings so that she would only have to work one day a week.
i hope he is still alive (i was, in a rather cryptic manner, assured by another barista that he is fine) and i hope he gets his life in order.
and of course, the final surprise is mrs. moocher.
after yelling that i'd 'mortally offended' her, she is now trying to be my new BFF. she hasn't tried her mooching scam on me, but does come in for a venti iced water and a chat.
"brat, i just want you to know that i think of you often and i'm glad we are able to put that nastiness behind us!" she told me awhile back.
but last night she decided to make it a very special visit by bringing her invalid sister to the store to meet me.
"brat! this beautiful young lady is my sister," she pushed forward the wheelchair in which her very aged sibling was resting in. "i had to take her to the doctor today, but i brought her in especially to meet you!"
seriously - what the hell?!?
again, mrs. moocher did not try and run her scam (overtly). she just asked for an iced water and then began to tell me how expensive her sister's healthcare is. when she finally left, my fellow partners could not contain their laughter.
"brat, you're soooo cold-hearted!" barista buddy chuckled. "you should give that old lady her coffee for free - not charging her regular price! can't you see she needs every penny for her sister?"
so i guess mrs. moocher is trying to kill me with kindness and guilt. and it would probably work if i didn't catch on that this is just another of her scams - lengthy and well-thought out, yes, but still a scam.
barista rant: just because you work for bux does not mean you can come into my store, act like a total bitch, and get your drink for free PLUS a free coupon. i don't care if you've been a partner for 'years and years'. i don't care if 'the other bux' gives you beverages for free. i've never seen you before in my life - and even if i had, you'd still only get your thirty percent discount. and no, telling us we are the worst bux ever is not an effective way to demand a free drink coupon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)