ordering for dummies

i guess when there's a three-day weekend, some people decide to give their brain cells a rest as well.

yesterday and today there was an insane amount of customers who needed a hard kick in the pants. i've ranted so many times before about customers who approach the register with no clue as to what they want to order after standing in line for five minutes. it's stupid, it's dumb and it wastes time for everyone involved.

- the phone addict
this is the customer who refuses to put the phone down long enough to order - instead opting to make us (and all the customers behind them) wait until their conversation is over. sometimes, in-between sentences they'll whisper something unintelligible to us and then toss their money on the counter, as if "decaf mumble, mumble, mumble" translates into starbonics.

- the first-timer
the newbie customer who waits until we've asked them "what can i get for you today?" to actually LOOK at our menu board. and of course a five-minute explanation of each and every one of our beverages ensues while the line gets longer and longer and longer.

- the should-know-better
this is the customer that has been to bux a million times, knows exactly how the ordering process goes, and STILL hems and haws when we ask them what they want. they giggle and smile and say "gee! i should know what i want by now, huh?" and then re-reads the menu forty times before deciding on their usual. their friggen' USUAL!

- the bottlenecker
at bux we usually have what's called a 'floater' to call down the line so the register partners don't have to take extra time to mark cups. usually it's a very efficient process, although occasionally we'll come across a customer who will demand so much attention, and ask so many questions, that we cannot fulfill our floater duties. meanwhile the register partner has already started to ring up the bottlenecker and cannot help the next customer in line. of course that means everyone behind them has to wait even longer just to order.

and my personal favorite:
- mr./ms. ultra-complex
this is the person that won't tell you what they want to order unless you have out your sharpie and have cup in your hand. problem is - if you don't tell me the size of your damn drink, or whether it's hot or iced, it's USELESS for me to start writing! still mr./ms. ultra-complex will say "you need to write this down" and won't utter another word until i'm perfectly poised with cup and pen in hand. then they proceed to say rather slowly "nonfat.....decaf.....three shots.....no foam.....sugar-free hazelnut....why aren't you writing this down?"
"because i need to know the size and what kind of drink it is first." i inform them.
"i'm telling you!" mr./ms. ultra-complex will huff. "nonfat....decaf....three shots...."
of course the drink ends up being a venti when we've started writing on a grande cup, or they will inform us it's supposed to be iced after watching us write down their order on a hot cup. grrrrrrr!

partner rant: please don't bitch to me about a barista you're having problems with. if it's upsetting you so much, then talk to the manager if you can't work it out with your nemesis. talking to me will fix NOTHING, and it only makes me want to take the side of the person that hates you. seriously.

deja who?

for the most part, there aren't many surprises when it comes to a bux workday.
i'm sure i could show up half unconscious and still be able to make lattes and frappuccinos - it's the repetitious nature of the business.

even though i can do my job on auto-pilot, i'm still very good about being personable and welcoming to customers. apparently so much so that i forget entire conversations.

for the past couple weeks a girl has been coming in to the store ordering iced venti soy three-pump chai lattes. each time she says, "thanks to you this is my new favorite drink! i'm so glad you suggested it!" which is strange because for the life of me i cannot remember ever having had a conversation with her. in fact, i am not a fan of chai lattes and highly doubt that i ever would tell a customer to order one - but she is insistent that i was the one who recommended it.

and there's the man who seems to remember me from my old bux, yet i cannot place him in my memory at all. he brings up specific events, but i still have no clue as to who he is.
and the high school student who read a tolstoy novel on my suggestion, though i can't remember ever talking about literature with any of our teenaged customers.
and the bux partner from another store who claims to have worked with me my first week on the job, but i swear i've never seen her before.

either i've been breathing in too many fumes from our cleaning products or i'm losing my, uh....um....what was i writing about?

barista rant: i'm sure it seemed like a hilarious joke at the time, but pretending like you're going to use our tips to pay for your drink is not a smart thing to do. especially when we've just recently had our tip jar stolen. please don't get pissy with us when we tell you to put the money back in the jar. don't accuse us of having no sense of humor, or of taking life "too seriously". how about saving the "jokes" for someone who'll find them funny - if they exist.

weekend wrap-up

things i found extremely annoying this weekend:

- each and every customer that listened to me repeat their order verbatim, only to complain that their drink was supposed to be iced/nonfat/decaf/blended/whipped after the barista had made it.
- the bitch mommy who told her son to "shut the fuck up" when he asked if he could have a hot chocolate.
- the teenagers who kept asking "are these samples?" and couldn't keep their grubby fingers off the cupcakes we have on display for valentine's day (cupcakes which had a large sign that read 'DO NOT TOUCH - FOR DISPLAY ONLY')
- the barista who preceded me on bar and left me with no steamed milk, grande hot lids or whipped cream containers during a rush.
- the lady who kept propping open our front door because her doggy felt lonely outside (the same lady that gave me a stare down when i asked what kind of dog she had - "she's NOT a dog!" she informed me. "she's my baby girl!")
- the woman who left her toddler's poop-filled diaper in the bathroom sink.
- the man who growled at me "don't you understand english?!?" when i asked him to clarify what his drink order was (he wanted a caramel frappuccino but was asking for a 'caramello flurry')
- the partner who spilled mocha in the milk fridge but blamed it on the manager (uh, hello! the manager didn't work this weekend!)
- the jerk who ran off with one of our tip jars.

things that put a smile on my face this weekend:

- finding out kick ass newbie was covering one of the talker's shifts.
- a visit from one of my old bux regulars.
- the customer who brought us a box of krispy kreme donuts.
- the teenagers that picked up after themselves and told us to have a good night when they left the store.
- the woman who thanked me for always making her drinks the correct way.
- being sent home early on a sunday afternoon!

partner rant: why is it so hard to rinse the frappuccino lid after every use? why must you throw it in the sink and leave it there to get covered in milk and frappuccino guts? doesn't it bug you to have to fish out the dirty lid from the bottom of the sink every time you need to make another frappuccino? don't you realize how much time and effort is wasted by not rinsing it right away? do you like making extra work for yourself or do you just expect other partners to clean up after you?

(not) movin' on up

in my experience bux has generally been good about offering promotions to its partners. most the managers and assistant managers i've worked with have been promoted from within, and honestly i believe bux prefers to promote their partners rather than hiring outside the company.
unfortunately, they pay external management hires several thousand dollars more than internally hired management. and if a particular store manager sucks, then a deserving barista might have to wait several months before they get their deserved promotion. so although there are distinct exceptions to the rule - bux is usually very good about developing their partners for promotion.

now, i bring all this up because i have (again) been approached about moving up within the company. and i'll be honest - i do my little "oh gee, really? wow, that might be fun. too bad my schedule can't handle that right now. try me again in another six months" because my district manager is VERY aggressive about promoting people.
why?
because every time my district manager "develops a partner to the next level" more money shows up on DM's paycheck.
i seriously dislike district managers that push promotions so they can make more money. i've seen it time and again - a partner gets pressured into making the jump and they end up overwhelmed (and underpaid in my opinion), unhappy and eventually quit or step down - and all because the DM wants to pad their paycheck.

i also have no interest in being promoted because i have no interest in moving up.
seriously.
i like my lack of responsibility and my chosen schedule. as soon as i accept a promotion i will have little to no choice on where i'll work, or what hours i'll have to put in. what i love about my job is that IT works around ME.
of course i can't say that to my manager or district manager. and of course i have to play the game and act as if i'm honored they've considered me for a promotion, because if i don't do my little song and dance my hours will magically disappear, or i'll be micromanaged to the point of madness.
i've been told before: "bux doesn't like career baristas".
well, i don't know if bux doesn't like them, but my district manager CERTAINLY doesn't.
and sure, i like the fact that if needed i can get a promotion at bux. i just don't see it happening any time in the future.

partner rant: i didn't steal your friggen' apron! i already let you examine mine to see if your initials were printed anywhere on it! so don't get pissy because someone walked off with yours, because we've already established that "someone" wasn't me! and don't make stupid comments like "well, there's that color-safe bleach that gets ink stains out, so maybe SOMEONE bleached my initials off my apron". yeah, i walked into work, stole your apron, stopped time so that i could go home and bleach out your initials, started time again and then denied i had your apron. grow up and learn to take better care of your belongings.

raise your hand! who likes me?

there's a barista at my bux who i'm not entirely fond of. we've never had harsh words or anything along those lines - we just have very different styles of dealing with customers, managers and fellow baristas.

now, i RARELY work with this bitter barista, and the times our shifts have overlapped there's been relatively little drama - although she's curt with her fellow baristas, has almost no patience with customers and kisses an insane amount of manager ass. but when she's off the clock she's sweeter than saccharine.

now, i don't go for that "i'm going to be a right turd while we work together but after i punch out we can totally hang" mentality. in my opinion, if you can be polite and respectful when you're having fun, you're capable of being that way while you earn your paycheck. apparently bitter barista feels she isn't paid enough (and customer don't tip enough) for her to have a pleasant attitude. the sad thing is - her bad attitude rubs off on almost everyone around her (customers included).

but here's the crazy thing:
bitter barista wants to win the (non-existent) popularity contest.
so every time a barista says "i love working with you, brat." - bitter barista gets pissed.
each time a customer asks "where've you been, brat? i've missed you" - bitter barista huffs.
and when perky assistant manager says "i'm so excited you're working my shift today, brat!" - bitter barista pouts.

so now bitter barista watches my every move, hoping i'll majorly eff something up. and this weekend she thought she finally hit paydirt.

"brat was on bar today and this woman walked up to her and said 'can i have my lattes now?' and brat gave them to the lady without charging her." bitter barista told our manager (in front of the talker - no less).
"when? you mean this morning?" our manager asked her.
"yeah - she did it right when you were on the floor." bitter barista was hoping i'd get in trouble.
"that lady had already paid for those drinks. " manager told her. "she just wanted to wait until her husband showed up before her drinks were made."

the talker quickly relayed the conversation to me and all i could do was roll my eyes. thankfully it will be another two weeks before i work with bitter barista.
i can hardly wait.

customer rant: i've waited patiently in line. i haven't been pushy or rude. so why the hell did you start to take the order of the lady behind me when it was my turn to order? just because she's a pushy bitch doesn't mean you give her a pass to the front of the line. take care of the customer in front of you first, ok?

wanton whims

i can't believe with all the hours i work that i've been fortunate to have dealt with mr. whim only twice before yesterday.
in fact, i had a vague recollection about there being a problem with his drink the last time i'd helped him, but it didn't really stick out in my mind. well - after yesterday's experience he will NOT be soon forgotten.

it all started so innocuously: i was on bar, happily making drinks, when i came across mr. whim's grande latte. now, there were no special markings on the cup - just the normal vertical slash in the drink box, so i was quite surprised when he came back three minutes later to tell me there was a problem with his drink.

but wait.
i'm getting a bit ahead of myself.

mr. whim is one of those people who believes - no matter how many people's drinks come before his - that he has the god-given right to stand directly in front of the hand-off counter while he waits for his drink. of course, he plops a newspaper on the counter to read while he waits for his drink (mind you, he doesn't pay for the paper - he just believes he has the right to read it while he waits) making it difficult for other people to pick-up their drinks once they've been called out.
when mr. whim's drink is ready he'll act as if he didn't hear you call it three times and continue to read his paper. when he's done with the comics section he's ready for a bathroom break, and only after he's done relieving his bladder he'll come get his drink.

of course there will ALWAYS be something wrong with his drink.

"there's too much foam on this." mr. whim told me after taking a sip of his latte.
"oh, i'm sorry." i raised my eyebrows in surprise. "it didn't say 'easy foam' on the cup."
"i didn't want 'easy foam' - i wanted the regular amount. you put too much on." he said - all the while flipping through a new section of the paper.
"ok, i can take some of the foam off - "
"forget it. just give me an iced latte instead."

so after i gave him an iced version of his drink, the talker pulled me aside and said "that's mr. whim! he always tells us to remake his drink!".

turns out mr. whim is NEVER happy with his drink. and every time there's a different problem: not hot enough, too hot, not enough foam, tastes weird, feels too light, etc., etc. sometimes he wants us to remake the exact drink the same way we made it in the first place. other times he wants something totally different. next time i see him at the hand-off counter i'll make sure he signs off on every part of the drink making process: "the temperature is 160 - is that ok? i'm about to put the foam on top - let me know how much you want, ok?"

hopefully then i won't have to cater to his whims.

barista rant: please listen to me when i ask you a question! especially when the question is: "do you want this blended like a milkshake, or do you want ice cubes in it?" because it's REALLY annoying when you look at your drink and say "oops! i meant i wanted the blended one!" after you assured me two minutes earlier that you wanted ice cubes in your drink.

put up your dukes!

nothing gets my morning going like two customers ready to throw down.

apparently someone had a serious case of road rage (parking lot rage, maybe?) and a few honks and rude gestures were not adequate enough methods to let off steam. so when customer A came into my bux, customer B was on her scent.

customer A: "give me a tall soy latte."
barista buddy: "ok, anything else today?"
customer A: "yeah, give me a cheese danish - "
customer B: "you maniac! you almost killed me out there!"
customer A: "lady, i already apologized to you."
barista buddy: "ok, your total is - "
customer B: "i'm going to report you - you maniac! i bet you don't even have a valid license!"
barista buddy: "uh, ma'am. can you settle this outside after she gets her coffee?"
customer B: "oh, just because she's spending money here means she's allowed to drive however she wants? what, is she mrs. starbucks or something?"
barista buddy: "uh, no. we just can't have yelling in here."
customer B: "i was almost killed! you expect me to be calm when i almost died because of her!"
customer A: "oh, you are so over-reacting. you were in my blind spot, that's all. as soon as you honked i quit changing lanes."
customer B: "my two children were in the car with me! you could have killed us all!"
barista brat: "ma'am, i understand you're upset but i can't have you yelling in here."
customer B: "of course i'm upset! i have an infant and a toddler and she almost killed us all!"
customer A: "oh please, if you're so concerned about your kids why did you leave them in the car to come yell at me?"
customer B: "fuck you! you maniac!"

and with that last poetic cry of injustice she stormed out of the store.
not a minute later we heard her revving her engine and peeling out of the parking lot.
"and i'm supposed to be the maniac" customer A laughed before leaving.

partner rant: please don't spend the entire shift whining about the write-up you just received for constantly being late. please don't turn your ten-minute break into a fifteen-minute break because you were on the phone complaining to your boyfriend about said write-up. and please don't ask the rest of us baristas to try and convince the manager that he should "erase" the write-up.

return of the butterfly

remember butterfly?
well, she's back and more bizarre than ever. apparently she believes she gained some weight over the holidays so instead of her usual 'rainbow water' she's now ordering 'diet water' - which means she wants three pumps of sugar-free vanilla, three pumps of sugar-free hazelnut, three pumps of sugar-free cinnamon dolce and five splendas added to her iced water.
she also believes she needs to burn more calories so she's been rollerblading up and down the sidewalk in front of bux while she sips on her diet water. some customers started to ask us about the homeless child outside and we explain that she's not homeless, she's just very eccentric.
"but she's asking people for spare change." one of our regulars informed us.
so out of the goodness of my perky assistant manager's heart, she went outside to talk with butterfly.

"honey, you really shouldn't be panhandling out here." perky assistant manager had her caring voice on. "it's not safe to talk to random strangers."
"but i'm bored out here by myself." butterfly answered while rollerblading in circles around my assistant manager.
"well, you know you can come sit inside the store while you wait for your mom. i think she'd like that better than you asking people for money."
"but i like asking people for money." was butterfly's answer.
"well, i think it's much safer if you just sit inside the store instead of rollerblading out here."
"can i have a free refill on my diet water - for free?" butterfly asked, ignoring the words of perky assistant manager.
"well...if i give you a free refill will you quit asking strangers for money?"

of course butterfly complied, but now she thinks perky assistant manager is her new best friend. she expects free diet water every time she rollerblades into the store and reminds us all that "the assistant manager said i could have it for free!" - even when perky assistant manager isn't working.

i'm sure it's just a matter of time before butterfly will expect free pastries and sandwiches. i'm also sure she's not quite as daft as she makes herself appear, but in fact she's actually very manipulative.
i wonder how much longer perky assistant manager will put up with butterfly's behaviour.

customer rant: believe it or not, i'm ok with the fact that you've run out of chai tea bags. what i'm NOT ok with is that you neglected to tell me this and instead gave me a cup of earl grey tea with a pump of chai concentrate. when i called you on it you said - "oh, well that's practically the same thing". after i informed that it isn't anywhere near the same and requested a plain earl grey tea instead, you muttered "are you really going to make me open a new tea bag?".
yes.
yes i am.

fight the power

i didn't realize how much of a treat my store was in for when amorous newbie was transferred to us.

i should probably refer to her by a new name because she has been anything but loving. besides continually bickering with the talker, she's also managed to piss off quite a few customers.
oh.
and yesterday she argued with a cop.

the-newbie-formally-know-as-amorous has quite a short fuse. she's either suffering from chronic pms or she's just an outright bitch. the only time she cracks a smile is when she thinks it will help her get something she wants. like when she wanted me to cover the last half of her shift so that she could get a pedicure. or when a customer mentioned he was a photographer and she wanted him to shoot her headshots for free.
NFKAA also has a bizarre sense of entitlement. she's argued more than once with perky assistant manager about being on register ("i don't feel like talking to customers today") and she's also tried to pawn off her cleaning duties on the other newbies ("you're the low man on the totem pole since you're newer than me so you have to clean the bathroom"). NFKAA believes rules apply to everyone but her - which is why she argued with the cop.

i guess NFKAA was sick of having to leave her car at the employee section of the parking lot and decided she was deserving of a better space. well, since all the spots directly in front of bux where already occupied she parked in the closest space she could find - ignoring the painting of a stick figure in a wheelchair.

not ten minutes into her shift and a cop came into our store.
"anyone here own that white civic in the parking lot?" the cop asked the customers in the lobby.
"oh, it's mine." NFKAA smiled at the cop. "i'm gonna move it when a better space opens up."
"you need to move it now. you can't park in the disabled spot unless you have a placard." the cop told her sternly. i was disappointed that he wasn't writing up a ticket for her.
"it's not like anyone ever uses that spot," she said flippantly. "i'll move it in a few minutes."
"no, you're going to move it now or you're going to get a ticket."

we thought that was the end of it until we saw NFKAA still arguing with the cop outside after she'd moved her car.
how much you want to bet she'll park in the disabled spot again?

barista rant: if you can't be bothered to quit talking into your cell phone when ordering your latte, i can't be bothered to call it out repeatedly while you're still gabbing. i won't remake it either when you complain that it's not hot enough - since you waited until your call was over to pick it up. maybe you should stick to one task at a time.

all about the benjamins

i had a bit of a revelation this weekend.

it all began yesterday morning. kick ass newbie (i'm really going to have to find a new name for her because she is way too good to be called 'newbie') was on register while i was rebrewing coffee, stocking cups and filling the pastry case. everything was going smoothly until i heard a customer scream out "this is FUCKING ridiculous!"
"i'm sorry ma'am but - " kick ass newbie was doing her best to keep the customer calm but the lady interrupted her with more screaming.
"don't give me this bullshit!"
"i'm sorry, but - "
"oh just SHUT UP! where's the damn manager?" bitch lady screamed again.

now it is never acceptable to yell at a barista in this manner. especially when the barista is only doing her job.

"is there something i can help you with?" i asked, knowing i could better handle the wrath of bitch lady.
"she won't give me change for this!" bitch lady held up a 100 dollar bill.
"i'm sorry but we can't give change for bills that large." i told her honestly.
"this is BULLSHIT!" she yelled again. "are you telling me that in this whole store there isn't change for a 100?"
"we don't have enough money in our tills to give you change." i told her calmly. "but i think the store next door might be able to change that out for you."
"well i'm not FUCKING next door, am i?" she was still holding up the bill, as if her profanity would instantly make me change my mind.
"i'm sorry but we can't give you change for that." i said in a very nice tone.
"i don't accept your damn apology!" she screamed at me as i walked away from her.
"well, i tried my best!" i smiled.
"your best isn't fucking good enough!" she yelled as she huffed her way out the door.

two customers who'd been waiting in line tipped us extra for having to put up with bitch lady and complimented me for the way i handled her. kick ass newbie thanked me for intervening and when perky assistant manager heard about the incident she said "damn brat! you're way the hell nicer than i would've been!"

which is where my little revelation came in.

i was nice yesterday. nicer than i would've been six months ago, and i realize the reason bitch lady customers don't set me off like they used to is because of this blog and because of those of you who read it.
it's true, since i now have an outlet for my frustrations at bux, i'm a much calmer barista. when i read your comments telling me that you're better customers because of my rants it inspires me to be a better barista.

so, thank you.
because without this blog and without you readers i probably would've decked her one.

barista rant: don't get pissed at me because you didn't get away with your scam. yeah, i know you want cash for the cd you've just handed me (and most likely stole from another bux) but that doesn't mean i'm going to ignore policy. if fact i don't know of ANY business that gives cash on returns without a receipt. telling me that "the other bux" gave you cash on your return won't convince me, either.

paying for pleasure

at least once a week a customer asks me "why doesn't starbucks have those 'buy ten drinks get the eleventh for free' cards?" and the simple answer is "because they don't have to."

and it's true.
starbucks doesn't hand out the eleventh drink for free because they know people are more than willing to pay for it. the whole point behind these sort of coupons is to encourage repeat business, not to reward a loyal customer.
heartbreaking, isn't it?

some of you may recall the coupons we handed out last year for free iced tall drinks. that was around the same time our stock was decreasing in value. during the summer we had a spike in frappuccino sales - but as i've ranted about before, frappuccinos are labor intensive. so much so that it was making a noticeable difference in our usual profits. to combat this corporate decided to have us baristas hand out coupons to encourage customers to order iced espresso drinks rather than ice blended drinks.

did the plan work?
well, not at the bux i worked at. people still ordered their frappuccinos but added an extra drink on the side.

i'm guessing it will be a long while before starbucks hands out the free drinks again.

customer rant: i appreciate the fact that you wipe the excess whipped cream off the cups before you hand them out. honestly, i do. but licking your fingers clean afterward is going too far. next time use a paper towel - or better yet: be a neater barista.

different bux - still sux

today i covered a shift at a different bux.
now, i usually try to avoid working at other stores because a) i hate being in someone else's "kitchen" b) i hate having customers look me up and down, saying "oh, you must be new" and c) nine times out of ten i will be scheduled with their resident pariah.
how lucky that i experienced "a", "b" and "c" today!

because the store has a completely different layout from my own, i stayed on bar. that, of course, brought on it's own series of problems. regulars who were shocked/appalled at seeing a not-so familiar face would quiz me on drink recipes as i handed them their drinks.
"here's your grande nonfat caramel macchiato. thank you!"
"this is my caramel macchiato?" they would ask, pretending i didn't JUST call out their drink to them. "did you make sure to put nonfat milk in it?"
"yes, that's your nonfat caramel macchiato." i would repeat.
"and it has two shots of espresso in it?"
"yes, grande caramel macchiatos come with two shots."
"and you put the caramel drizzle on top?"
"yes, i put the caramel drizzle on top."
"and cinnamon powder?"
"uh, that drink doesn't get cinnamon powder." i tried my best not to sound snippy.
"yeah, i know. i was just testing you."

but the worst part of my shift was working with ms. over-explainer.
now, i thought i had it bad with the talker, but i now realize this store has it waaaaay worse.
"do you know how to work the espresso bar?" she asked me after i'd ALREADY been making drinks for an hour. "because some people don't really know. here - let me show you. this button you push for one shot of espresso. this button you push for two shots - "
"i know how to work bar." i told her and went to rinse a milk pitcher.
"oh, that's good that you rinse the pitchers because most people don't do that. i've told them over and over again that you have to rinse the pitchers but they don't. every single day there are people who don't rinse the pitchers and i tell the manager, but she doesn't really do anything about it."
at that point i just walked away from her and started making drinks again.
"you better make sure you fill the beans!" she pointed to the hopper that was still three-fourths filled. "because if you don't keep them filled you'll get a message on the bar that tells you to fill it and you won't be able to pull any shots until you fill it with beans. and then you won't be able to make drinks because you can't pull shots because there are no beans. so make sure you keep that hopper filled, ok? because if you don't you can't pull shots."

of course she didn't just over-explain bar procedure. she over-explained how to wash your hands, how to empty the trash, how to put pastries in bags, how to sweep, how to hand change back to customers and how to punch out for lunch.
i'm giving myself brownie points for not telling her to shut her trap. and i'm also making a pledge to never work at that bux again.

partner rant: it is not ok - at ANY time - to take someone's jacket without their permission and wear it while you smoke a cigarette outside. it doesn't matter that it's cold. it doesn't matter that you forgot to bring your own jacket. it doesn't matter that the other barista didn't rip you a new one when you pulled this stunt with her. don't. do. it. EVER!

mocha mudslides

i received a MUG award tonight - and it was well deserved!

actually the closing shift started off great. for a change the mid-day crew had turned over a great shift and it looked like it would be smooth sailing for the night.
but then murphy's law was in full effect and we had to spend the last two hours playing catch up.

it all started when my fellow barista brat decided to be nice and make an extra bar mocha for the morning crew. since the mocha is mixed with hot water we set it aside for about an hour before we store it in the refrigerator (the mocha doesn't thicken until it's been cooling for a few hours). so, as my fellow brat was placing the newly mixed mocha on the counter, she lost her grip on the container and ended up coating the counter, cabinets and floor with chocolate. instead of freaking out she said "it's a good thing it wasn't milk or i'd be crying" and laughed. we spent the next twenty minutes wiping the area clean and re-mopping the floor.

then our barista buddy tripped in the backroom and sprained his ankle. after filling out an incident report form he hobbled home - leaving just two of us to finish closing the store. we were still good on time so i made another mocha for the morning crew. but fellow barista brat had a major case of the clumsies and knocked the passion iced tea container into the ice bin - which meant we had to empty out the ice, clean the bin, and then fill it up again.

as i was putting the last bit of ice in the bin a regular informed fellow brat that the toilet was overflowing in the bathroom. apparently some customer decided to use ten toilet seat covers at once. i managed to fix the toilet and mop the floor in record time. when it came time to lock the door we figured we were safe from anymore problems - that is until fellow brat put the mocha in the refrigerator. like i said before - she had a case of the clumsies and ended up spilling the mocha all over the inside of the fridge. my only reaction was to laugh. we ended up finishing our shift without any other incidents, and my fellow brat gave me a MUG award for my mopping skills.

thank goodness our customers were well behaved because i'm sure i would have done bodily harm to the first person who got lippy.

barista rant: don't ask me to give you a discount on our valentine's day merchandise - especially when january is only halfway over. don't complain that our mugs are overpriced, or that the chocolate isn't as good as see's chocolate. no one is forcing you to buy our merchandise and no matter how much you whine i will NOT reduce the price.

crazy is as crazy does

there are a few kinds of crazy when it comes to customers.

there's the certifiably insane: people who really do have mental problems but have enough social skills to order a cup of coffee.
there's the manic crazies: people that are happy, but are clearly existing on their own planet.
and of course there's the wtf?!? crazies (unfortunately the most common crazy affliction we see at bux).

wtf crazies are the most dangerous sort. they are ticking time bombs and anything can set them off. so far this week there's been an epidemic of wtf craziness and of course we baristas have been on the receiving end of undeserved insults.

wtf crazy person #1
- while i was at bar some middle-aged lady walked up to the serving counter and spat out "SOME of us have real jobs we have to get to!".
"i'm sorry, were you waiting for another drink?" i asked when i noticed she was already holding a starbucks cup in her hand.
"HELLO! i've been waiting for over ten minutes!" she lied.
"well, i don't have any drinks left to be made. what did you order?"
"i ordered a caramel!" she practically shrieked. "and i've been waiting fifteen minutes for it!" yet another lie.
"a caramel what?" i asked. "a caramel frappuccino or a caramel macchiato?"
"a caramel drink!" she shrieked again.
"we have more than one caramel drink." i pointed to the menu.
before she could could yell out "caramel" again, the register partner walked over to the bar and said "ma'am, you ordered a tall drip with caramel syrup."
"yes, i know!" she was fuming. "so where the hell is it?"
"uh, it's in your hand."
that's right, this lady was holding her drink the whole damn time. so did she apologize for being such a bitch? of course not! instead she growled, "i'm NEVER coming her ever again! this is the worst starbucks i've ever been to!" as she stomped out of the store.

wtf crazy person #2
- a woman came into bux with her baby strapped to her chest (i have no idea what those sari looking baby thingies are called) and ordered a passion iced tea. after picking up the tea she went into the bathroom, only to emerge five minutes later with a bright pink stain down the front of her baby strap.
"you guys are lucky this wasn't hot tea." she shook her finger at us. "i would sue all your asses off if this was hot tea!"
we offered to give her towels to help clean herself, as well as give her another tea.
"i don't want another tea! i want you to pay my cleaning bill." she pushed the clean towels back at us. "this is 100% silk!" she pointed to the baby strap thingie. "this was going to be a family heirloom but you've ruined it!"
and then she started crying.
and after she cried she blamed our uptight society for not allowing her to breastfeed in public (which i guess is why she ended up spilling her tea all over herself in the bathroom?) and then she started complaining that her back hurt from the baby strap thingie.

my fellow barista brat figured the lady must be suffering from postpartum depression, but i think she just had a case of the wtf's.

wtf crazy person #3
- high school student asks me "can you make a frappuccino that doesn't taste like a frappuccino?"
"i don't understand, do you not want it to taste like coffee because we have non-coffee frappuccinos."
"i just don't want it to taste like a frappuccino."
"what do you want it to taste like?"
"you know - good, just not frappuccino tasting." she informed me with a straight face.
when i then told her that it was impossible to make a frappuccino NOT taste like a frappuccino, she then asked for a hot chocolate that didn't taste like a hot chocolate. and when i told her that was impossible as well she whined and demanded to know why i was "making her life a living hell".
WTF?!?

barista rant: it is never, NEVER ok to help yourself to our tip jar. not even if you spotted the only state quarter missing from your collection - it will never be permissible to take the tip jar to your table to sift through it. and if you try it again i can't guarantee you'll make it out of the store unscathed.

whine and "geez!"

i've tried three times to write a post that didn't sound 100% negative and bitchy, but it's impossible. so instead i'll write up a wish list.

barista brat's (futile) wishes:
- i wish that my newly promoted manager would learn how to do the damn schedule so that we don't have to take our lunch breaks half an hour after we start our shifts.
- i wish the opening baristas would quit bitching about how busy their morning is when they have four more people on the floor than the closers and STILL can't manage to do their assigned tasks.
- i wish my district manager would take the time to learn the baristas' names rather than call out "hey, you over there".
- i wish bux would remember that it is impossible for one person to clean a drain, make a drink, and take out the trash all at the same time.
- i wish my fellow baristas weren't so damn messy when they're at bar.
- i wish i wouldn't have to stay an hour past my scheduled closing because i've spent my entire shift playing catch up (thanks for nothing, morning crew!).
- i wish our ceo would remember that we are a coffee shop and not a deli, bakery or sandwich shop.
- i wish customers would learn how to flush the toilet.
- i wish hear music would put out a decent cd more than once a year.
- i wish my bux stock would quit dropping.
- i wish bitter old dude would quit complaining that no one deserves a vacation more than he does.
- i wish the talker would transfer.
- i wish the mid shift crew would remember to stock, prep and clean.
- i wish my perky assistant manager would complete a task before starting three more.
- i wish my newly promoted manager would quit calling me on my days off to see if i can help out other stores in our district.
- i wish the best manager in the world was still my manager.
- wish i didn't have to have a wish list.

and one final wish:
- i wish my barista buddy didn't put in his two weeks notice tonight, although i can't blame him.
he's a closer and has finally had his fill of doing his work and then some. so he wrote up a "dear john" letter for the manager and now i can look forward to training another newbie.

see? i told you - negative and bitchy.

partner rant: i appreciate the fact that you're into healing the environment, but please be considerate to your fellow man and bathe a little more often. or at least invest in a good deodorant.

dumb and dumber

remember that overly amorous newbie who was being transferred to my bux because of her bizarre love triangle?
well, i was sure she and bitter old dude would be at each other's throats in seconds because bitter old dude is the resident drama queen and would rather die than share his crown, but imagine my surprise when amorous newbie first made enemies with...the talker!
seems they both suffer from that fatal disease: last word-itis (it's fatal because the rest of the baristas are going to kill them if they keep at it).

time has only increased the talker's delusions of popularity. he doesn't just follow baristas around and talk their heads off - now he's performing for us. he takes every chance to dazzle us with his biting (translation: dumb) wit and keen (translation: full of himself) perspective.
i was taking a ten in the backroom when he was restocking cups. now, most people come in the backroom, grab whatever sleeve of cups they need, and are back out on the floor in a matter of seconds. but not the talker.
"which one do i need - oh there are the grande cups! you little devils thought you were hiding from me didn't you? you can't hide from me! i'll hunt you down until i find every last one of you! wait, you're not a sleeve of grande cups! what's a sleeve of tall cups doing in the grande cup box? brat! this is so weird! i was stocking grande cups and there's a sleeve of tall cups hiding in the box!"

and that's the abridged version.

it's also why the rest of us don't try and get the last word in with the talker: because it would only invite another twenty pages of dialogue from him.
amorous newbie, on the other hand, can't live unless the last statement of a conversation comes from her lips, which the talker takes as a request for him to talk some more. so she hits him with another crude last word and he responds with a bitchy oratory.
believe me, it's a vicious cycle.

it's gotten so bad that newly promoted manager has threatened to send one or both of them home with write-ups.

so now their conversations sound like this:
the talker: "i'm not getting sent home because of you - i need all my hours."
amorous newbie: "what, like i don't need mine?"
the talker: "well, it's because of you that the manager has threatened to send us home."
amorous newbie: "yeah - like you're some innocent bystander."
the talker: "all i'm saying is i never had this problem before you were transferred here."
amorous newbie: "how i wish that was all you were saying. dude! you never shut your mouth."
the talker: "me? what about you? you talk more than anyone i've ever met."
amorous newbie: "well you should stand in front of a mirror and get self-acquainted."
the talker: "what? you don't even make sense!"
amorous newbie: "just because you don't get it doesn't mean i don't make sense."
the talker: "whatever. just quit talking to me. i don't want to get sent home because of you."
amorous newbie: "what, like i want to get sent home?"
and on, and on, and on....

barista rant: don't ask me to put "just a touch" of cinnamon powder in your latte, and then complain that i didn't add enough. first off - there's cinnamon powder at the condiment bar, so you should be the one adding it to your drink. second - what the hell do you think "just a touch" means? because when you twisted the top off the cinnamon powder container and dumped about an inch into your drink, i would suggest that is far more than "just a touch".

happy new year!

it's a new year but i have to post this old story (i CAN'T believe i never got around to it in 2006).

at my old bux there was a female customer we called "issues" - because she definitely had them, but also because she brought in four or five tabloid magazines to read while she hung out at our store. "issues" was clearly anorexic and had very odd habits when it came to her coffee.
she always ordered a tall cappuccino in a venti cup with whipped cream to the top (and no lid). then she would grab about ten equal packets and place them in a circle around her cup. starting with the packet closest to her, she would sprinkle the sugar substitute on top of the whipped cream and then use a wooden stirrer stick to spoon feed herself. one by one she would sprinkle the equal on the whipped cream and then slowly eat the topping.
never ONCE did she drink what was left in the cup. instead she left it on the table for us to throw away, as well as her old magazines and used equal packets.

"issues" was also very chatty and would talk our ears off about how hard it was to take care of her sick husband.
"oh brat, you have no idea how boring it is to visit him in the hospital!" she would complain.
my fellow baristas and i would cringe when she'd bitch about how his cancer was crimping her social life. one day she came in and said "now i have to cancel my vacation because the doctors gave my husband only a month to live."
well, her husband was a trooper because he held on for about three months. another barista was the one to tell me that "issues'" husband had passed on, so the next time i saw her i gave her my condolences.
"i know, i'm so upset," she sighed. "i haven't been on the market for ten years. i can't believe i'm going to have to do the whole dating thing again! i'm so not ready for that."

yeah. issues.

barista rant: i understand you wanted your coffee bright and early on new year's day, but we can't change our holiday hours just to accommodate you. even if you do have a long drive and promise to tip us a buck. throwing a hissy and telling us you're a shareholder won't change a thing, either. if you're really so desperate for caffeine at 5 am there's always 7-11.

cutting those apron strings

do you remember my rants about the newbie who, although a genuinely nice guy, couldn't remember how to mark cups, make drinks, or anything else necessary for a barista to remember?

well, he's back. and with a vengeance.
ok, that's not exactly true.
rephrase: his MOTHER is back with a vengeance.

a week before christmas this newbie informed my newly promoted manager that he wouldn't be able to work the shifts he'd been scheduled for because he was going out of town. now, policy hadn't changed between the time he was hired and when he had this talk with my manager. since he hadn't requested the time off in advance, it was now up to him to find coverage for his shifts. reluctantly he spent ten minutes on the phone leaving messages for our fellow baristas asking them to work the week before christmas.

so, instead of trying to call partners at other stores he decides to call - wait for it..... his MOTHER.
yes, newbie called his mommie. was it to vent his frustration? was it to inform her that he'd be late for dinner? no, he called so that she could inform my manager that her precious son had more pressing things to do rather than call around for coverage.
seriously.
he called his mother, filled her in on the situation, and then told my manager that someone wanted to talk to him about the schedule.

thank god we found coverage for his shifts since we were already understaffed. but here comes the best part: his mother called our manager this morning. why? because newbie now needs new year's eve off! AND he's too busy to call around for coverage!
my manager tried to sweet talk me into working a double shift ("think of the overtime, brat!") but i happily declined.

this newbie and his mother took me back to a time at my old bux where (yet another) newbie had her mother call in for her.
see, this newbie was scheduled to open, but never made it to the store. the opening manager called newbie's house and left a message - concerned that something bad might have happened. twenty minutes later there's a phone call.

"hi, this is newbie's mother." said the caller.
"is newbie ok?" the opening manager asked.
"well, she didn't get much sleep last night so i turned her alarm off."
"you know she was scheduled to open this morning, right?"
"yes, but i don't want her going to work that early. so i'm calling to tell you she quits and won't be coming in again."

that's right.
newbie's mother mother called in and gave the manager -20 minutes notice.
so long as her daughter got a full night's rest.....

customer rant: i know you're probably frustrated because you have a line out the door, but yelling out "i hate my fucking job!" isn't the best way to get sympathy tips. and really - if you hate it so much, then LEAVE! no one's holding you hostage.

boxing (with customers) day

the only thing worse than activating a billion gift cards right before christmas is having every customer use them to purchase coffee the day after.

the cards are supposed to make the process easier for both the customer and the register partner, but often times the transaction takes longer. throughout the day our system will go offline which forces us to redial over and over, or the computers will show their age and take forever to process the cards.
but let's not forget the human component: those customers who have no idea how much is on their card will hold up the line while they look for spare change to cover the cost of their drink, as well as the customers who try and spend the entire amount of their card in one sitting and will add random items one after the other until the card is empty.

and of course there are the customers who demand we give them cash value for their unwanted gift cards. somehow they think that if they give us a big enough sob story, we'll break down and hand over the cash.

so not going to happen.

today i heard everything from "my car needs a new engine" to "i need money to get into rehab". but my personal favorite was this one: "i really need the cash - this isn't even my card. i stole it from my uncle".
a couple of customers even tried to toss their cards in our tip jar and take out the cash equivalent though, of course, none were successful.
it was nice, however, to hear customers lament that there was no way to tip us with their cards - and even nicer when they dug through their wallets to toss a dollar into our tip jar.

barista rant: yes, i know christmas is over. yes, i realize we still have a ton of christmas merchandise. yes, i know that even though it is all marked down there is still an abundance, but that doesn't mean you can demand i give you an extra 50% off. and trust me, phrases like "well, you should just give it to me for free since it's the day after christmas!" will only make me want to raise the price.

*barista rave*: thank you all for your comments to the last post! it was my favorite christmas gift by far.

barista brat is coming to town

no rants today.
instead i submit my naughty and nice lists.

NAUGHTY
- my newly promoted manager for royally screwing up the holiday weekend schedule.
- the woman who stole our cinnamon shaker from the condiment bar.
- the partner who did the world's worst job cleaning the frappuccino section, so that it took me twice as long to clean it tonight.
- corporate for sending us waaaaaay too much merchandise.
- the customer who asked me to call all the bux in a "ten-mile radius" to look for a particular mug, then demanded her coffee be free because my store no longer had the mug in stock.
- the talker, who spent most of his shift yesterday talking about what his family does for christmas rather than doing his work.
- all the customers who are "re-gifting" their gift cards (making us split up a gift card that was given to them into multiple gift cards for other people).
- my district manager who gave us all the stinkeye while we were working our understaffed butts off.
- the customer who felt he deserved a fifty percent discount because it was "christmas eve eve".
- barista brat, because when i ran out of regular frappuccino base i decided to give everyone decaf instead.

NICE
- the customer who brought in cupcakes for us baristas.
- the newbie who gave 200% every shift she was on this week.
- the woman who handed out lottery tickets as stocking stuffers.
- our regular customers who kept smiles on their faces even though the line was out the door and we were a person short.
- my fellow barista brat's fiance who brought us pizza and soda.
- the two baristas who closed with me and helped make tonight's close so much fun.
- the readers of this blog!

if you feel like giving this barista brat a christmas gift, it would be great if you could drop by the comments box and tell me where you hail from.

merry christmas and happy holidays!

six holiday tales

thank goodness for a relaxing day off because i will not have another one until christmas day.

more tales from this past weekend:

- a customer brought in his travel mug and asked us to rinse it out before filling it with coffee. when my fellow barista brat peeked inside the mug her stomach turned. stuck to the bottom of the mug was a dead cockroach. a friggen' COCKROACH! i don't know what grosses me out more: that the roach was in his cup or that he was still willing to drink from it when the barista pointed it out to him.

- a woman was shopping for gift packs but refused our offers to hold the merchandise for her at the front counter. instead she was content to carry it all herself, adding more mugs and pounds of coffee to the mix. so, while she was was examining the ceramic mugs and matching saucers, she lost her grip on the merchandise and it all came crashing down, knocking over the display of ceramic mugs and saucers. in the end three sets were broken. did she apologize? no, she blamed us for not better securing the display.

- a regular customer who is known to be a complainer handed out ten dollar bills to all the baristas. he even gave us a big smile as he wished us "happy hanukkah - or christmas - or whatever it is you celebrate".

- a man admitted he'd made a mess in the bathroom and asked us for a toilet brush because he didn't feel right making us clean it up.

- a customer held up the line while buying fifteen gift cards. he ended up adding on four more cards (each for five dollars) to give to the four customers that had to wait in line behind him.

i'm mentally preparing myself for the craziness of the next few days. i have to close christmas eve but i'm working with a great crew so hopefully it will be happy and not horrendous.

partner rant: i'm busy at bar, so quit trying to talk to me! you see i have a line of ten drinks - and it's true i kicked you off of double barring with me because you actually slow me down. but that wasn't an invitation to hover around me and talk about what you hope your parents will get you for christmas! earn your paycheck and do something useful!

same school, different attitude

i'm taking a well-deserved day off after a crazy weekend at bux.

on friday two local high schools had their last day of class before winter break, so they decided to inaugurate their freedom by running wild in bux. it was COLD outside but that didn't stop them from ordering their frappuccinos with extra syrup, extra caramel, and extra annoyance.

three of the teenagers are regular fixtures at our bux. they are always a little too loud and squeal a little too often, but for the most part the aren't much trouble. apparently they've rubbed some of their fellow students the wrong way because these girls have become targets.

well, at least their drinks are.

my bux was not designed to be a high volume store, so the area at the hand-off counter gets very crowded when there is more than two people waiting for their drinks. usually people have to wait a bit before they can even come get their drinks because the store gets so crowded. it seems a couple of teenagers have used this to their advantage and have taken drinks from the counter before the rightful owners can come claim them.

frappuccino bandits, we call them.

well, for the second time this month our three regular teenaged customers have been victims of the frappuccino bandits. since it was their last day of class, and since they are the least annoying of our teenaged "guests", i gave them each one of the morning pastries that had to be marked out. the girls were so thrilled they showered me with a chorus of "awwww, you're sooooooo nice!".

to my (and the other baristas') surprise, the girls took turns and stuffed money in our tip jar. they ended up tipping us a total of fourteen dollars.
fourteen dollars!
just because we made an attempt to make them feel better after the frappucccino bandits raided them. i tell you, that extra cash helped make them seem a lot less annoying.

barista rant: yes, it's the holiday season. yes, i know you want to purchase several gift cards. yes, i know you've received a few gift cards of your own as well. but did you know there was a solid line of people behind you? it was bad enough you wanted me to check the balance on all the cards you'd received. but then you wanted me to consolidate all your cards into one. and THEN you wanted me to take that card and use it to pay for the 20 gift cards you now wanted to purchase. are you kidding me?!? next time i'll just say the network is down and i can't do anything with gift cards.

many happy returns

'tis the season to turn new tricks!

i'm lucky to be in a small store where our retail shelves are directly across from the registers. that means it's harder for people to steal mugs, cups and french presses they will try and return for cash at other stores. that doesn't mean they don't make an attempt, though.

last night i noticed a guy pacing back and forth in front of my bux. he kept peeking his head through the door but never actually decided to come inside. it wasn't until we had a rush that i noticed him at the back of the line. when he made it to the register he handed me two travel mugs.

"i got these yesterday but now i don't want them." he informed me. "i left my receipt at home but i paid cash."

now usually at this point i have to go through the motions of telling the customer what our return policy is, yadda, yadda, yadda - but since i'd seen him checking out our store for twenty minutes (minus the two travel mugs, mind you) i knew he'd waited until there were people in the store so he wouldn't be so conspicuous when he grabbed the mugs. since i knew what the game was, and since there was still a long line behind him, all i did was point to our security camera. apparently that was enough because he walked right out of the store, leaving the two travel mugs on the counter.

then there was the lady who really wanted a cup off coffee, but REALLY didn't want to pay for it. she started off by trying to chat me up - telling me about her troubles (her mother is terminally ill), about her business (she sells houses), about her kid (he hates math) and about her boyfriend (he shut off her cell service because they had an argument). when i wasn't completely won over by her charming repartee she switched tactics and gave me the full run-down of her last horrible experience at bux (the barista was rude, the coffee was cold and she was overcharged).

"dollar fifty-five, please" was my response after listening to her drone on and on.
"oh!" she seemed almost surprised that i'd asked her for money. "well, i know i have a gift card here somewhere." she said as she started digging through her gigantic bag.

first she pulled out her planner to show me how busy she is. then she pulled out her business card holder to show me how many contacts she has. next came a ziploc baggie containing costume jewelry, which she then modeled and offered to sell to me. finally she located her wallet and pulled out the gift card, but then she started talking about the jewelry and put the gift card BACK into her wallet which she put BACK into her bag!

"i could give you a really good deal on these rings," she smiled at me.
i smiled right back and repeated, "dollar fifty-five".
"it's somewhere in my bag," she began digging again.
"it's in your wallet behind your discover card," i said flatly, ready to pull it out for her.

she finally handed over the card, but of course there less than a dollar balance. when i asked her if she had any cash she gave me a repeat performance of "the amazing endless bag search".

my perky assistant manager ended up giving me a mug award for my tireless patience.

barista rant: do not pick up the toys in the donated gift basket, hand them to me and ask if i have any more left in the back. bux is not a toy store. we have never sold super-soakers or leggos. when i explained that the basket in front of you is for DONATIONS, you pursed your lips and bitched that there should be some sort of sign. so of course i pointed to the sign, to which your only response was "give me the directions to the nearest toy shop".
lump of coal for you, woman!

enemy mine

after several months of a peaceful truce, there is now hatred where there was once love. menacing glares which were once kind eyes and stinging vitriol when there was once glowing praise.

have the baristas finally rallied against the managers?
have the buddies turned sour toward the brats?
have the newbies resorted to brandishing the pointy ends of thermometers as protection against the old-schoolers?

no.
no.
and no.

history is repeating itself and now there is a full-fledged war between the openers and the closers with both sides bitching that the other doesn't do their required duties.

now i admit that i'm a little biased. i close once or twice a week and i know how much work the closers put into making sure the store is broken down, cleaned and stocked. closers have all the responsibilities of the day crew (serving customers and prepping) AND then some.

so when the openers don't do their set duties, it piles on the work for the closers and they have to stay past their scheduled shifts to complete their tasks (i've gone into overtime too often because the day crew has turned over crappy shifts). if the day has been particularly rough, then the closers might forget to fill the ice bin or empty the sanitizer. these, according to the openers, are cardinal sins. the openers will be so offended that they will spend the day complaining and will
'run out of time' to do their duties, which in turn adds more work for the closers. which of course means they will have to stay later and probably miss another closing duty, like stocking pounds of coffee or filling the sugar containers.

see? it's a vicious circle that polarizes the two sides until management intervention is required. my store is about two weeks away from one-on-one meetings with the manager and threats to be written up.

have a holly jolly christmas, indeed.

customer rant: not only is it against health code to resteam milk over and over - it's downright disgusting! when i saw you checking milk temperatures, then resteaming milk that had cooled down - i convinced my friend to stick with drip coffee instead of getting a latte. but with your standards the coffee was probably two hours old as well.

call me, crazy

for the past four days my bux has been bombarded with prank phone calls. for whatever reason, some person is getting their jollies by calling my bux and asking ridiculous questions.

"what color is your atmosphere?" a heavily accented voice asked when my perky assistant manager answered the phone.
"excuse me?" perky assistant manager wasn't sure if she heard him correctly.
"what color is your atmosphere?" he asked again
"i'm sorry but i think you have the wrong number."
"WHAT. COLOR. IS. YOUR. ATMOSPHERE." he screamed at her.
"i'm hanging up now," perky assistant manager said before ending the call.

an hour later the phone rang again and this time i answered.
"how old is the glass?" asked the accented voice that i assumed had called earlier.
"four hundred thirty-two." i informed him and hung up.
apparently my method worked because he didn't call back for the rest of the night.
the next night, however, he was back to his old tricks. he called so many times that perky assistant manager told me she had to leave the phone off the hook.

last night when he called my barista buddy was the lucky person to pick up the phone.
"how cold is the toilet?" mr. prank asked.
"how old is the toilet?" barista buddy asked, deciding to play along with mr. prank.
"how cold is the toilet?" mr. prank repeated.
"how bold is the toilet?"
"HOW. COLD. IS. THE. TOILET."
"how gold is the toilet?" barista buddy was laughing now.
"you stupid bitch man! i get knife and i will cut!" mr. prank threatened, but barista buddy just hung up on him and turned the ringer off.

so tonight when i answered the phone and heard "what airplane is inside?" i responded with an "operator, this is the call we want traced. how soon will the police be there?".
amazingly mr. prank was the one to hang up and didn't call back for the rest of the night. we'll see if he wants to ask us more questions tomorrow.

barista rant: i fully expected the "i want a soy eggnog latte" requests, but i was not anticipating the "gimme an eggnog latte, but don't make it sweet" demand. when i informed you that eggnog is made with sugar, and there is no way to make it "not sweet" you huffed and said "i get it unsweetened all the time!". stupidly i tried to explain, yet again, that there was no way i could make your drink unsweetened. you rolled your eyes and asked for the manager. when he told you the very same thing you responded with a smile and said "oh! i didn't realize they were already sweetened. thanks for letting me know!".
may that eggnog go straight to your butt.

bizarre love triangle

this week we have news of more district shuffling. this time it's not management drama - it's love trauma.

it's bux policy that lovers should not work in the same store - but it happens.
a lot.
when it does (or actually, when other people find out) one of the lovers must find another store to transfer to. usually it's not a big deal, although it can be an inconvenience. there are, however, those times when it IS a big deal. example: the barista that had to move stores because she had a threesome with her manager and his pregnant wife. no matter how "hush hush" the reason for her transfer was supposed to be - the green apron express could not be quelled and EVERYONE in the district knew why she had to change stores.

my bux is about receive a newly transferred barista of our own. no matter how many times my manager and perky assistant manager told us "not to gossip", by the end of the day even our customers knew the reason for the transfer.

the short version:
lesbian partner of ten years works for bux.
attractive hetero newbie who has a boyfriend is hired at same bux.
lesbian partner makes a play for hetero newbie.
lesbian partner "turns" newbie.
newbie breaks up with boyfriend and secretly starts dating lesbian partner.
newbie and lesbian partner move in together as "roommates".
guitar playing emo boy is hired at same bux.
newbie starts hanging out with guitar playing emo boy.
newbie starts sleeping with guitar playing emo boy.
lesbian partner finds out about hetero affair and confronts newbie - during their shift.
newbie decides emo boy is her soulmate and dumps lesbian partner, but wants to stay "roomies" (because emo boy still lives with his parents).
spurned lesbian partner torments emo boy when they have overlapping shifts.
newbie torments lesbian partner for tormenting emo boy.
drama gets waaaay out of hand and newbie is forced to transfer to my bux.
emo boy will transfer to another district and lesbian partner has taken a leave of absence.

i can bet money newbie and bitter old dude will try and outdo each other with their personal drama. either that or they become best friends.

customer rant: you screwed up four drinks in a row because you were on your cell phone when you should have been working. you know full well that cell phones aren't allowed on the floor, but it seems you believe that rule does not apply to you. not only that, you also seemed to feel it was well within your place to argue with a customer because she interrupted your conversation when she pointed out you'd made her drink incorrectly. leave the cell phone in the backroom where it belongs, and start doing what you're paid to do!

you pay for happy ending?

sometimes customers like to talk with their baristas. and sometimes they like to banter and flirt. usually the banter is light and innocuous. sometimes the flirting borders on creepy.

tonight, for instance, a customer delivered a line that caused me to cringe: "would you sit in my latte to make it sweeter?"

SIT IN MY LATTE.

i guess he was going for the variation of "it's sweet just because you made it" or even "will you sweeten it a little more by putting your finger tip in it?" <-- still gross, by the way.
but asking me to SIT in his latte? that went way beyond flirting and straight to "strange uncle". he also informed me that he likes it "extra hot - and with extra whippage". but what really made me feel dirty was when he waved a dollar at me and said he was tipping because i always "do him right".
ugh.

it's not just the girl baristas that have to deal with this sort of customer. boy baristas also have their share of admirers. i used to work with a guy who looked like he belonged in a boy band. not only were the teen girlies hot for him, their mothers were as well. in fact he was propositioned by more than one desperate housewife looking for a "workout partner". one mother in particular was so aggressive that my fellow barista buddy started hiding whenever she'd come into the store. if she cornered him while he was at bar she would always ask him to add his "special sauce" to her drink.

so. very. wrong.

partner rant: you've been here for three months already! how long will it take for you to learn that "GTL" stand for "green tea lemonade" and not a "green tea latte"? i know all the symbols can be confusing, and many of them are similar, but you make this mistake EVERY SINGLE DAY! why can't you learn to differentiate between "GTL" and "GRTL"? it's not rocket-science!

butterfly catcher

we have a regular kid who comes in everyday after school on her rollerblades and orders a "rainbow water" (one pump of each syrup in a venti iced water). we call her 'butterfly' because she flits about the store, talking to total strangers and dancing on her blades. she normally is just a small annoyance, but lately she's been acting like an entitled beast.

last week she expected us to give her a free refill of her rainbow water just because she's in our store "all the time!". she's also been bold enough to ask us baristas to give her a ride home when she doesn't feel like blading to her house (which apparently is "only three blocks away"). and once she even tried to go into our backroom because she'd "never seen one before!".

this afternoon, however, she went above and beyond.
because she's in our store nearly everyday she knows where we keep our phone. since none of us baristas were willing to give her a ride home (not that we've ever been willing) she decided to go behind our counter and grab the phone so she could call her mother.

"hello? hell-ooooo! can you hurry it up because i need to use the phone!" butterfly was yelling into the receiver.
"hang up that phone and get out from behind the counter!" i was pissed and made no attempt to sound nice.
"i need to use the phone but someone is talking!" she cried out and started pushing numbers on the dial pad.

yup, indeed. our manager was having (yet another) serious conversation with our district manager when butterfly picked up the receiver and started hollering into it. butterfly tried to argue with me as i took the phone from her, hung it up and chased her out from behind the counter.

"but i just needed to use the phone for a second!" she whined.
"don't you EVER do that again," i scolded her like she was a bad dog. "if you can't behave then you better quit coming here."

my manager came out from the backroom ready to kill. butterfly sat her butt down in a chair and acted like nothing happened. when my manager went back to his phone call butterfly bladed her way to the front counter and started taking quarters out the tip jar. i had to fight the urge to slap her hand away.

"i need change for the pay phone." she said when i told her to put the money back.
"put the money back and get out of the store." i gave her the evil eye.
"well," she pouted. "will you give me money for a taxi?"

unfortunately my manager won't ban the butterfly. i can't wait to see what she pulls tomorrow.

partner rant: you've been begging for more shifts. you complain that you need hours. so when a fellow partner offered you one of their shifts you readily accepted. well, why the hell didn't you show up for the shift? not only were you a no-show, you didn't answer your phone when we called. thanks for screwing over the morning crew. because of that we had to play catch up for the rest of the day.

krazy kids

a barista from another bux sent me this gem:

I'm an SBUX barista. Thought I'd share my story from this evening.

Scene: A couple comes in, with their two young daughters. They get their beverages, kids beverages etc.

The couple proceeds to enjoy their evening in our SBUX, without a care in the world- especially about their kids. Apparently, in addition to fixing their beverages it seemed they believed we provided babysitting services as well. The girls proceeded to run around the store making lots of noise, arranging our holiday bearistas throughout the store, putting their grimy little fingers all over our holiday merchandise etc.

After a LONG while, they all disappeared...outside. As you probably imagined, they left their table full of empty cups and trash...along with a sippy cup, cigarettes, and almost full bottle of Ethos. I admit, I did notice the girls running around on our patio. But I decided they had left for the evening, and I needed to clean their mess. So I threw everything away ;)

About 10 minutes later, they all came back in (after their smoke)...and inquired about the stuff on the table. Most apologetically (of course) I told them we thought they had left for the evening and that the table was cleaned.

They whined about the lost sippy cup...and most especially about the cigarettes. So I walked them over to the trash and pulled out the sippy cup- I even offered to put it in our sanitizer (how legendary!!!). "But what about my cigarettes? That was half a pack!," Dad cried. "Is it in the trash, too?" Gee, I told him, I don't see them (and I'm not digging). So very, very sorry!

Oh, and get this- they declined the sippy cup sanitizing, and handed the just-removed-from-the-trash sippy cup to their kid. Lovely.

Next time, watch your damn kids or get a sitter, pal. Oh, and clean up your own mess.

there must have been something in the air because the children at my bux have been particularly unruly as well. one parent sat by while her daughter tossed cheerios on the ground. if that wasn't bad enough, the kid then proceeded to stomp on the cheerios until her section of floor was covered in cereal dust. what did the mother do?
nothing.
not a damn thing.

and there was the set of twins who decided it would be fun to squish all the sandwiches in our food case. dad just said "don't do that" and turned his attention back to the sports page. too bad i was all out of "parent of the week" awards.

barista rant: i know it's cool to use our wireless access, and really - we don't mind if you sit all day long at a table with your laptop. we do, however, get a little fussy when you take up THREE tables with your set up of two monitors, a keyboard, and a printer. a friggen' printer! we are not your home office, so please don't act as if you own the place.

jingle bux

'tis the season to order disgusting drinks.

apparently this was the weekend to go wild when ordering drinks. one or two additions was not enough. getting soymilk instead of regular milk was just too mundane. our customers wouldn't rest until EVERY box on the cup had a modifier. here are some of the more "memorable" customized holiday drinks (for the extra disgusting elements i've used capital letters).

a half-caff venti, two pump maple, half eggnog half WHIPPING CREAM, caramel drizzle latte - now many baristas think eggnog is perfectly disgusting as-is. i just hate the banshee-like scream that emits from the pitcher when we steam it. when someone orders pure eggnog (that hasn't been cut by milk) the whole store suffers from temporary deafness. this customer wanted us to cut the eggnog with WHIPPING CREAM instead of milk. it felt like making a latte out of butter, it was so thick.

an iced solo grande, FIVE PUMP CINNAMON, percent, with whip, peppermint mocha - in addition to the 8 pumps of syrup that are ALREADY included in grande peppermint mochas - this customer wanted 5 EXTRA pumps. not only did this customer want 13 pumps of syrup total, they wanted us to use one LESS shot of espresso because "it's not sweet enough with two shots of espresso!".

a grande gingerbread frappuccino light with 4 SPLENDA - this customer thought this drink would somehow be healthier if she added extra splenda. even though we explained to her that frappuccino lights are not completely sugar-free, and that the gingerbread syrup is load with sugar, she still insisted that extra splenda made for a lower calorie drink.

putting breve foam on my misto is about as crazy as i get with my drink - and i only do it if i'm working. i'd never walk into a bux and expect them to steam breve foam for my coffee. anyone care to discuss their craziest drink in the comment box?

barista rant: i know it's natural. i know sometimes it can't be helped. but waiting until you're ordering your coffee to let one rip is a special kind of crazy. the satisfied look on your face after you'd farted loud enough to shake the windows was not only creepy, it was cringe-inducing. asking us "want to hear it again? i'm sure i can squeeze another one out" permanently put you on the customer shame list. please refrain from using chemical warfare on the baristas. we'd much rather you bitch at us than pitch at us.

two for the price of none

there's an older couple that regularly comes into my bux. they both want grande mistos, as well as venti ice waters, and two large cups of milk - but all for under a buck. we baristas call them the moochers.

mr. and mrs. moocher bring in stainless steel mugs that were last scrubbed clean when nixon was in office. they ask for two refills, but only half filled with coffee and the other half steamed milk (which is a 'misto). besides their "refills" they want two venti cups of ice water, two empty venti hot cups and lids - and of course a tray to carry all their booty.

mr. and mrs. moocher insist we charge them the price of a refill (even though this is their first and only coffees of the day) AND they bitch and moan if we don't give them 10 cents off each "refill" since they bring in their own cups. uh, excuse me but a refill means you already have a cup and it is being RE-filled, not filled for the first time. mr. and mrs. moocher don't care. they still feel entitled to only pay 40 cents for their mistos. they also think bux is their personal milk supplier, because they take the empty cups we've given them and fill them full of milk from the condiment bar.

so let's recap: two large ice waters, 16 ounces of hot coffee, 16 ounces of steamed milk, 20 ounces of cold regular milk and 20 ounces of cold non-fat milk for the low, low price of 80 cents. not only that - they have the nerve to suggest we give them all this for free on occasion because they're "such good customers".
i'm happy to admit that i've gone against direct orders from both my manager and assistant manager. i am not complying with the "just say yes" mentality. sure i still give them their ice waters and their mistos at the price of a refill, but i won't give them the empty cups, nor do i give them the cup discounts. even when the inform me that they've always been charged 80 cents, and that manager told them they could have empty cups - i play dumb and say "i'm sorry but we were told we can't do that anymore." apparently i've gotten under their skin because they are frequenting my bux less and less.
and no, i'm not missing them a bit.

partner rant: if you're going to lie, at least make an effort! yesterday you begged to go home early because you wanted to spend a little time with your mother before she flew up north this morning. then tonight you bitched because your mother wants you to take her to the doctor's office on monday. uh, excuse me, but isn't that going to be hard since she's supposed to be in ANOTHER state! when we called you on it, you stuttered and mumbled - finally settling on, "oh, i meant my girlfriend's mother". when we reminded you that you took a week off last month because you had to help plan your girlfriend's mother's funeral, you changed your story again and said "uh, i meant her step-mother". you should carry around a cheat sheet so you can keep better track of your lies.

whip it good

today was a day i actually felt sorry for my manager. not only did he have to spend nearly an hour on the phone trying to get our POS systems back online, he also had the displeasure of being our district manager's whipping boy for the day.

apparently the higher ups did a tour of some of the stores in the district and my bux fell short on a few things.
included on the list:
- crumbs in the sink
- fingerprints on the register touch-screens (are you friggen' kidding me?!?)
- partners calling out "caramel frappuccino" instead of "caramel frappuccino blended beverage" (previously so long as we didn't say "frapps" or "ice blendeds" we were a-ok)
- barista telling a customer "thanks! have a good one!" instead of "thank you! have a nice day!"
- crowded backroom
- newbie with a button missing from his collar
- shift supervisor with multiple piercings in her ear (she has an industrial bar so they counted that as two piercings instead of one)

all these were in addition to the normal things higher ups complain about: store not clean enough, partners not fast enough, pastries not pretty enough, sugar not white enough, yadda, yadda, yadda.

now i understand that a corporation as large as bux needs to be insistent upon cleanliness and speed of service. i know it's important to have standards and rules and i know customers want a quality product each and every time they shell out the big bucks for their customized drinks. i also know that nit-picking never helps achieve these goals. i'm not saying upper management should turn a blind eye, or that they should lower company standards, but giving us a lecture because our touch-screens (which customers DON'T see) aren't cleaned every ten minutes is ridiculous - as is trying to monitor the way we thank our customers and bid them well.

what the higher ups seem to forget is this: happy baristas = happy customers.
seriously.
the baristas that give the best service and keep the cleanest stores are the ones that feel supported and appreciated by their management team - including district and regional managers. they are the ones that have no fear they'll be scheduled to open the morning after they were scheduled to close. they are the ones that receive MUG awards when they go the extra mile for their fellow baristas. and they are the ones that are offered promotions in a timely manner, instead of watching un-deserving partners move up the ladder just because they have open availability.

unfortunately it doesn't seem as if the higher ups will remember this any time soon.

partner rant: sorry if we didn't sing your praises when you informed us we could close early on thanksgiving day. i know closing early is a treat but it's hard to get excited when you're only giving us a thirty minute gift. seriously - why have us close early at all? most people i know eat their turkey in the early afternoon - not at 11 at night. so why did you say "good news! you get to go home early and spend the holiday with your families!"? at least have the beans to be honest and say "well, we would have made you keep normal hours, but we knew you'd riot so we decided to throw you an under-nourished bone".

peek-a-ball

tonight was one of the strangest shifts i've ever worked.

apparently a new gay fetish club opened it's doors somewhere near my bux because we had a fifteen-minute rush of men (all ages and sizes), dressed in latex and adorned with chains, ordering shots of espresso. a few of them were regular customers and it was quite a shock to see them in their clubbing gear.

then there was the ten-year old girl who threw a hissy fit when her grandmother dared order a tall instead of grande vanilla bean frappuccino. the girl literally slapped her hand over her grandmother's mouth and screamed "NOOOOOO!" while jumping up and down. her grandmother gave me a sheepish smile and again tried to order a tall, but the girl only screamed louder (and added more syllables).
"NOOO-OH-OH-OH-OOOO!" she pressed both her hands against her grandmother's mouth.
grandmother then tried to use her eyes to communicate with me since the girl was keeping her from talking.
"I WANT A GRANDE! A GRA-AH-AH-ANDE!" she cried and howled.
so grandmother relented and the girl never uttered another peep while in my bux.

and last, but not least, was the older gentleman who didn't realize his testicle had made a break from his shorts. he was sitting at the corner table (out of direct view of the baristas) working on his laptop. a customer sitting at another table was the one to inform us of his "wardrobe malfunction". we were pretty sure his "slippage" wasn't intentional but none of us wanted to be the bearer of bald news. so, instead of drawing straws, we wrote a note that said, "I'm afraid you've fallen out of your shorts" and picked the only male barista on duty to deliver it.
the barista told the rest of us that when the gentleman read the note his eyes practically fell out of his head. he gathered his belongings quickly and rushed out of the store. i hope he knew we weren't making fun of him and only wanted to save him further embarrassment.

barista rant: if your pastry was stale, you should have let us know before you consumed the entire thing. not only was it rude of you to bitch out the newbie on register, it was stupid to expect we'd give a cash refund for the contents of your stomach. when realizing your complaints were falling on deaf ears, you then asked for another pasty to "make up" for the one you claimed was inedible. when we refused you threatened to sue us for food poisoning. really, it was fun to watch you pout when we handed you the phone number to our corporate offices.

change for the worse

it always sucks to hear a great partner has turned bitter. there are many reasons why a good partners sour. sometimes they just don't want to put the effort into their job. sometimes they're putting 110% in, but getting zero recognition for it. manager changes deeply affect each store, and nit-picking by higher management can make bux almost unbearable.

when i first started working for bux i'd heard about an assistant manager in the district who was known for always being upbeat, welcoming and fun to work with. when he was transferred to my bux i found everything that was said about him to be true. he was a blast to work with and always pulled his weight. customers loved him, partners loved him - and he really seemed to enjoy his job. it wasn't surprising at all when he was promoted to manager and given his own store.

a few months after settling in to his own bux i'd hear stories about his moodiness, which really surprised me because my experience with him had been so great. then rumors started flying around that his partners were looking to transfer because it just wasn't fun to go into work anymore. and just the other day a partner i know (who also used to work with him when he was an assistant manager) went to his store to drop off product only to be asked "why the hell did it take you so long?" by this manager. no "hello", "thanks for bringing this by" or "how's it going". only a grunt and a bad attitude to thank her for wasting her own gas.

it's no wonder his staff is ready to jump ship, and really - it's sad. the partner i remember working with apparently doesn't exist anymore. and if his moodiness and bitterness continues, it's clear he won't be with the company much longer.

shots happen at bux. and it sucks when things go wrong, but it still isn't an excuse to get growly with your partners and customers.

barista rant: my bux is a small bux. so when you're talking to the barista at bar - the register partner can still hear you. so don't be surprised if you get caught in a lie. as i handed you your drink today you informed me i had it all wrong. that you were supposed to get four extra shots, as well as soymilk and extra caramel. when i informed you that the cup markings did not indicate your drink was anything other than a latte, you put on a show and said the register partner must be an idiot because you told him five times exactly what you wanted. how stupid did you look when the register partner made a copy of your receipt and brought it over to me. once caught in your lie, you accepted your latte (as ordered!) and quietly made your exit.

drinking and driving

only two incidents from this weekend stuck out:

incident #1 -
after a rush i noticed there was a drink left unclaimed on the bar. seeing it was a cappuccino, i asked the register partner if they remembered who ordered the drink. she pointed at a guy sitting by the window who was working on his laptop and had his bluetooth headset on (which presumably is why he didn't hear me call out his drink). when i handed him the cappuccino he apologized for leaving it on the serving bar.

"i'm sorry you had to bring it over to me," he said. "my car was stolen and i was on the phone with the police."
"oh no, that's horrible." i really was concerned. "you're checking to see if they've found it yet?"
"no," he informed me. "i was reporting it stolen."
i was a bit confused as to why he waited until he was at bux getting coffee to report his missing vehicle.
"i noticed it was gone when i went to get my reading glasses out of the glove box." he continued.
"you mean it was stolen, just now?" i was shocked.
"yeah, but it's cool. it's been stolen before and they found it. i have lo-jack so it's no biggie." he explained, then went back to typing on his laptop.

he hung out in our store for another hour, and when his ride came they both ordered drinks and hung out some more. i've never in my life seen anyone so calm after having their car stolen. he even tipped us before he left because we'd been so nice to him.

incident #2 -
a customer ordered a tall iced coffee in a venti cup sweetened with irish creme syrup. when we explained that irish creme syrup had been discontinued, the guy threw a bit of a hissy.

"well, what the hell am i supposed to put in my coffee?"
"uh, some people use classic syrup, or you can try vanilla." my fellow barista brat explained.
"that doesn't go!" he rolled his eyes.
"well, you can try caramel syrup. or there's raspberry, hazelnut, cinnamon, gingerbread -"
"none of those taste like irish creme!" he huffed. "what do you have that tastes like irish creme?"
"uh, nothing." fellow barista brat informed him.
"fine, just put some chocolate in it." he said and tossed his money at her.

two minutes later we found out why he was so hard up for irish creme. immediately after picking up his drink he popped the lid off and pulled a mini bottle of whisky out of his man-bag. right in front of us he began pouring the whisky into his cup.

"i'm sorry sir, but you can't drink that here." i informed him.
"why not? i paid for it!"
"you can't consume alcohol in our store." i told him and pointed to the door so he'd leave.
"starbucks sells liquor! i've seen it in the store."
"sorry guy, but you have to leave." i told him again.

he started to protest but shut his mouth and left quickly when he saw a police car pull into the parking lot. the funny thing is, the cops weren't getting coffee - they were getting sandwiches from next door.

partner rant: it's fine you wanted coffee on your day off. it's even acceptable that you asked us to grind your weekly mark-out. but holding up the line while you called your family to see if they wanted frappuccinos, then expecting us to give you five drinks for free is beyond rude. it's inconsiderate AND dumb - especially when the person you asked to hook you up is our newly promoted manager.

return to sender

well, along with the red cups came my store's early christmas present: a manager.

we've had acting managers floating in and out of our bux and few weeks ago they gave us another assistant manager (which was a bit odd considering we didn't even have a permanent manager yet). turns out the newly added assistant manager has been promoted to our manager.

oh. what. fun.

off the clock he seems like a cool guy but as soon as he hangs his apron around his neck he turns into "king cappuccino". he's the one that fought with me over a drink recipe, and he's also the one that turns over the worst mid shifts ever. to be fair he's been promoted in a store that's had a lot of confusion as far as staffing goes. apparently this guys big dream is to one day become a regional manager, which means he's going to have to dazzle all his bosses so that he can move up the bux chain.

this can go in either one of two ways: 1.) he bonds with his baristas, works his butt off and helps create a harmonious environment for the partners and the customers or he turns into a nit-picking, bean-counting killjoy who will fire/transfer anyone who won't ascribe to his personal party line.

i've seen both those things happen in other stores. the manager that chose option #1 (the best manager i ever had the privilege to work with) is ready to be promoted to district manager. the manager that chose option #2 (the WORST manager i ever worked for) was asked to leave the company after just a few weeks.

time will tell if my new manager will check his ego and get with the bux program. if not, i've heard coffee bean is hiring.

customer rant: i applaud your sense of urgency, i really do - but don't forgo being polite for being speedy. you were so concerned with calling down the line that you mismarked cups, and when i realized you had written down "sugar-free vanilla" instead of "vanilla" for my latte, i pointed it out. instead of changing the cup you threw a tantrum - making a big show of tossing the cup across the bar and into the trash. uh, wouldn't it have been faster to just scratch out the "SF" instead of getting a whole new cup? please, slow down enough so that you don't blow a fuse when you have to correct a mistake.

red cups are back!

tonight is the holiday roll-out for bux. tonight little green-aproned elves will magically transform the stores with red cups and holiday decorations. customers and partners usually have one of two reactions to the bux holiday season: 1.) "hooray! holiday!" or 2.) "WTF! it's waaaay too early for this crap!"

i fall into the category of the former.
i really love holidays at bux - truly, i do. even when customers get fussy because parking sucks, stores are crammed and our cd plays non-stop christmas songs, i adore this season. sure my shifts are fill ed with grumpy scrooges and stressed out housewives, but it's the people that embrace this time of year that make my job so much fun.

warm fuzzy #1 -
last holiday season we had a customer who needed fifty ten-dollar gift cards. usually customers that need such a high volume of cards are directed to order their cards online or call starbucks directly because it's a long process to activate all the cards. this particular customer needed the cards for the very next day and pleaded with us to activate all the cards in-store. seeing he was desperate we went ahead and started on his transaction. when a line started forming behind him he told us to go ahead and charge him for the other customers' drinks so they wouldn't have to wait for their beverages. he ended up spending an additional thirty dollars on other people's drinks, as well as stuffing twenty dollars in our tip jar.

warm fuzzy #2 -
a barista forgot to ask for time off so that she could visit her family (she hadn't seen them in almost a year). she was desperate to find coverage for her scheduled shifts and spent a couple hours on the phone looking around the district for people who wanted to pick up some hours. she ended up getting every shift covered except for one - and of course it was on christmas eve. the partners that were already scheduled that day told her not to worry about it and re-organized the shift so that her absence wouldn't screw them over. she was so thankful that she had christmas cookie bouquets delivered to each and every partner that worked on christmas eve.

warm fuzzy #3 -
the gifts and holiday cards regular customers give us baristas as a way of thanking us for our service. it's not expected but it's very much appreciated!

partner rant: you spent the first half of your shift bitching because you weren't given enough hours on this week's schedule. then you spent the second half of your shift bitching because you wanted to go home early. all your actions tell us is you want more shifts to skip out early on. if you really want hours then work the hours you're given!