i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo

been awhile since i've posted, but the good news is we are growing and getting new customers all the time.
i've been told by more than one customer that we should be call our coffee "crack" since the flavor and quality is so addictive. and it continues to fill my heart with joy when people tell me i've ruined starbucks and coffee bean for them, now that they know what good espresso is supposed to taste like.

and for all the wonderful comments and compliments, we still get our share of weirdos. like the espresso "expert" who complained when we made her iced americano by adding the shots to ice, instead of putting the hot shots directly into the plastic cup:
"i used to work for an exclusive cafe in seattle and you are never, NEVER supposed to pour hot shots over ice. it makes the espresso taste bitter."
"hmm," i wondered, "wouldn't the taste of melted plastic be even more displeasing?"

and the seemingly normal woman who asked for an ice water and sat in our store for an hour, filling me in on all the latest details of her life (just released from the hospital, thieving roommates, recent divorce, kids messing with her phone) even including the fact she'd thrown a pair of underwear away in our trash because she'd just started her period.

and the bug man who has become a semi-regular customer (no more roaches, however!) who has been very nice and chatty, but still has a strange affect. at least now i actually see him taking a sip of his coffee before he leaves.

so, for the most part my weirdos are innocuous, if not a tad annoying. but i am happy to report the supermassive blackhole of emotional need customer has officially been 86'd from my coffee house.
it's something i never had to do at bux (though we got close a couple times) and i never in a million years thought i'd have to do in my own cafe, but it is for the best and i feel SO MUCH FRIGGEN' BETTER knowing i won't have to listen to hours and hours of negativity, ranting and complaining every week.
this customer was not only exhausting to talk with, but he was also making my other patrons uncomfortable. he became very possessive of me, clearly hating when i would have conversations with anyone else and giving everyone the stinkeye when they hung out. it got to be way too much, and yesterday he crossed a line that can't be uncrossed which is why he is no longer allowed in my store.

here's hoping this is the first and last time i have to ban someone from my coffee house.


mellowlee said...

Wow! I sure hope you don't have any more trouble from this patron and he stays away!

Ken said...

I love the 'underwear in your trash' story. Awesome!

Zoltar Panaflex said...

I can imagine a bucolic nirvana where I'm not allowed to LEAVE your coffee spot.

Surrounded by superior beans 24/7? It's like some kind of dream!!!


SkippyMom said...

Glad you are rid of him. I wouldn't have wanted to come over there and go all "Skippymom" on his ass. 'Cause you know I would. :wink:

Glad you are enjoying your business - that is always a plus.

Anonymous said...

thrown a pair of underwear

Does she know that underwear can be washed?

mahlookma said...

Consider temperin the shock of the espresso by adding a little bit of filtered water to the bottom of the cup--about 1/4 of an inch. Add the espresso to that, one quick swirl, ice on top of that.

Conversely, she's ordering an iced americano and is a former barista, which means she should smile, take the drink, and order something else if she doesn't like your process.

Any chance you have considered cold brewing? I had some yama-brewed recently, and it was divine.

Anonymous said...

Pouring your espresso directly over ice cubes does, in fact, alter the taste of an iced americano. To do this correctly you should put about 5 ounces, or 1/3 of the cup with tap water, then pour your shots into that. After the shots have cooled off a bit with the water, add your ice.

This way, no bitter espresso and no melted plastic.

Deathcomes4u said...

Hehn, the manager in our Plaza storefront at the coffee chain I work in has banned at least 6 or more people from that store.
Simply because we're located in bogan central and get all the junkies/alcoholics/skivers. Seems like every time I take a shift down there she's had to ban another nutjob for bad conduct in the outside table area or for kicking up a stink inside.

barista buddy said...

I'm sure after what you did he will keep his distance from you.

purplegirl said...

Haha ... I didn't read this for a long time because I assumed it was referencing ... well .... you know, YOURSELF. :) Facebook stalker! :)

Anonymous said...

He's correct about the ice and hot shots. I'm in Seattle, and at high end places you will get that poured in ceramic, with the ice added after that step.

Fresh Garden said...

You made the right call! We all are always here with you!

Anonymous said...

You 86'd our emotionally needing friend, life is good!
Nice to hear that your business is growing and that your coffee has 'ruined' our competition. I am a new coffee bar beginning to form in Pinellas Park and have enjoyed reading your stories and look forward to working together to build coffee bars which create tantalizing effects which people remember.
Good luck and please join my blog; I am starting from framework to retail store front and along the way there are pictures, trials and tribulations we can all experience together.

Rich Boy Brat said...

Totally love this blog!!! Brat, you truly have made a more frequent and more polite bux customer out of me! Hahaha everyday i get 5 Venti Mochas triple espressos with whipped cream and caramel drizzle!!!!! ok.. i know you're not a barista anymore but i'm still catching up on your older posts! Hahaha i actually made a blog titled "Student Brat: Rants and Raves of a Toronto High School Student" in your honour. Keep up the amazing work!

funky barista said...

Oh well that's is one part of our job for being a barista my friend but don't worry were always here for you.

Anonymous said...

hey, are you coming back, miss these great stories

Jaui said...

i'm sure you're crazy busy with your new cafe (and it's hopeful success!!) in the past year, so there's probably not so much time to blog. enjoyed reading the recent posts though because i just opened up my own place here in Malaysia and can totally feel where you're coming from (we roast ourselves as well) when it comes to some customers... give us a small update to let us know how it's all going!!

Anonymous said...

would love to see an update, always liked these stories