call me, crazy

for the past four days my bux has been bombarded with prank phone calls. for whatever reason, some person is getting their jollies by calling my bux and asking ridiculous questions.

"what color is your atmosphere?" a heavily accented voice asked when my perky assistant manager answered the phone.
"excuse me?" perky assistant manager wasn't sure if she heard him correctly.
"what color is your atmosphere?" he asked again
"i'm sorry but i think you have the wrong number."
"WHAT. COLOR. IS. YOUR. ATMOSPHERE." he screamed at her.
"i'm hanging up now," perky assistant manager said before ending the call.

an hour later the phone rang again and this time i answered.
"how old is the glass?" asked the accented voice that i assumed had called earlier.
"four hundred thirty-two." i informed him and hung up.
apparently my method worked because he didn't call back for the rest of the night.
the next night, however, he was back to his old tricks. he called so many times that perky assistant manager told me she had to leave the phone off the hook.

last night when he called my barista buddy was the lucky person to pick up the phone.
"how cold is the toilet?" mr. prank asked.
"how old is the toilet?" barista buddy asked, deciding to play along with mr. prank.
"how cold is the toilet?" mr. prank repeated.
"how bold is the toilet?"
"HOW. COLD. IS. THE. TOILET."
"how gold is the toilet?" barista buddy was laughing now.
"you stupid bitch man! i get knife and i will cut!" mr. prank threatened, but barista buddy just hung up on him and turned the ringer off.

so tonight when i answered the phone and heard "what airplane is inside?" i responded with an "operator, this is the call we want traced. how soon will the police be there?".
amazingly mr. prank was the one to hang up and didn't call back for the rest of the night. we'll see if he wants to ask us more questions tomorrow.

barista rant: i fully expected the "i want a soy eggnog latte" requests, but i was not anticipating the "gimme an eggnog latte, but don't make it sweet" demand. when i informed you that eggnog is made with sugar, and there is no way to make it "not sweet" you huffed and said "i get it unsweetened all the time!". stupidly i tried to explain, yet again, that there was no way i could make your drink unsweetened. you rolled your eyes and asked for the manager. when he told you the very same thing you responded with a smile and said "oh! i didn't realize they were already sweetened. thanks for letting me know!".
may that eggnog go straight to your butt.