toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe

my awesome assistant manager had an incident with a know-it-all fifteen year-old yesterday.

awesome assistant manager: "brittney, here's your tall white mocha frappuccino and your grande caramel frappuccino."
know-it-all teen: "this isn't what i asked for! i wanted a white CHOCOLATE frappuccino. not mocha!"
aam: "yes, that frappuccino has white chocolate."
teen: "YOU said white MOCHA. i don't want MOCHA, i want WHITE chocolate."
aam: "a white mocha frappuccino has white chocolate in it."
teen: "oh my GOD! i can't believe you work here and don't know the difference between white chocolate and mocha!"
aam: "mocha just means there's coffee in the drink. if you want a white chocolate frappuccino it won't have any coffee. it will taste like a milkshake instead."
teen: "no! MOCHA is the brown chocolate. WHITE chocolate is WHITE! i want WHITE chocolate, not brown MOCHA!"
aam: "look, no matter what you call the drink, the fact is this drink is made with coffee and white chocolate, therefore it's called a white mocha frappuccino."
teen: "i want to talk to the manager."
aam: "fine, just a second."
awesome assistant manager walks away then walks right back.
aam: "hi."
teen: "YOU'RE the MANAGER?"
aam: "yes."
teen: "well i want -"
aam: "yeah, i know WHITE chocolate."

i wish i could say this sort of thing happens only once in a while.
unfortunately i can't.

barista rant: do you not see me making drinks? can you not tell that i am very occupied steaming milk and pulling shots? don't you see the ten people waiting for their beverages? so why do you waltz over to the serving counter and tell me that you need forks and knives? am i anywhere near the pastry case? did i hand you food? no! don't ask the person making drinks for utensils, ok? because in order to get them for you i have to walk away from the bar and all the drinks waiting to be made. so, here's a suggestion: why not ask the person who actually handed you the coffee cake for a fork. and if you really want to look astute, try asking for the fork while you order the pastry, ok smartie?