my new bff

i'm back at bux and it's pretty much the same - except harder since my store lost some core people who were replaced by some pretty weak newbies. oi. and right before holiday as well.

my first shift back seemed like it would be pretty uneventful. my manager was nice and gave me a short shift to ease me back into the whole coffee slinging thing. in fact, the day would have been pretty much golden if it weren't for the borrowed partner who was scheduled to work with me.

now borrowed partners can either be really great, or really horrid.
sometimes they want to make such a great impression that they work very efficiently, or they have such great personalities and work ethics that they seamlessly blend in with our regular partners and customers.
but sometimes they are pissed they have to cover a shift at a store that's not their own, so they have bad attitudes, are lazy, or spend the entire day commenting on how much better their store is.

the borrowed partner i worked with is in a class all her own.
right from the beginning i knew she wasn't going to be stellar, but i was hopeful she would at least be decent. she's been with the company for a couple years so presumably she knew how to make drinks and ring up customers. she's also in her late forties, so i was hoping maturity wouldn't be an issue.
in between rushes, when baristas should be cleaning and restocking, she slid next to me and said in a hushed tone "i think i might be pregnant".
now, let me just say that although i consider myself a friendly person, and i welcome conversation, telling me that you might be pregnant when i don't even know you is waaaaaaay too much information for this brat. really, all i want you to do is work, capiche?

"my husband has been out of the country for three years," she continued in subdued tones, "and i know he has been cheating on me. i have been faithful for over twenty years, but i can only take so much, so i started going out to clubs - "
"can you refill the milk fridge?" i interrupted her, not knowing a better way to get her to quit her story.
seriously, i was in shock that she was pouring all this out to me.
me! a person, who ten minutes previous, was a complete stranger!
"and i met a man," she continued after re-stocking the fridge. "and it is nothing serious but i think i am pregnant. my son is going to kill me if i'm pregnant! but what else can it be? i am ten days late and i am nauseous."

now, i really didn't want to deal with this my first day back. all i wanted was her to do her job. maybe some light conversation about movies or music, but that's all. no shoe dropping. no maury povich moments. just two baristas making coffee and keeping a clean store.

"my husband doesn't even send me money, and now i might have someone else's baby. what do you think i should do?" she asked in a whisper.

are you serious?!?
what the hell?!?
not only does she confide in someone she doesn't know, but she asks what SHE should DO?
WHO does this?!?

"uh, i have NO idea." i answered - incredulous that i was even having this conversation. "why don't you go take a break." i suggested just to have her out of my hair.

when she came back from her break she again slid next to me to pour out her woes. i, as nicely as i could, informed her that we really didn't have time to talk since there was so much work that needed to be done. she seemed to understand, but not two minutes later she had cornered barista buddy and again was whispering to a stranger that she thought she was pregnant. and when barista buddy made it clear this was not a conversation he wanted to be a part of, she started telling customers about her problems - still in that same hushed tone that made it seem like she wanted it kept a secret.
lady! it's no secret if you tell it to the whole world, no matter how low you keep your voice!

to maintain my sanity i put her on dish duty in the backroom and kept her there until her shift was over. i wasn't trying to be mean, but really, this lady had no clue as to what was appropriate. and being well into her forties you'd think she'd figure out that bux is certainly not the place to field advice about out of wedlock babies. at least it shouldn't be.
"welcome back, brat!" barista buddy laughed after she'd left. "by the way," he whispered, "i think i'm PREGNANT!"

barista rant: we don't mind that, although you're homeless, you come in and use our bathroom - especially since you are usually respectful and are relatively clean. but you may not panhandle in our store. it is NOT ok to ask customers if they will buy you a cup of coffee or a sandwich. and if someone is nice enough to buy you a meal, don't come back twenty minutes later and expect us to give you a cash refund because you didn't like the sandwich!


Amanda M said...

Hey Brat,

Glad to see that you've started up the blog again. I always look forward to your posts.

So funny, I had a very similar experience at the Bux that I used to work at. It doesn't seem to matter what kind of job you have, you're bound to eventually come across a coworker or customer that wants to share too much information. I understand your choice to put her in the back with the dishes and suds. In my case though, it was happening so often that I was forces to just come out and say "This is a completely inappropriate conversation. Sorry, but you're going to have to find someone else to talk to." That stopped it, but the downside to no more personal conversation is the awkwardness on the floor.

Hopefully, you won't have to deal with this again anytime soon!

Anonymous said...

If she's cheating on her hubby with guys in nightclubs, it's pretty obvious that she lacks any social common sense. Great story, glad you're back in the posting swing of things.

Bitchin' Hippie said...

We once had a borrowed partner come in and rearrange our store because "That's not where it should go", but never one who came in and poured out their secret life story. I wouldn't have been able to handle it- kudos for just sending her to do dishes rather than telling her you just weren't interested in the info (like I might have done in the same situation).

SkippyMom said...

I don't what made me laugh harder - her confiding in you and then everyone about her, ahem, supposed "condition"...or the guy asking for the money back.

GALL is the word of the day. For both of them. Sorry brat - it wasn't exactly the best day back, but boy-o perfect blog fodder.

Oh, and I might be pregnant too...shhhh, don't tell anyone. But ahh, do you want to be Godmomma? LOL ;D

Zoltar Panaflex said...

Ah, the TMI Express! Always a fun ride!

I had a coworker who gave me *bleah* lots of her details of her 'female problems'. It was hideous.

I think maybe your rental barista might have had some mental issues tho...

Glad to see you again, Brat! Missed you very much!

James UK said...

They seem to be everywhere, those co-workers who have to speak everything that's going through their mind... non-stop. :-(

Tell you what, have an Americano on me.


Serin said...

Yay, brat is back! It's wonderful to have posts to read again. I hope your return to the bux is a smooth one!

Julie said...

Wow, sounds like a fun first day....... I almost couldn't say that with a straight face. my god what is her damage? that is not something you tell someone you don't know. I'm so sorry that you're first day back was so insane. but glad you are back to tell us about your adventures, it sort of makes me miss the place (not enough to take on a part time holiday job with them though)

terry said...

Welcome back Brat!

I enjoy reading your entries. =D

Anonymous said...

i had a partner ask if our menstrual cycles had synchronized yet... WTF???

Julie said...

Hey anonymous I have to ask how well do you know this partner cause it might have just been meant as a funny ha, ha sort of thing, I'm just saying. I agree that is a weird thing to say to someone but maybe they were trying to be funny like "hey we see eachother every freaking day." you never know

Moxie said...

Good to see you, Brat! I think a number of bloggers I love reading have been on extended sabbatical this year.

Could it be TMI Barista was rehearsing for a telenovela? How great would it be to toss back at these folks some dramatic line, but in Spanish. And it would have to start with "Dios Mio", of course.

Lisa said...

Glad to have you back!

Anonymous said...

Wow... I can't imagine how desperate and scared that woman must be to tell people who are practically strangers about her problems.

norelle said...

I've missed you brat! Glad to hear things haven't got anymore normal since you've been away.

barista brat said...

amanda m - yeah, sometimes the awkwardness is totally worth them shutting up!

anonymous - true, her past behaviour certainly shouldn't have led me to believe she'd have any common sense at all.

bitchin' hippie - grrr! those are the WORST borrowed partners!

skippymom - haha! if you are, then i'm throwing you a bux themed shower!

zoltar panaflex - yikes. unless she was your best buddy, i can't see how that would ever be appropriate.

james uk - thanks for the americano! i'm tipping you with a mexican peso i found in my tip jar :)

serin - thanks!

julie - if you reconsider that holiday position, let me know. we NEED some experienced partners!

terry - thanks!

anonymous - again, unless that was my best pal, i would not ever want to hear that from another partner.

moxie - more like 'aye carumba'!

lisa - thanks!

anonymous - i really didn't get the impression that she was desperate and scared. more like she just couldn't stop running her mouth.

norelle - thanks!

John said...

enough about this coffee stuff, where is this slutty married woman again?

James UK said...

Hey, just noticed I made the "Regulars"!

Thanks for that! Fame, via a real Blog's sidebar!