i know i've blogged before about lying customers who think baristas are the most gullible form of mankind on the planet, and how their untruths are as transparent as clingwrap, but since i've been back behind the bar it seems as if there has been an outbreak of dishonesty.
now really, do these people really think they're the first ones to come to the register with an empty cup and claim their beverage was made wrong?
that one of our baristas promised them three free drinks?
that they bought four pounds of coffee and accidentally left them in the lobby the day before?
that the manager 'from the other bux' said our bux would give them an espresso machine at a 50% discount?
that one of our baristas was so rude that our manager was going to give the customer ten free beverage coupons?
that they bought a sandwich the night before and it had a bug in it, just like the last four sandwiches they'd 'purchased'?
that the coupon they made using photoshop was approved for use by mr. schultz himself?
just last night i had this happen:
"uh, where's my drink?" skater dude asked the barista on bar.
now this was during my closing shift. i was the register partner, one barista was on break and the other barista was on bar. after ringing up all the customers in the store, i went to the backroom so i could fill milk carafes.
"what?" my fellow barista asked skater dude, finding it improbable that i would forget to mark a cup.
"my drink - i ordered a drink and you never made it." skater dude responded with much attitude.
"hang on just a sec," bar barista said to skater dude, then poking his head in the backroom asked, "hey brat - did this guy order a drink?"
i walked out of the backroom to find skater dude impatiently tapping his cell phone against the hand off bar.
"dude - you didn't order a thing." i practically spat, pissed that he was trying to run a game on us.
"yeah i did," he countered. "i ordered a venti -"
"no, you didn't." i interrupted him.
seeing he'd been caught, and we weren't stupid enough to believe him, he sheepishly walked out of the store muttering, "oh, i thought my friends bought me something."
and today this happened:
customer: "so, like, i called your corporate office because last week you guys overcharged my credit card by a hundred bucks. they told me that all i had to do was come back here and you'd give me a cash refund."
barista brat: *knowing full well this guy was a scammer* "i'm sorry, but i can't do anything on this end for you. if you're already talking with corporate about it, they should be able to help you out."
customer: "oh yes you can do something for me because your head offices said you have to."
barista brat: "sorry, no."
customer: "you do. i was on the phone with helen this morning and she said you had to give me the hundred back in cash."
barista brat: "if you like you can come back tomorrow when my manager is here -"
customer: "no! i don't have time to be running back here everyday! you guys OWE me. helen TOLD me that you HAVE to give me the money."
barista brat: "i'm sorry, but i don't have any authority to give you cash."
customer: "yes you do! HELEN gave you that authority!"
barista brat: "sorry, but my manager would be the best person to help you."
customer: "you ARE sorry."
barista brat: "yeah, have a great day."
barista rant: telling me how much fun it is to work with me, and how great you think i am will NOT blind me to the fact that you are the laziest of the lazies. smiling a lot and trying to be my buddy will not keep me from getting on your case every time i see you slacking. and offering to bake me a cake to welcome me back to the store (even though you were hired while i was away) is not enough of a bribe to make up for your bad work ethic. guess what? getting me to like you is the easiest thing in the world. all you have to do is your JOB.