dear c-list actor's annoying girlfriend,
yes, we know you're sleeping with some guy that used to be on tv, but don't expect preferential treatment because of it. you are not allowed to cut in line because you're boyfriend is double parked with the engine running. and we certainly do expect you to pause your phone conversation long enough to tell us what the hell it is you want to order.
"OH MY GAWD, YOU'D NEVER BELIEVE WHAT MY MAN BOUGHT ME! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DIE WHEN YOU SEE IT! I'D BEEN TELLING HIM FOR MONTHS WHAT I WANTED AND HE - tai chi, non-dairy - FINALLY CAME HOME WITH THE BLUE BOX YESTERDAY! " is not a drink we carry at bux.
neither is a 'tai chi, non-dairy'.
responding to the question 'what size would you like?' by tossing a five-dollar bill at us does not inspire us to 'chop, chop!' when making your drink. bitching at the barista because he was supposed to read your mind and know you wanted your non-existent drink iced does not merit a free drink coupon. nor will yelling into your phone: "I HATE THIS FUCKING STARBUCKS! THE WORKERS ARE SO RUDE AND SLOW AND OBVIOUSLY JEALOUS BECAUSE THEY SAW ME AND MY BOYFRIEND PULL UP IN HIS NEW MERCEDES!"
throwing your straw wrapper on the floor as you left was a particularly eloquent parting gesture.
trust us, all the baristas here hope you make good on your promise to "FIND ANOTHER STARBUCKS TO GO TO - WHERE THEY ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A TAI CHI NON-DAIRY IS!".
the bux baristas who'd rather clean the drains with our tongues than swap spit with c-list actor.
barista rant: i know the bux down the street closes an hour later than we do, but that doesn't mean you can repeatedly tug at our locked door and ask us to let you in. when we mouth the words 'we're closed' to you and point to our hours of operation, that is not an invitation to debate us about what time YOU'D like us to stay open until. calling us on your cell to continue the debate is not advised, either. nor is complaining that our interior lights are not dimmed, and are therefore 'misleading the public into believing you guys are still open'. really, sir, with all the time you took to bitch at us, you would have already been at the other bux enjoying your beverage.