dear bux,
hi! how's it going? just wanted to drop you a line and let you know how things have been at my store.
as i'm sure you already know, we did not make our sales goal for the brewing event. even though we wasted barista hours with daily demos, and giving away free lattes made with the machines that were on sale, we still fell flat and were nowhere close to making our goal. of course, a large percentage of our customers are kids from the four neighboring schools around us, and even though they are from very affluent families it was pretty obvious that none of them were going to throw down several hundred dollars for an espresso machine (especially when all they order is frappuccinos).
but i digress.
what i really wanted to talk to you about was our new drinks. you know the ones i'm talking about: the dulce de leche latte and the dulce de leche frappuccino.
now i've been instructed to sample our new beverages every half hour. i know, i know, you expect us to sample ALL the time - not just when we have new beverages, but you know what? in all the time i've worked for bux i've NEVER had a customer sample a beverage and then order it.
honestly.
a sample for the customer is just a mini-freebie. that's all. not only that, every day three to five people come in asking for samples of drinks and pastries and then leave after we've given it to them. you understand? they don't order a single thing except for the sample.
also, do you remember bringing back the cinnamon dolce latte and cinnamon dolce frappuccino a short while ago? not only that, last year you introduced the iced cafe con leche. so you know what is now happening in my bux? we have customers asking for "cinnamon dulce de latte cafe con leches".
that's right.
and what follows is a five minute conversation while we, the baristas, try to figure out which drink the customer really wants. and then they get huffy with us because they felt stupid while ordering their drink. meanwhile the line of customers behind mr./ms. huffy is growing longer and more agitated by the moment.
and yet you expect us to hand a customer their drink within three minutes of them entering our store. let me tell you - that is not possible when we have to upsell, explain the menu, fix mis-ordered drinks and sample all at the same time.
so please, bux - take a cue from christina aguilera and get 'back to basics'.
sincerely,
barista brat
partner rant: please don't call me on my day off to tell me how bored you are at work. don't ask me if i'll come in for you so you can go party. and CERTAINLY don't ask if i'll call other stores to cover your shift. it's my friggen' day off!
4.11.2007
4.08.2007
easter dummies
i usually love to work holidays because (for the most part) customers are all smiles and business tends to be slower. today, however, there were several exceptions to the general rule.
MANY people decided bux coffee would go great with their easter brunch, so we had a rash of people ordering our coffee travellers. now usually people will phone these orders in ahead of time, but not today. we had several customers walk in, order a traveller (plus all the condiments) and expect us to have it ready for them in under three minutes. since it takes four minutes just to brew a batch of coffee it is impossible to hand over a traveller as soon as a customer orders one (which is exactly why most people call ahead).
most of the customers understood that it would be a short wait for their travellers, but there were two separate customers who decided it was perfectly acceptable to raise holy hell.
"isn't this starbucks?" one lady sneered at me. "aren't you guys supposed to ALWAYS have coffee?"
"certainly we have coffee, but i need to brew a batch especially for the coffee traveler you ordered." i informed her with gritted teeth.
"i can't believe this!" she complained two minutes later. "that lady just got her drink and she was BEHIND me in line!"
"ma'am," i tried to keep an even tone, "if you'd ordered a latte then you would've gotten your beverage before her."
"just hurry it up!" she snapped at me and gave me the stink eye until her order was ready.
the other customer wasn't as rude, but was just as big of a pain. hating that he'd have to wait a few minutes while the coffee was brewing, he tried to argue that he deserved some sort of compensation for his time. i agreed to let him have a free drip coffee, but he wanted a frappuccino. he also wanted free pastries and a free sandwich. when i refused he gave me a sour look and said "well, i see YOU'RE not in a giving mood this holiday."
"i thought christmas was the time for gift giving, not easter." i smiled at him and bid him a good day.
but the craziest story of the day was the elderly couple who ordered five different beverages. the register partner handed them their venti drip coffee while they waited for me to make their four bar drinks. the husband attempted to fit his venti drip coffee in the carrying tray i'd handed him and ended up splashing a bit of the coffee on his hand.
"OW, OW, GODDAMMIT!" he howled and jumped up and down. "DAMN IT! DAMN IT! THAT COFFEE IS PIPING HOT!"
"let me get you some ice and a towel." i offered right away, although it was clear only a drop of coffee escaped from the lid.
"GIVE ME ICE! GODDAMMIT THIS HURTS!" he continued to howl and nurse his hand.
i offered him some burn cream but his wife just waved me off and said the ice was good enough.
by the time i'd finished making the rest of the drinks he'd calmed down.
"what is this drink?" the man pointed to his cup of coffee. "is this the coffee? because i ordered a coffee."
"uh, yes. that's the coffee." i told him, bewildered that he seemed to have forgotten making such a scene about the coffee just minutes earlier.
"just wanted to make sure i wasn't taking someone else's drink!" he said as he placed the cup of coffee in the tray, splashing a bit on his hand in the process.
but this time there were no theatrics and he went on his merry way.
barista rant: LISTEN for your drink! i'm tired of calling a drink out repeatedly, only to have it sit on the bar and grow cold. and by the time you saunter over to the counter to pick it up, you complain that it's not hot enough. and then you want a free drink coupon since you "had to wait" for me to remake your lukewarm drink. pay attention if you want your latte hot!
MANY people decided bux coffee would go great with their easter brunch, so we had a rash of people ordering our coffee travellers. now usually people will phone these orders in ahead of time, but not today. we had several customers walk in, order a traveller (plus all the condiments) and expect us to have it ready for them in under three minutes. since it takes four minutes just to brew a batch of coffee it is impossible to hand over a traveller as soon as a customer orders one (which is exactly why most people call ahead).
most of the customers understood that it would be a short wait for their travellers, but there were two separate customers who decided it was perfectly acceptable to raise holy hell.
"isn't this starbucks?" one lady sneered at me. "aren't you guys supposed to ALWAYS have coffee?"
"certainly we have coffee, but i need to brew a batch especially for the coffee traveler you ordered." i informed her with gritted teeth.
"i can't believe this!" she complained two minutes later. "that lady just got her drink and she was BEHIND me in line!"
"ma'am," i tried to keep an even tone, "if you'd ordered a latte then you would've gotten your beverage before her."
"just hurry it up!" she snapped at me and gave me the stink eye until her order was ready.
the other customer wasn't as rude, but was just as big of a pain. hating that he'd have to wait a few minutes while the coffee was brewing, he tried to argue that he deserved some sort of compensation for his time. i agreed to let him have a free drip coffee, but he wanted a frappuccino. he also wanted free pastries and a free sandwich. when i refused he gave me a sour look and said "well, i see YOU'RE not in a giving mood this holiday."
"i thought christmas was the time for gift giving, not easter." i smiled at him and bid him a good day.
but the craziest story of the day was the elderly couple who ordered five different beverages. the register partner handed them their venti drip coffee while they waited for me to make their four bar drinks. the husband attempted to fit his venti drip coffee in the carrying tray i'd handed him and ended up splashing a bit of the coffee on his hand.
"OW, OW, GODDAMMIT!" he howled and jumped up and down. "DAMN IT! DAMN IT! THAT COFFEE IS PIPING HOT!"
"let me get you some ice and a towel." i offered right away, although it was clear only a drop of coffee escaped from the lid.
"GIVE ME ICE! GODDAMMIT THIS HURTS!" he continued to howl and nurse his hand.
i offered him some burn cream but his wife just waved me off and said the ice was good enough.
by the time i'd finished making the rest of the drinks he'd calmed down.
"what is this drink?" the man pointed to his cup of coffee. "is this the coffee? because i ordered a coffee."
"uh, yes. that's the coffee." i told him, bewildered that he seemed to have forgotten making such a scene about the coffee just minutes earlier.
"just wanted to make sure i wasn't taking someone else's drink!" he said as he placed the cup of coffee in the tray, splashing a bit on his hand in the process.
but this time there were no theatrics and he went on his merry way.
barista rant: LISTEN for your drink! i'm tired of calling a drink out repeatedly, only to have it sit on the bar and grow cold. and by the time you saunter over to the counter to pick it up, you complain that it's not hot enough. and then you want a free drink coupon since you "had to wait" for me to remake your lukewarm drink. pay attention if you want your latte hot!
4.04.2007
tales from the bright side
sometimes, when there's a rash of jerk customers (like the other day), it's tempting to quit. but then there are other days where the customers are all great, or someone makes you laugh so hard that it's totally worth it to wear the green apron.
favorite funny bux stories so far this week:
- a group of rowdy middle grade boys came in and were very disruptive. the were so loud i had to play the "if you can't behave, you'll have to leave" card. meanwhile an employee from the burger shop next to us came in for his drink.
"hey, why did your boss kick us out yesterday?" one of the boys asked the burger shop employee.
"because you guys are loud, obnoxious and messy." he answered with a smile.
"but she can't throw us out just because she doesn't like us!" another boy piped up.
"guys, i know that you know the reason why she kicked you out. all you have to do is be cool and then you can hang out all night long." he told them as they gathered their things to leave my store.
"hey, guys!" the burger employee called them back before they'd walked out. "you see this?" he pointed to the mess on the table and chairs in the aisle. "this is the reason people don't want you in their place of business. now clean all this up and apologize to the starbucks workers for being bad customers."
unbelievably the boys did exactly what they were told - even apologizing to us.
"you want a job here?" i teased the burger employee after the boys had left.
"hell no!" he laughed. "at my store i can kick those snots out any time i want!"
- (this happened at my fellow barista brat's bux) a kid walked into the store and gabbed a root beer from the display case and brought it to the counter. after paying for the soda, and putting the change in the tip jar, he returned the root beer to the display case and started to leave the store.
"hey!" the register partner called out to the kid. "aren't you going to take your soda? you just paid for it!"
"yeah, but i stole one last week and my mom made me come back just to pay for it."
- a tall guy in a suit came in and stood in line, the whole time he was on the phone. when it came is turn to order he put the phone down and asked barista buddy if he remembered him.
"i'm not sure - i'm sorry." barista buddy apologized, thinking he had messed this guy's drink up in the past.
"well, i came in about a month ago and ordered an iced latte, but i left my wallet at the office and you went ahead and gave me the drink and told me i could pay you later."
"oh yeah, ok." barista buddy started to ring the guy up for the latte.
"the rest is for the tip jar." the tall guy said as he handed over a twenty dollar bill. "thanks again for that!" he called out as he left.
- a regular customer came in holding a large pizza box in one hand and a two-liter of coke in the other.
"oh, yay! you brought enough to share!" i teased her as i marked her cup.
"i sure did!" she smiled. "this is for you guys. i left mine in the car." she answered and handed us the pizza and coke. "you guys always make my day, so i figured i could make yours for once!"
partner rant: please don't give out false information to customers. don't tell them that we blend soy drinks, that frappuccino lights are totally calorie free or that all our tea is organic. it doesn't matter that you don't think the customers really care whether you're lying or not. the fact is you're making every other baristas job harder when you give out false information. either learn the real info, or go work someplace else.
favorite funny bux stories so far this week:
- a group of rowdy middle grade boys came in and were very disruptive. the were so loud i had to play the "if you can't behave, you'll have to leave" card. meanwhile an employee from the burger shop next to us came in for his drink.
"hey, why did your boss kick us out yesterday?" one of the boys asked the burger shop employee.
"because you guys are loud, obnoxious and messy." he answered with a smile.
"but she can't throw us out just because she doesn't like us!" another boy piped up.
"guys, i know that you know the reason why she kicked you out. all you have to do is be cool and then you can hang out all night long." he told them as they gathered their things to leave my store.
"hey, guys!" the burger employee called them back before they'd walked out. "you see this?" he pointed to the mess on the table and chairs in the aisle. "this is the reason people don't want you in their place of business. now clean all this up and apologize to the starbucks workers for being bad customers."
unbelievably the boys did exactly what they were told - even apologizing to us.
"you want a job here?" i teased the burger employee after the boys had left.
"hell no!" he laughed. "at my store i can kick those snots out any time i want!"
- (this happened at my fellow barista brat's bux) a kid walked into the store and gabbed a root beer from the display case and brought it to the counter. after paying for the soda, and putting the change in the tip jar, he returned the root beer to the display case and started to leave the store.
"hey!" the register partner called out to the kid. "aren't you going to take your soda? you just paid for it!"
"yeah, but i stole one last week and my mom made me come back just to pay for it."
- a tall guy in a suit came in and stood in line, the whole time he was on the phone. when it came is turn to order he put the phone down and asked barista buddy if he remembered him.
"i'm not sure - i'm sorry." barista buddy apologized, thinking he had messed this guy's drink up in the past.
"well, i came in about a month ago and ordered an iced latte, but i left my wallet at the office and you went ahead and gave me the drink and told me i could pay you later."
"oh yeah, ok." barista buddy started to ring the guy up for the latte.
"the rest is for the tip jar." the tall guy said as he handed over a twenty dollar bill. "thanks again for that!" he called out as he left.
- a regular customer came in holding a large pizza box in one hand and a two-liter of coke in the other.
"oh, yay! you brought enough to share!" i teased her as i marked her cup.
"i sure did!" she smiled. "this is for you guys. i left mine in the car." she answered and handed us the pizza and coke. "you guys always make my day, so i figured i could make yours for once!"
partner rant: please don't give out false information to customers. don't tell them that we blend soy drinks, that frappuccino lights are totally calorie free or that all our tea is organic. it doesn't matter that you don't think the customers really care whether you're lying or not. the fact is you're making every other baristas job harder when you give out false information. either learn the real info, or go work someplace else.
4.01.2007
three of a(n) UN-kind
some days at bux everything flows smoothly.
and then there are days like today when it seems the world has swallowed a pitch-a-fit pill.
my very first customer of the day ordered a mocha frappuccino light - not a problem. but because the beverage was made correctly (meaning there wasn't extra frappuccino guts left in the blender) the customer decided to raise hell because she felt she was being shorted.
"this isn't really full." she slid the frappuccino back to me. "can you top it off?"
seriously, there was really no room to 'top off' the drink, but that isn't really what the lady wanted. what she wanted was for me to remake the drink and give her two for the price of one. so i blended about an inch more of the mocha frappuccino light and 'topped off' her drink.
"why don't you use a dome lid and pour the rest in?" she said in an amazingly patronizing tone of voice when she saw i was going to dump the last bit of frappuccino down the sink.
"oh, did you want to pay the difference for a larger size?" i smiled, knowing full well it rubbed her the wrong way.
"forget it!" she grabbed her drink and straw. "next time learn how to make the drink right on the first try!"
the second customer was a woman who ordered a double tall nonfat cappuccino. i know that's what she ordered because i heard her order it. i also repeated the order to her before i started foaming the nonfat milk. but when i handed her a double tall nonfat cappuccino she huffed and whined about me getting her drink wrong.
"i ordered a LATTE, not a CAPPUCCINO!" she rolled her eyes.
"i'm sorry," i said none too sincerely. "i thought i heard you say cappuccino, and i know when i verified the order i said cappuccino and not latte."
"ask the guy on register!" the lady shot back defensively. "hey! tell her what drink i ordered!" she called out to barista buddy.
"double tall nonfat cappuccino." barista buddy replied without skipping a beat.
"well, the both of you are deaf," she muttered under her breath.
"guess i must be improving because i had no trouble hearing that." i told her directly before remaking her drink.
the third jerk customer of the day was a guy who decided his time was more valuable than the three people in front of him in line.
"gimme a double espresso, water, tall hot cup." he ordered and tossed two bucks at me and began reading the paper.
of course i wasn't going to rush his order through and instead finished the drinks i had on the bar - including the drinks of the three customers he skipped ahead of.
"sorry sir, did you want two shots with water in a tall hot cup?" i asked to clarify.
"double. espresso. water. tall. hot. cup." the guy responded without even making eye contact with me.
so i made him a lukewarm americano, which is what i understood his order to be.
"what is this?" he wrinkled his brow and looked at me like i'd just placed a cup filled with urine in front of him.
"double espresso and water in a tall cup." this time it was my turn to respond flippantly.
"i wanted a DOUBLE ESPRESSO and a cup of water in a hot cup! separate! not together!" the guy raised his voice at me. "and i ordered it, like, ten minutes ago!"
well, since i was already in a mood because of the mocha frappuccino light lady and the cappuccino lady, i was extra bratty when i responded to the jerk customer.
"oh, you wanted a double espresso separated into two cups? so you want two solo shots of espresso? which one gets water?" i smiled at him. "did you want the water hot? or just a tall hot cup? or did you want -"
"just give me two damn shots of espresso!" he interrupted me.
"gladly!" i said, keeping the fake smile on my face.
and yes, i did give him decaf.
partner rant: if you're going to have someone from another store cover your shift, please make sure they've been with bux for longer than two weeks. getting a brand newbie to cover during a morning rush doesn't do anybody any good. so please, make sure that whoever covers your shift at least knows how to ring and do lobbies.
and then there are days like today when it seems the world has swallowed a pitch-a-fit pill.
my very first customer of the day ordered a mocha frappuccino light - not a problem. but because the beverage was made correctly (meaning there wasn't extra frappuccino guts left in the blender) the customer decided to raise hell because she felt she was being shorted.
"this isn't really full." she slid the frappuccino back to me. "can you top it off?"
seriously, there was really no room to 'top off' the drink, but that isn't really what the lady wanted. what she wanted was for me to remake the drink and give her two for the price of one. so i blended about an inch more of the mocha frappuccino light and 'topped off' her drink.
"why don't you use a dome lid and pour the rest in?" she said in an amazingly patronizing tone of voice when she saw i was going to dump the last bit of frappuccino down the sink.
"oh, did you want to pay the difference for a larger size?" i smiled, knowing full well it rubbed her the wrong way.
"forget it!" she grabbed her drink and straw. "next time learn how to make the drink right on the first try!"
the second customer was a woman who ordered a double tall nonfat cappuccino. i know that's what she ordered because i heard her order it. i also repeated the order to her before i started foaming the nonfat milk. but when i handed her a double tall nonfat cappuccino she huffed and whined about me getting her drink wrong.
"i ordered a LATTE, not a CAPPUCCINO!" she rolled her eyes.
"i'm sorry," i said none too sincerely. "i thought i heard you say cappuccino, and i know when i verified the order i said cappuccino and not latte."
"ask the guy on register!" the lady shot back defensively. "hey! tell her what drink i ordered!" she called out to barista buddy.
"double tall nonfat cappuccino." barista buddy replied without skipping a beat.
"well, the both of you are deaf," she muttered under her breath.
"guess i must be improving because i had no trouble hearing that." i told her directly before remaking her drink.
the third jerk customer of the day was a guy who decided his time was more valuable than the three people in front of him in line.
"gimme a double espresso, water, tall hot cup." he ordered and tossed two bucks at me and began reading the paper.
of course i wasn't going to rush his order through and instead finished the drinks i had on the bar - including the drinks of the three customers he skipped ahead of.
"sorry sir, did you want two shots with water in a tall hot cup?" i asked to clarify.
"double. espresso. water. tall. hot. cup." the guy responded without even making eye contact with me.
so i made him a lukewarm americano, which is what i understood his order to be.
"what is this?" he wrinkled his brow and looked at me like i'd just placed a cup filled with urine in front of him.
"double espresso and water in a tall cup." this time it was my turn to respond flippantly.
"i wanted a DOUBLE ESPRESSO and a cup of water in a hot cup! separate! not together!" the guy raised his voice at me. "and i ordered it, like, ten minutes ago!"
well, since i was already in a mood because of the mocha frappuccino light lady and the cappuccino lady, i was extra bratty when i responded to the jerk customer.
"oh, you wanted a double espresso separated into two cups? so you want two solo shots of espresso? which one gets water?" i smiled at him. "did you want the water hot? or just a tall hot cup? or did you want -"
"just give me two damn shots of espresso!" he interrupted me.
"gladly!" i said, keeping the fake smile on my face.
and yes, i did give him decaf.
partner rant: if you're going to have someone from another store cover your shift, please make sure they've been with bux for longer than two weeks. getting a brand newbie to cover during a morning rush doesn't do anybody any good. so please, make sure that whoever covers your shift at least knows how to ring and do lobbies.
3.29.2007
freebie jeebies
remember mr. and mrs. moocher?
they were the older couple who asked for extra cups, water, coffee "refills" and always tried to get everything for free.
well, the moochers haven't been around since we quit giving them freebies. imagine my surprise when i covered a shift at a different bux and i saw the moochers heading towards the register!
"you know about these two, right?" i whispered to the register partner before the moochers made it to the counter.
"oh my god!" register partner gave me a look and wrinkled her nose. "i HATE these two!"
"well, make sure they know they have to pay for what they order." i told her before i went back to bar.
of course the moochers pulled out all the stops with register partner when she told them they would have to pay regular price for their coffee. and of course register partner fell for it all and charged them for only one refill, when they should have been charged for two grande drips.
besides the moochers, this bux has another infamous customer who wants to pay next to nothing for his drink.
apparently he waits until bux quits serving their mild coffee (we don't serve two different types of regular throughout the day) and asks for an extra extra foamy mild misto in his commuter mug.
since there is no more mild coffee and he refuses to drink the bold roast, he demands two espresso shots undiluted in his mug before the milk and foam are poured over the top. then he makes sure to badger the barista on bar so his foam is super, super stiff and demands that it rises at least three inches above the rim of his mug.
so in reality he's getting a venti cappuccino, but only ends up spending the amount of a tall misto, minus the cup discount. and the kicker is he'll make the barista remake it until the foam peak is EXACTLY to his liking.
this bux must be known for being soft on policy because later in the day three jr. high kids came in and begged for pastries, although they had no money.
and the register partner GAVE them free pastries because according to her "they're so annoying, i'd rather give them free stuff so they leave rather than have to listen to them whine for an hour."
wow, she's gonna make a great parent.
barista rant: don't accuse me of stealing your money just because you lost your wallet in my bux. especially if you lost it three days earlier and only just recently noticed it missing. don't label us baristas as thieves because you can't keep track of your belongings. and don't blame us for the fact that none of our customers turned it in.
they were the older couple who asked for extra cups, water, coffee "refills" and always tried to get everything for free.
well, the moochers haven't been around since we quit giving them freebies. imagine my surprise when i covered a shift at a different bux and i saw the moochers heading towards the register!
"you know about these two, right?" i whispered to the register partner before the moochers made it to the counter.
"oh my god!" register partner gave me a look and wrinkled her nose. "i HATE these two!"
"well, make sure they know they have to pay for what they order." i told her before i went back to bar.
of course the moochers pulled out all the stops with register partner when she told them they would have to pay regular price for their coffee. and of course register partner fell for it all and charged them for only one refill, when they should have been charged for two grande drips.
besides the moochers, this bux has another infamous customer who wants to pay next to nothing for his drink.
apparently he waits until bux quits serving their mild coffee (we don't serve two different types of regular throughout the day) and asks for an extra extra foamy mild misto in his commuter mug.
since there is no more mild coffee and he refuses to drink the bold roast, he demands two espresso shots undiluted in his mug before the milk and foam are poured over the top. then he makes sure to badger the barista on bar so his foam is super, super stiff and demands that it rises at least three inches above the rim of his mug.
so in reality he's getting a venti cappuccino, but only ends up spending the amount of a tall misto, minus the cup discount. and the kicker is he'll make the barista remake it until the foam peak is EXACTLY to his liking.
this bux must be known for being soft on policy because later in the day three jr. high kids came in and begged for pastries, although they had no money.
and the register partner GAVE them free pastries because according to her "they're so annoying, i'd rather give them free stuff so they leave rather than have to listen to them whine for an hour."
wow, she's gonna make a great parent.
barista rant: don't accuse me of stealing your money just because you lost your wallet in my bux. especially if you lost it three days earlier and only just recently noticed it missing. don't label us baristas as thieves because you can't keep track of your belongings. and don't blame us for the fact that none of our customers turned it in.
3.25.2007
still roasting
*i know i've missed a week's worth of blogging, and i hope this post brings everyone back up to speed*
here's the latest goings on at brat's bux:
- mr. whim made the talker cry.
seriously.
according to the talker, mr. whim was more abrupt that usual when asking for his drink to be remade. the talker made some comment about how mr. whim's whims always seem to change, and mr. whim shot back with a "what's it to you, fag?". so, while the talker went to the backroom to have a cry, perky assistant manager had some harsh words of her own for mr. whim.
"sir, you can take your business elsewhere. we don't serve customers who call our baristas derogatory names."
mr. whim, however, claimed he had used the word 'friend', and not 'fag'. perky assistant manager wasn't buying it, but let him off with a strict warning. i have to admit mr. whim was on his best behaviour when he came in this morning - and he didn't complain at all about his drink.
- overly amorous barista has now alienated herself from every single partner in our store. besides talking smack about her fellow baristas, she's managed to screw up every shift she's been on (by either slacking off, or by making disastrous mistakes). she's also pissed off our manager by demanding more hours, only to give up at least one of her shifts a week. i have a feeling she is on her way out.
- someone decided to leave their mark in our toilet. apparently tagging the mirror or the wooden door wasn't good enough. it's unbelievable but somebody actually drained the toilet tank so they could tag the inside of the bowl. the idiocy involved is almost comical, in my opinion.
- one of our regulars came in intoxicated and managed to hit on every one of the baristas working - boys and girls. "your ass is like two perfectly formed dumplings - i could nosh on it for days!" is what he told one of our particularly fit male baristas. "i wouldn't need a caffeine fix if i woke up to a cup of you everyday." is the bizarre comment he said to me.
- mr. split assistant manager and i have a mutual friend outside of work, which means mr. split now considers me his bux BFF. the upside is he's totally cool with me at work. the downside is having to listen to him bitch about how he can't get a girlfriend, and how all the girls that try to friend him on myspace are "total woofers". he also wants to hang together on our days off, but that is so not going to happen.
- our district manager spent an insane amount of time creating a poster and "incentive contest" for our brewing event. honestly, no one but the manager and assistant managers care about selling x-amount of coffee makers, so district manager is super upset with us baristas. not only that we are now being threatened with write-ups if we don't demo the machines at least three times per shift.
- the property manager of our shopping center has been hassling the baristas about our neighborhood SDF. i guess our property manager was trying to evict the homeless man from behind trash bin #3 - who claims "well, the starbucks people say i can stay, so i'm staying!". since the property manager has "no reason NOT to believe him!" he's been on our case about it. he's even gone as far as to suggest one of us give the homeless man a ride to the nearest shelter so that he won't be hanging around the trash bins anymore.
barista rant: what planet are you from? just because you're hungry doesn't mean you can take one of our sandwiches out of its wrapper, take three large bites and then hand us a dollar because you didn't plan on eating the whole thing. getting pissy with us when we explain that you have to pay for the entire sandwich, even if you only had three bites, will not suddenly make everything "all good".
here's the latest goings on at brat's bux:
- mr. whim made the talker cry.
seriously.
according to the talker, mr. whim was more abrupt that usual when asking for his drink to be remade. the talker made some comment about how mr. whim's whims always seem to change, and mr. whim shot back with a "what's it to you, fag?". so, while the talker went to the backroom to have a cry, perky assistant manager had some harsh words of her own for mr. whim.
"sir, you can take your business elsewhere. we don't serve customers who call our baristas derogatory names."
mr. whim, however, claimed he had used the word 'friend', and not 'fag'. perky assistant manager wasn't buying it, but let him off with a strict warning. i have to admit mr. whim was on his best behaviour when he came in this morning - and he didn't complain at all about his drink.
- overly amorous barista has now alienated herself from every single partner in our store. besides talking smack about her fellow baristas, she's managed to screw up every shift she's been on (by either slacking off, or by making disastrous mistakes). she's also pissed off our manager by demanding more hours, only to give up at least one of her shifts a week. i have a feeling she is on her way out.
- someone decided to leave their mark in our toilet. apparently tagging the mirror or the wooden door wasn't good enough. it's unbelievable but somebody actually drained the toilet tank so they could tag the inside of the bowl. the idiocy involved is almost comical, in my opinion.
- one of our regulars came in intoxicated and managed to hit on every one of the baristas working - boys and girls. "your ass is like two perfectly formed dumplings - i could nosh on it for days!" is what he told one of our particularly fit male baristas. "i wouldn't need a caffeine fix if i woke up to a cup of you everyday." is the bizarre comment he said to me.
- mr. split assistant manager and i have a mutual friend outside of work, which means mr. split now considers me his bux BFF. the upside is he's totally cool with me at work. the downside is having to listen to him bitch about how he can't get a girlfriend, and how all the girls that try to friend him on myspace are "total woofers". he also wants to hang together on our days off, but that is so not going to happen.
- our district manager spent an insane amount of time creating a poster and "incentive contest" for our brewing event. honestly, no one but the manager and assistant managers care about selling x-amount of coffee makers, so district manager is super upset with us baristas. not only that we are now being threatened with write-ups if we don't demo the machines at least three times per shift.
- the property manager of our shopping center has been hassling the baristas about our neighborhood SDF. i guess our property manager was trying to evict the homeless man from behind trash bin #3 - who claims "well, the starbucks people say i can stay, so i'm staying!". since the property manager has "no reason NOT to believe him!" he's been on our case about it. he's even gone as far as to suggest one of us give the homeless man a ride to the nearest shelter so that he won't be hanging around the trash bins anymore.
barista rant: what planet are you from? just because you're hungry doesn't mean you can take one of our sandwiches out of its wrapper, take three large bites and then hand us a dollar because you didn't plan on eating the whole thing. getting pissy with us when we explain that you have to pay for the entire sandwich, even if you only had three bites, will not suddenly make everything "all good".
3.18.2007
almost famous
dear c-list actor's annoying girlfriend,
yes, we know you're sleeping with some guy that used to be on tv, but don't expect preferential treatment because of it. you are not allowed to cut in line because you're boyfriend is double parked with the engine running. and we certainly do expect you to pause your phone conversation long enough to tell us what the hell it is you want to order.
"OH MY GAWD, YOU'D NEVER BELIEVE WHAT MY MAN BOUGHT ME! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DIE WHEN YOU SEE IT! I'D BEEN TELLING HIM FOR MONTHS WHAT I WANTED AND HE - tai chi, non-dairy - FINALLY CAME HOME WITH THE BLUE BOX YESTERDAY! " is not a drink we carry at bux.
neither is a 'tai chi, non-dairy'.
responding to the question 'what size would you like?' by tossing a five-dollar bill at us does not inspire us to 'chop, chop!' when making your drink. bitching at the barista because he was supposed to read your mind and know you wanted your non-existent drink iced does not merit a free drink coupon. nor will yelling into your phone: "I HATE THIS FUCKING STARBUCKS! THE WORKERS ARE SO RUDE AND SLOW AND OBVIOUSLY JEALOUS BECAUSE THEY SAW ME AND MY BOYFRIEND PULL UP IN HIS NEW MERCEDES!"
throwing your straw wrapper on the floor as you left was a particularly eloquent parting gesture.
trust us, all the baristas here hope you make good on your promise to "FIND ANOTHER STARBUCKS TO GO TO - WHERE THEY ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A TAI CHI NON-DAIRY IS!".
signed,
the bux baristas who'd rather clean the drains with our tongues than swap spit with c-list actor.
barista rant: i know the bux down the street closes an hour later than we do, but that doesn't mean you can repeatedly tug at our locked door and ask us to let you in. when we mouth the words 'we're closed' to you and point to our hours of operation, that is not an invitation to debate us about what time YOU'D like us to stay open until. calling us on your cell to continue the debate is not advised, either. nor is complaining that our interior lights are not dimmed, and are therefore 'misleading the public into believing you guys are still open'. really, sir, with all the time you took to bitch at us, you would have already been at the other bux enjoying your beverage.
yes, we know you're sleeping with some guy that used to be on tv, but don't expect preferential treatment because of it. you are not allowed to cut in line because you're boyfriend is double parked with the engine running. and we certainly do expect you to pause your phone conversation long enough to tell us what the hell it is you want to order.
"OH MY GAWD, YOU'D NEVER BELIEVE WHAT MY MAN BOUGHT ME! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DIE WHEN YOU SEE IT! I'D BEEN TELLING HIM FOR MONTHS WHAT I WANTED AND HE - tai chi, non-dairy - FINALLY CAME HOME WITH THE BLUE BOX YESTERDAY! " is not a drink we carry at bux.
neither is a 'tai chi, non-dairy'.
responding to the question 'what size would you like?' by tossing a five-dollar bill at us does not inspire us to 'chop, chop!' when making your drink. bitching at the barista because he was supposed to read your mind and know you wanted your non-existent drink iced does not merit a free drink coupon. nor will yelling into your phone: "I HATE THIS FUCKING STARBUCKS! THE WORKERS ARE SO RUDE AND SLOW AND OBVIOUSLY JEALOUS BECAUSE THEY SAW ME AND MY BOYFRIEND PULL UP IN HIS NEW MERCEDES!"
throwing your straw wrapper on the floor as you left was a particularly eloquent parting gesture.
trust us, all the baristas here hope you make good on your promise to "FIND ANOTHER STARBUCKS TO GO TO - WHERE THEY ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A TAI CHI NON-DAIRY IS!".
signed,
the bux baristas who'd rather clean the drains with our tongues than swap spit with c-list actor.
barista rant: i know the bux down the street closes an hour later than we do, but that doesn't mean you can repeatedly tug at our locked door and ask us to let you in. when we mouth the words 'we're closed' to you and point to our hours of operation, that is not an invitation to debate us about what time YOU'D like us to stay open until. calling us on your cell to continue the debate is not advised, either. nor is complaining that our interior lights are not dimmed, and are therefore 'misleading the public into believing you guys are still open'. really, sir, with all the time you took to bitch at us, you would have already been at the other bux enjoying your beverage.
3.15.2007
brewing blues
yesterday i had an exceptionally good day at work. not only did mr. split personality assistant manager turn over a totally amazing shift, my manager has been going out of his way to make sure his baristas are getting the hours they need. he’s even found shifts for us at other stores, which really is going above and beyond.
we also have two newbies who are super fast learners, and a third newbie who isn’t catching on as fast as we’d all like, but is putting every effort forth to get the job done. so even with newbies and newly transferred assistant manager, my little bux is starting to feel like very harmonious environment.
but (and you all knew there was a ‘but’ coming, didn’t you?) we are now having our brewing event.
bux has a brewing event every year and basically this is one time the execs in seattle ask us to REALLY push our espresso and coffee makers.
i am not a fan of the brewing event and here’s why:
1. there is a reason i’m not a car salesman. i abhor ‘selling’ a product to a consumer. what i love about being a barista is the customer comes to me, orders what they want, and i make it. i don’t have to approach them, chat them up, and pray that they’re willing to drop a grand on an espresso maker so that i can pay my rent.
2. it’s hard enough to pull a barista off the floor to grind some beans in the middle of a rush. what’s worse is to have a barista off the floor for twenty minutes to demo a coffee machine to a customer who really isn’t interested in buying it anyway.
3. it’s a bit of a sham. they want us to entice customers to drop a lot of money on an item bux doesn’t really want them to use. honestly, if everyone made their own coffee and espresso, bux wouldn’t be as profitable a company as it is.
the one item i feel comfortable pushing during the brewing event is the french press.
why?
because they’re relatively inexpensive, and it’s very difficult to get french pressed coffee in a café (plus it tastes SO much better than regular drip coffee), so i don’t feel bad about peddling a french press because i truly believe in the product and bux doesn’t prepare coffee in this manner (well, unless you specifically request it, and even though the barista will smile and says ‘no problem!’ they are cursing you inwardly).
of course i’m going to be a good sport and demo machines when customers ask about them as well as offering to explain why our coffee makers are superior to those you find in the grocery market. but i’m really glad i only have to do it once a year.
partner rant: please don’t tell newbies, ‘oh, you don’t have to really clean that – just wipe it down. brat cleaned it last night so we don’t have to do it tonight.’ don’t pass on your bad habits to newbies, and don’t tell them they can half-ass things if i’ve worked the night before. that’s just wrong on every level.
we also have two newbies who are super fast learners, and a third newbie who isn’t catching on as fast as we’d all like, but is putting every effort forth to get the job done. so even with newbies and newly transferred assistant manager, my little bux is starting to feel like very harmonious environment.
but (and you all knew there was a ‘but’ coming, didn’t you?) we are now having our brewing event.
bux has a brewing event every year and basically this is one time the execs in seattle ask us to REALLY push our espresso and coffee makers.
i am not a fan of the brewing event and here’s why:
1. there is a reason i’m not a car salesman. i abhor ‘selling’ a product to a consumer. what i love about being a barista is the customer comes to me, orders what they want, and i make it. i don’t have to approach them, chat them up, and pray that they’re willing to drop a grand on an espresso maker so that i can pay my rent.
2. it’s hard enough to pull a barista off the floor to grind some beans in the middle of a rush. what’s worse is to have a barista off the floor for twenty minutes to demo a coffee machine to a customer who really isn’t interested in buying it anyway.
3. it’s a bit of a sham. they want us to entice customers to drop a lot of money on an item bux doesn’t really want them to use. honestly, if everyone made their own coffee and espresso, bux wouldn’t be as profitable a company as it is.
the one item i feel comfortable pushing during the brewing event is the french press.
why?
because they’re relatively inexpensive, and it’s very difficult to get french pressed coffee in a café (plus it tastes SO much better than regular drip coffee), so i don’t feel bad about peddling a french press because i truly believe in the product and bux doesn’t prepare coffee in this manner (well, unless you specifically request it, and even though the barista will smile and says ‘no problem!’ they are cursing you inwardly).
of course i’m going to be a good sport and demo machines when customers ask about them as well as offering to explain why our coffee makers are superior to those you find in the grocery market. but i’m really glad i only have to do it once a year.
partner rant: please don’t tell newbies, ‘oh, you don’t have to really clean that – just wipe it down. brat cleaned it last night so we don’t have to do it tonight.’ don’t pass on your bad habits to newbies, and don’t tell them they can half-ass things if i’ve worked the night before. that’s just wrong on every level.
3.11.2007
turkish delight
on saturday we had one of the most obnoxious scammers i've ever encountered.
honestly, at first she came across as a sweet elementary school teacher - chatting with us a bit and asking us what coffee roast we recommended. after a couple minutes she decided to buy two pounds of espresso roast.
"can you grind them up real fine for me?" she asked.
"sure, did you want it ground for an espresso maker, or finer than that?" i asked before i opened the bags.
"grind it for turkish." she nodded at me.
and like i always do, i verified the grind with her before i poured the beans into the grinder.
barista buddy gave the woman her total, but she hemmed and hawed until i'd finished grinding the beans. as soon as i handed them to her she re-opened each package and sighed heavily.
"this is the wrong grind!" she frowned.
"you asked for turkish grind," i reminded her.
"no," she shook her head. "i wanted it fine, but not this fine. this is wrong."
barista buddy and i exchanged sour looks, knowing full well we both weren't hard of hearing.
"what did you want them ground for?" i asked, trying to keep my voice pleasant sounding.
"they're espresso beans!" she rolled her eyes. "obviously i want them ground for an espresso maker!"
so i pulled two more pounds of espresso off the display and triple verified that she wanted them ground for espresso.
"forget it," she told me. "just give me the beans and i'll grind them at home."
so barista buddy puts the two pounds of whole beans in a bag for her and again gives her the total.
"these were my beans," she lied. "i brought them from home. i just wanted you to grind them for me."
when she saw we weren't falling for her bull she decided to leave the second set of beans but tried to take the two pounds that were turkish ground.
"ma'am, you have to pay for those." i told her, this time my tone wasn't so pleasant.
"why? you're just going to throw them away anyway." she smiled, like we would somehow ignore the fact that she was trying to scam us.
"you can have them, but you have to pay for them." i told her again.
she spent another thirty seconds trying to convince us to give her the espresso for free. when we wouldn't relent she changed her tactics and began to bitch about our ineptitude and how we owed her an extra two pounds because we were the ones that screwed up.
"i'm never coming here again!" she gave us her parting shot while leaving empty-handed. "you guys are thieves!"
later barista buddy and i concluded she must be suffering from some affliction; her attempt to scam us was too bizarre and drawn out. or maybe she was doing recon for when she and her partner in crime go on a bux scamming spree.
who knows.
customer rant: i pray that you were joking when you said "you clean it!" and tossed a rag at the customer who informed you that the bathroom was dirty. i seriously hope you know the guy, or even that he was an off duty barista - because if he really was a customer i can bet he will be calling the corporate offices to complain.
honestly, at first she came across as a sweet elementary school teacher - chatting with us a bit and asking us what coffee roast we recommended. after a couple minutes she decided to buy two pounds of espresso roast.
"can you grind them up real fine for me?" she asked.
"sure, did you want it ground for an espresso maker, or finer than that?" i asked before i opened the bags.
"grind it for turkish." she nodded at me.
and like i always do, i verified the grind with her before i poured the beans into the grinder.
barista buddy gave the woman her total, but she hemmed and hawed until i'd finished grinding the beans. as soon as i handed them to her she re-opened each package and sighed heavily.
"this is the wrong grind!" she frowned.
"you asked for turkish grind," i reminded her.
"no," she shook her head. "i wanted it fine, but not this fine. this is wrong."
barista buddy and i exchanged sour looks, knowing full well we both weren't hard of hearing.
"what did you want them ground for?" i asked, trying to keep my voice pleasant sounding.
"they're espresso beans!" she rolled her eyes. "obviously i want them ground for an espresso maker!"
so i pulled two more pounds of espresso off the display and triple verified that she wanted them ground for espresso.
"forget it," she told me. "just give me the beans and i'll grind them at home."
so barista buddy puts the two pounds of whole beans in a bag for her and again gives her the total.
"these were my beans," she lied. "i brought them from home. i just wanted you to grind them for me."
when she saw we weren't falling for her bull she decided to leave the second set of beans but tried to take the two pounds that were turkish ground.
"ma'am, you have to pay for those." i told her, this time my tone wasn't so pleasant.
"why? you're just going to throw them away anyway." she smiled, like we would somehow ignore the fact that she was trying to scam us.
"you can have them, but you have to pay for them." i told her again.
she spent another thirty seconds trying to convince us to give her the espresso for free. when we wouldn't relent she changed her tactics and began to bitch about our ineptitude and how we owed her an extra two pounds because we were the ones that screwed up.
"i'm never coming here again!" she gave us her parting shot while leaving empty-handed. "you guys are thieves!"
later barista buddy and i concluded she must be suffering from some affliction; her attempt to scam us was too bizarre and drawn out. or maybe she was doing recon for when she and her partner in crime go on a bux scamming spree.
who knows.
customer rant: i pray that you were joking when you said "you clean it!" and tossed a rag at the customer who informed you that the bathroom was dirty. i seriously hope you know the guy, or even that he was an off duty barista - because if he really was a customer i can bet he will be calling the corporate offices to complain.
3.07.2007
convenient for who?
i've ranted before about newbies that take waaaaaay too long to learn and master their barista duties - but sometimes it's the seasoned 'old-timers' who are guilty of slacking or cutting corners. in fact - seasoned baristas are the hardest to re-train. they are so stuck in their own personal ways and are resistant to change.
it doesn't matter if you point out how the proper way to do things is more efficient - they'd rather waste time and energy doing it they way they've always done it. sure, it's convenient for them to stay stuck in their ways, but it makes more work for the rest of us.
convenience #1 - rinsing out blender cups
i've ranted before about partners who throw blender lids into the sink without rinsing them, but worse than dirty lids are dirty blender cups. now you'd think a barista that has been with bux for more than two frappuccino seasons would understand that tossing dirty blender cups into a sink will only lead to more work when the next customer orders a frappuccino. and that it is gross and nasty to pull a dirty blender cup from the sink that is covered in coffee grinds, old whipped cream and lukewarm milk. and that it means we have to sanitize the damn thing several times an hour (as opposed to the usual rinsing).
convenience #2 - leaving all singles in your till
i know it's a lot easier to drop four five-dollar bills as opposed to twenty singles, but why the hell would you leave your till with only singles for the next register partner? when you finished tilling out did you not notice that you had no fives and all singles? and if you had some sort of brain fart and forgot to leave your till with the correct change, at least tell the manager so he can change the till out.
convenience #3 - leaving empty trays in the pastry case
why is it so hard to pull out an empty tray? especially if you take the last pastry off the tray to give a customer? don't you realize we get marked down for empty trays in the case? don't you realize it only takes about 2.1 seconds to yank that tray from the case? and don't you realize that you're setting the WORST example for the newbies when you leave a job half done?
convenience #4 - leaving a messy bar
i know it's impossible to keep the bar neat and clean every second, especially during a busy rush. but there are those times when there's only a couple customers in line and you don't have any drinks on deck. how hard is it to wipe down the counter, rinse out the pitchers, fill the hopper and clean the steam wand? even if you can't do all those things, can't you at least do one or two? why must you leave disgusting, crusty milk on the steam wands? what's the logic in leaving the hoppers empty? when the bar was handed over to you, it was fully stocked and clean - so why do you feel you are above leaving it prepped and clean for the next barista?
convenience #5 - not stocking the condiment bar
yeah, i know it's a neverending mission: keeping the condiment bar stocked and clean. but in our bux (and every other bux in my district) it is standard for you to fill the condiment bar before you go on break, lunch or go home. taking a rag and doing a one-swipe-wipe is not 'cleaning'. checking that the sugar container is half filled is not 'stocking'. and pushing the trash down further in the can is not 'changing the trash'.
convenience #6 - leaving trash single-bagged
i know it takes, like, an extra minute to empty the trash and line the can with two bags. yeah, i know you're saving yourself precious seconds when you decide to pull only the one bag out and leave the second bag in. but do you realize how much time is spent cleaning the trash can after the single bag splits and all the contents come pouring out? do you realize that now we have to clean the trash from off the floor and inside the can (which means we have to cart the can outside to rinse and dry it)? and that your 'shortcut' will leave us with one less person on the floor because someone has to clean up after your 'convenience'?
barista rant: don't tell me to grind your beans on "number three" if you don't want your beans ground for an espresso machine. don't tell me you want the beans ground for a french press, then insist that i keep the setting and "number three". LISTEN when i tell you what each setting is. don't nod, say "ok" and then add "but i want it for a french press on number three".
it doesn't matter if you point out how the proper way to do things is more efficient - they'd rather waste time and energy doing it they way they've always done it. sure, it's convenient for them to stay stuck in their ways, but it makes more work for the rest of us.
convenience #1 - rinsing out blender cups
i've ranted before about partners who throw blender lids into the sink without rinsing them, but worse than dirty lids are dirty blender cups. now you'd think a barista that has been with bux for more than two frappuccino seasons would understand that tossing dirty blender cups into a sink will only lead to more work when the next customer orders a frappuccino. and that it is gross and nasty to pull a dirty blender cup from the sink that is covered in coffee grinds, old whipped cream and lukewarm milk. and that it means we have to sanitize the damn thing several times an hour (as opposed to the usual rinsing).
convenience #2 - leaving all singles in your till
i know it's a lot easier to drop four five-dollar bills as opposed to twenty singles, but why the hell would you leave your till with only singles for the next register partner? when you finished tilling out did you not notice that you had no fives and all singles? and if you had some sort of brain fart and forgot to leave your till with the correct change, at least tell the manager so he can change the till out.
convenience #3 - leaving empty trays in the pastry case
why is it so hard to pull out an empty tray? especially if you take the last pastry off the tray to give a customer? don't you realize we get marked down for empty trays in the case? don't you realize it only takes about 2.1 seconds to yank that tray from the case? and don't you realize that you're setting the WORST example for the newbies when you leave a job half done?
convenience #4 - leaving a messy bar
i know it's impossible to keep the bar neat and clean every second, especially during a busy rush. but there are those times when there's only a couple customers in line and you don't have any drinks on deck. how hard is it to wipe down the counter, rinse out the pitchers, fill the hopper and clean the steam wand? even if you can't do all those things, can't you at least do one or two? why must you leave disgusting, crusty milk on the steam wands? what's the logic in leaving the hoppers empty? when the bar was handed over to you, it was fully stocked and clean - so why do you feel you are above leaving it prepped and clean for the next barista?
convenience #5 - not stocking the condiment bar
yeah, i know it's a neverending mission: keeping the condiment bar stocked and clean. but in our bux (and every other bux in my district) it is standard for you to fill the condiment bar before you go on break, lunch or go home. taking a rag and doing a one-swipe-wipe is not 'cleaning'. checking that the sugar container is half filled is not 'stocking'. and pushing the trash down further in the can is not 'changing the trash'.
convenience #6 - leaving trash single-bagged
i know it takes, like, an extra minute to empty the trash and line the can with two bags. yeah, i know you're saving yourself precious seconds when you decide to pull only the one bag out and leave the second bag in. but do you realize how much time is spent cleaning the trash can after the single bag splits and all the contents come pouring out? do you realize that now we have to clean the trash from off the floor and inside the can (which means we have to cart the can outside to rinse and dry it)? and that your 'shortcut' will leave us with one less person on the floor because someone has to clean up after your 'convenience'?
barista rant: don't tell me to grind your beans on "number three" if you don't want your beans ground for an espresso machine. don't tell me you want the beans ground for a french press, then insist that i keep the setting and "number three". LISTEN when i tell you what each setting is. don't nod, say "ok" and then add "but i want it for a french press on number three".
3.04.2007
message in a (frappuccino) bottle
*happy bloggerversary to me!*
i can't believe a year has passed since i first started posting, but here we are: 200 posts and 270,000 hits! thanks to everyone for making my blogging experience so successful. i appreciate each and every one of you.
- back to our regularly scheduled post -
some of you might have heard some buzz about a leaked memo from howard schultz to bux ceo jim donald.
of course there's been much talk about this in my own store, as well as every other corporate owned store. one of the gratifying things to learn was that howard schultz has many of the same concerns we lowly baristas have. it feels almost satisfying to know that even his eye (all the way in seattle) is capable of recognizing key issues the rest of us at store level have been dealing with for months (years, for some).
do i think this (now very public) memo will change things for the better at bux?
dare i hope that howard will do away with excess syrups and powders?
will we finally be permitted to pack up that monstrous convection oven and send it back to whatever cruel animal sent it our way?
yeah, right.
a big fat NO to all those questions.
i'm not afraid to say bux now feels like an entirely different company from the one that hired me. when i was a newbie we never had understaffing issues, we had plenty of room for all our product, and we never felt like we were heading away from 'cafe' and speeding towards 'donut shop'. now we have more drinks, more pastries, and more ways for customers to customize beverages to their hearts' content. we offer so many more choices and are pressured to complete the orders in record time (long gone are the days of timing a perfect shot).
and even though howard schultz knows that his operational decisions have created their own unique set of challenges, it does not mean he will be able to fix them.
why?
because bux caters to a different type of customer now. and these customers will not accept service delays or minimal beverage choices. they prefer quantity over quality - and they are willing to pay for it. so even if bux did everything in their power to woo back their original customer base, they wouldn't be nearly as profitable as they are now. and we all can bet our little tushies that "profit" will beat out "nostalgia" when it comes to our favorite corporate coffee slinger.
but i know that as a barista i am also reaping the rewards of profitability. medical benefits, stock options, discounted stock purchases, 401k, high pay raises and the opportunity to advance are only possible because i work for a company that rakes in the dough. sure, i may think fondly of my early days at bux - i might even occasionally be envious of the hipster barista at my local independent coffee house - until i think of all the things i'd have to give up to work there. that's when i remember i have nothing to be envious of.
so, i'd like to pose a question to you all:
would you be willing to give up efficiency and speed for 'the warm feeling of a neighborhood store'?
barista rant: don't ask us to put a mug on hold for you, neglect to purchase it every time you come in the store, then expect us to give you a super discount when you decide to buy it three weeks later. and don't ask us to put it on hold (again!) until it gets marked down.
i can't believe a year has passed since i first started posting, but here we are: 200 posts and 270,000 hits! thanks to everyone for making my blogging experience so successful. i appreciate each and every one of you.
- back to our regularly scheduled post -
some of you might have heard some buzz about a leaked memo from howard schultz to bux ceo jim donald.
of course there's been much talk about this in my own store, as well as every other corporate owned store. one of the gratifying things to learn was that howard schultz has many of the same concerns we lowly baristas have. it feels almost satisfying to know that even his eye (all the way in seattle) is capable of recognizing key issues the rest of us at store level have been dealing with for months (years, for some).
do i think this (now very public) memo will change things for the better at bux?
dare i hope that howard will do away with excess syrups and powders?
will we finally be permitted to pack up that monstrous convection oven and send it back to whatever cruel animal sent it our way?
yeah, right.
a big fat NO to all those questions.
i'm not afraid to say bux now feels like an entirely different company from the one that hired me. when i was a newbie we never had understaffing issues, we had plenty of room for all our product, and we never felt like we were heading away from 'cafe' and speeding towards 'donut shop'. now we have more drinks, more pastries, and more ways for customers to customize beverages to their hearts' content. we offer so many more choices and are pressured to complete the orders in record time (long gone are the days of timing a perfect shot).
and even though howard schultz knows that his operational decisions have created their own unique set of challenges, it does not mean he will be able to fix them.
why?
because bux caters to a different type of customer now. and these customers will not accept service delays or minimal beverage choices. they prefer quantity over quality - and they are willing to pay for it. so even if bux did everything in their power to woo back their original customer base, they wouldn't be nearly as profitable as they are now. and we all can bet our little tushies that "profit" will beat out "nostalgia" when it comes to our favorite corporate coffee slinger.
but i know that as a barista i am also reaping the rewards of profitability. medical benefits, stock options, discounted stock purchases, 401k, high pay raises and the opportunity to advance are only possible because i work for a company that rakes in the dough. sure, i may think fondly of my early days at bux - i might even occasionally be envious of the hipster barista at my local independent coffee house - until i think of all the things i'd have to give up to work there. that's when i remember i have nothing to be envious of.
so, i'd like to pose a question to you all:
would you be willing to give up efficiency and speed for 'the warm feeling of a neighborhood store'?
barista rant: don't ask us to put a mug on hold for you, neglect to purchase it every time you come in the store, then expect us to give you a super discount when you decide to buy it three weeks later. and don't ask us to put it on hold (again!) until it gets marked down.
3.01.2007
ickity split
we have a new addition to our little bux family: split-personality assistant manager.
it seems our business has steadily increased since fall, so now we are being ‘blessed’ with an additional manager at the store, which means forty less hours for those of us that are part time.
some of us are pretty lucky – in fact my usually scheduled hours weren’t affected, but we have a few partners that are now getting 7-10 less hours a week than they usually get. the two raising the biggest fuss about it are bitter old man and the newbie-formerly-known-as-amorous (are you really surprised?).
actually BOD is always raising a stink about his schedule. he feels that since he opened this bux, he’s entitled to work m-f, 6am-1pm. tnfkaa doesn’t have any specific reasoning for her desired schedule, except that she’s selfish and has no problem whining and bitching until she gets things her way. i have a feeling that our manager wanted to knock them both down a peg or two and thought an effective way to do it was by taking away some of their hours.
no matter what the thought process was, BOD is now complaining non-stop about how bux has no loyalty to ‘one of their own’. tkfkaa is trying to pressure newer newbies into giving up their shifts so she can get the extra hours. and caught in the middle of all this is our new split-personality assistant manager.
mr. split has been with bux for almost two years. he worked his way up the food chain and is now a brand-new assistant manager. but because he’s been in this role for barely a week, he’s having a really hard time deciding which hat he wants to wear while at work.
when the talker came in to pick up tips on his day off, mr. split offered him a free drink.
“hey, i’ve been around – i know what the deal is!” mr. split said in reference to going against policy.
but when my barista buddy marked out a cheese danish to eat on his break, mr. split turned into the pastry police.
“hey man, you can’t just be marking out pastries when you’re hungry.” mr. split told him harshly. “that’s money out of my paycheck, now that i’m a manager. every time you mark something out, that goes against the bottom line – and the bottom line is how i get my bonus.”
“but all the am pastries are supposed to be marked out and thrown away already. how does it hurt you if it goes in my belly instead of the trash?” barista buddy asked.
“it doesn’t matter,” mr. split shook his head. “how can i be sure that you’re only marking out pastries that are supposed to be discarded? for all i know you’re marking out thermoses and coffee beans, and that’s money out of my paycheck.”
every single one of his shifts has been like this – with him constantly oscillating between two personas: the cool barista and the hard-line manager.
maybe in time he’ll pick just one, but for now he’s still mr. split.
customer rant: since i’m a barista, i’m very accommodating as a customer. for instance, when you said that you were out of regular drip coffee and i’d have to wait four minutes for a rebrew, i said “no problem”. but when you walked over to the decaf drip, poured me a cup and then tried to pass it off as regular, i had to call you on it. first you tried to deny pouring the decaf, and then you said the signs were mixed up and you really had given me regular. but you know what? if you’d just asked me if i was ok with decaf instead of regular, i would’ve said ‘yes’. but since you lied to me (more than once!) i turned into a pissy customer and asked that you rebrew the decaf as well as the regular “you know, since YOU said the signs were mixed up and all.”
it seems our business has steadily increased since fall, so now we are being ‘blessed’ with an additional manager at the store, which means forty less hours for those of us that are part time.
some of us are pretty lucky – in fact my usually scheduled hours weren’t affected, but we have a few partners that are now getting 7-10 less hours a week than they usually get. the two raising the biggest fuss about it are bitter old man and the newbie-formerly-known-as-amorous (are you really surprised?).
actually BOD is always raising a stink about his schedule. he feels that since he opened this bux, he’s entitled to work m-f, 6am-1pm. tnfkaa doesn’t have any specific reasoning for her desired schedule, except that she’s selfish and has no problem whining and bitching until she gets things her way. i have a feeling that our manager wanted to knock them both down a peg or two and thought an effective way to do it was by taking away some of their hours.
no matter what the thought process was, BOD is now complaining non-stop about how bux has no loyalty to ‘one of their own’. tkfkaa is trying to pressure newer newbies into giving up their shifts so she can get the extra hours. and caught in the middle of all this is our new split-personality assistant manager.
mr. split has been with bux for almost two years. he worked his way up the food chain and is now a brand-new assistant manager. but because he’s been in this role for barely a week, he’s having a really hard time deciding which hat he wants to wear while at work.
when the talker came in to pick up tips on his day off, mr. split offered him a free drink.
“hey, i’ve been around – i know what the deal is!” mr. split said in reference to going against policy.
but when my barista buddy marked out a cheese danish to eat on his break, mr. split turned into the pastry police.
“hey man, you can’t just be marking out pastries when you’re hungry.” mr. split told him harshly. “that’s money out of my paycheck, now that i’m a manager. every time you mark something out, that goes against the bottom line – and the bottom line is how i get my bonus.”
“but all the am pastries are supposed to be marked out and thrown away already. how does it hurt you if it goes in my belly instead of the trash?” barista buddy asked.
“it doesn’t matter,” mr. split shook his head. “how can i be sure that you’re only marking out pastries that are supposed to be discarded? for all i know you’re marking out thermoses and coffee beans, and that’s money out of my paycheck.”
every single one of his shifts has been like this – with him constantly oscillating between two personas: the cool barista and the hard-line manager.
maybe in time he’ll pick just one, but for now he’s still mr. split.
customer rant: since i’m a barista, i’m very accommodating as a customer. for instance, when you said that you were out of regular drip coffee and i’d have to wait four minutes for a rebrew, i said “no problem”. but when you walked over to the decaf drip, poured me a cup and then tried to pass it off as regular, i had to call you on it. first you tried to deny pouring the decaf, and then you said the signs were mixed up and you really had given me regular. but you know what? if you’d just asked me if i was ok with decaf instead of regular, i would’ve said ‘yes’. but since you lied to me (more than once!) i turned into a pissy customer and asked that you rebrew the decaf as well as the regular “you know, since YOU said the signs were mixed up and all.”
2.27.2007
tipper more
sorry for the lack of new posts.
there has been a nasty virus making its way throughout my district. luckily i escaped its wrath (this time) but my week was spent working overtime to help out my bed-ridden brethren.
apparently it was clear to our customers that we were short-staffed (and working our little green apron tails off) because our tip jars were overflowing!
now, i am NEVER one to complain when a customer leaves us a tip, but i noticed that people seemed overly-generous to us baristas this past week.
big tipper #1 -
a woman came in ten minutes before we closed and asked if we had any chocolate chip cookies left. i informed her that we had already sold out of them for the day and listed off the pastries we had left. the woman decided against buying a snack, but ordered a kids' hot chocolate for her daughter. she paid $1.05 for the beverage and then stuffed two singles into our tip jar. two singles! on a tab that was just over a buck! and we didn't even have the product she initially came in for!
big tipper #2 -
a lady came into my bux with her dog. i promptly, and nicely, told her that the dog couldn't stay in the store, but i would be happy to take her drink and change out to her once her beverage was ready. she handed me her credit card, went back outside with her dog and waited for her drink to be made. just as i told her i would, i brought her the latte, credit card and receipt. i thought that was the end of it, but she was back at our door twenty minutes later, motioning for me to come outside.
"here, this is for you," she smiled and handed me a five dollar bill.
"oh, thank you, but you didn't have to do this!" i told her honestly.
"i know, but you deserve it." she said before she and her dog walked away.
of course i put the fiver in the tip jar to share with my fellow baristas.
big tipper #3 -
one of our regular customers was a few cents short for his venti mocha.
"don't worry about it," my barista buddy told him. "i can cover the rest for you."
barista buddy pulled out the correct change from his pocket and added it to his register so he wouldn't be short at the end of his shift.
"i'll pay you back when i come in later today," regular customer offered, but barista buddy just waved him off.
as promised, regular customer came back a couple hours later and handed some change to barista buddy.
"that's for you," he said before reaching into his pocket. "and this is for everyone because you guys always do such a great job." he pushed a handful of singles into the tip jar.
big tipper #4 -
a woman came in and wanted to purchase thirty ten-dollar gift cards. there was only two of us baristas on the floor, and although time-consuming, we cheerfully went ahead and activated all thirty cards. before she handed us her credit card as payment she asked if she could add on two more cards (meanwhile the line behind her was growing). finally her transaction was complete - but before she left she handed us each a gift card for ten dollars for "our troubles".
let me tell you - NOTHING brightens a barista's crazy work week more than generous tips. and no - this is not any sort of plea or request for people to tip more often. it's just a way for me to express how greatly appreciative we baristas are that people are willing to pad our tip jar.
partner rant: yes, i know you say you're sick. i know working when you're sick is anything but fun or healthy - that's why i was willing to cover your shift for you. but if you really are "soooo sick" that you need me to come in for you, why the hell did you come by the store and hang out for an hour? and if you weren't "soooo sick" then at least do me the courtesy of letting me believe you're home puking your guts out, ok?
there has been a nasty virus making its way throughout my district. luckily i escaped its wrath (this time) but my week was spent working overtime to help out my bed-ridden brethren.
apparently it was clear to our customers that we were short-staffed (and working our little green apron tails off) because our tip jars were overflowing!
now, i am NEVER one to complain when a customer leaves us a tip, but i noticed that people seemed overly-generous to us baristas this past week.
big tipper #1 -
a woman came in ten minutes before we closed and asked if we had any chocolate chip cookies left. i informed her that we had already sold out of them for the day and listed off the pastries we had left. the woman decided against buying a snack, but ordered a kids' hot chocolate for her daughter. she paid $1.05 for the beverage and then stuffed two singles into our tip jar. two singles! on a tab that was just over a buck! and we didn't even have the product she initially came in for!
big tipper #2 -
a lady came into my bux with her dog. i promptly, and nicely, told her that the dog couldn't stay in the store, but i would be happy to take her drink and change out to her once her beverage was ready. she handed me her credit card, went back outside with her dog and waited for her drink to be made. just as i told her i would, i brought her the latte, credit card and receipt. i thought that was the end of it, but she was back at our door twenty minutes later, motioning for me to come outside.
"here, this is for you," she smiled and handed me a five dollar bill.
"oh, thank you, but you didn't have to do this!" i told her honestly.
"i know, but you deserve it." she said before she and her dog walked away.
of course i put the fiver in the tip jar to share with my fellow baristas.
big tipper #3 -
one of our regular customers was a few cents short for his venti mocha.
"don't worry about it," my barista buddy told him. "i can cover the rest for you."
barista buddy pulled out the correct change from his pocket and added it to his register so he wouldn't be short at the end of his shift.
"i'll pay you back when i come in later today," regular customer offered, but barista buddy just waved him off.
as promised, regular customer came back a couple hours later and handed some change to barista buddy.
"that's for you," he said before reaching into his pocket. "and this is for everyone because you guys always do such a great job." he pushed a handful of singles into the tip jar.
big tipper #4 -
a woman came in and wanted to purchase thirty ten-dollar gift cards. there was only two of us baristas on the floor, and although time-consuming, we cheerfully went ahead and activated all thirty cards. before she handed us her credit card as payment she asked if she could add on two more cards (meanwhile the line behind her was growing). finally her transaction was complete - but before she left she handed us each a gift card for ten dollars for "our troubles".
let me tell you - NOTHING brightens a barista's crazy work week more than generous tips. and no - this is not any sort of plea or request for people to tip more often. it's just a way for me to express how greatly appreciative we baristas are that people are willing to pad our tip jar.
partner rant: yes, i know you say you're sick. i know working when you're sick is anything but fun or healthy - that's why i was willing to cover your shift for you. but if you really are "soooo sick" that you need me to come in for you, why the hell did you come by the store and hang out for an hour? and if you weren't "soooo sick" then at least do me the courtesy of letting me believe you're home puking your guts out, ok?
2.20.2007
"aww, that's racist." - david brent, the office
today a partner from another store covered a shift at my bux.
i'd never worked with the guy before, but bitter old dude gave me a cryptic warning about him.
"the less you say, the happier you will be," he told me before clocking out for the day.
when the shift-covering partner arrived, he seemed harmless enough. very bubbly, very flamboyant and very chatty. i quickly realized he must be his store's version of 'the talker', but i didn't realize he was also much, much more than that.
"hi brat!" shift-coverer introduced himself to me. "i'm the fatter, gayer augustus gloop!"
i kid you not - this is the first thing he said to me.
our shift together moved along pretty smoothly, even though he had one of the worst cases of verbal diarrhea i've ever seen. but things changed while i was conversing with a regular.
"so brat, they never give you a day off, do they?" mr. regular asked me good-naturedly.
"yeah, they have me slaving away over this hot bar!" i joked back.
mr. regular chatted a little longer with me before he left - that's when the fatter, gayer augustus gloop chastised me.
"i can't believe how insensitive you are," he shook his head at me.
"why, what happened?" i asked, curious as to what i did to offend whomever it was that was offended.
"you just said 'slaving away' while there was an african-american in the lobby!"
i was honestly taken aback.
was the customer really offended by my banter with mr. regular?
"did he say something to you about it?" i asked shift-coverer.
"no."
"did he look upset about it?"
"no."
"so how do you know it bothered him?" i asked.
"i don't think he even heard it - but that doesn't matter because I did. you have to watch what you say because it might offend someone and you have to be sensitive to the people around you - even if you think they aren't listening."
excuse me, but wtf?!?
shift-coverer explained to me that he was a self-appointed goodwill ambassador, spreading his ideology of tolerance and diversity wherever he went.
"i'm gay," he informed me again, "and i have to deal with verbal abuse every day of my life. sometimes it's intentional and other times it's people, like you, that are so programmed to be bigoted they don't even realize they're doing it."
"you're calling me a bigot?" i asked him, pissed that he was so concerned with my language and not his own.
"i'm just saying that you can re-program yourself to use less hate speech."
i had to walk away from him if i was going to stay sane.
later he picked up where he left off, imploring me to "think before i spoke".
"well, i don't agree that the expression 'slaving away' is hate speech."
"i know you don't - and that's the problem." he said smugly - as if i'd just proven his point for him.
"well, don't you think sometimes hate is in the eye of the beholder?"
"so now you're blaming the victim?" he asked, indignant.
thankfully we were pretty busy for the rest of the shift and he didn't have time to pull out his soapbox again. and hopefully i won't have to work with the 'word police' any time in the near future.
barista rant: don't get pissy with me because i didn't drop what i was doing to get you a cup of water. yeah, you're thirsty, but there are five PAYING customers that are waiting for their drinks. you don't get priority because your drink is 'easier'. in fact, i have to leave my station at the bar, grab a cup, walk over to the ice bin, then walk over to the water dispenser just to prepare your precious drink. sorry, but you have to wait until i'm done with the drinks i'm currently waiting before i run all over the store just to please you.
i'd never worked with the guy before, but bitter old dude gave me a cryptic warning about him.
"the less you say, the happier you will be," he told me before clocking out for the day.
when the shift-covering partner arrived, he seemed harmless enough. very bubbly, very flamboyant and very chatty. i quickly realized he must be his store's version of 'the talker', but i didn't realize he was also much, much more than that.
"hi brat!" shift-coverer introduced himself to me. "i'm the fatter, gayer augustus gloop!"
i kid you not - this is the first thing he said to me.
our shift together moved along pretty smoothly, even though he had one of the worst cases of verbal diarrhea i've ever seen. but things changed while i was conversing with a regular.
"so brat, they never give you a day off, do they?" mr. regular asked me good-naturedly.
"yeah, they have me slaving away over this hot bar!" i joked back.
mr. regular chatted a little longer with me before he left - that's when the fatter, gayer augustus gloop chastised me.
"i can't believe how insensitive you are," he shook his head at me.
"why, what happened?" i asked, curious as to what i did to offend whomever it was that was offended.
"you just said 'slaving away' while there was an african-american in the lobby!"
i was honestly taken aback.
was the customer really offended by my banter with mr. regular?
"did he say something to you about it?" i asked shift-coverer.
"no."
"did he look upset about it?"
"no."
"so how do you know it bothered him?" i asked.
"i don't think he even heard it - but that doesn't matter because I did. you have to watch what you say because it might offend someone and you have to be sensitive to the people around you - even if you think they aren't listening."
excuse me, but wtf?!?
shift-coverer explained to me that he was a self-appointed goodwill ambassador, spreading his ideology of tolerance and diversity wherever he went.
"i'm gay," he informed me again, "and i have to deal with verbal abuse every day of my life. sometimes it's intentional and other times it's people, like you, that are so programmed to be bigoted they don't even realize they're doing it."
"you're calling me a bigot?" i asked him, pissed that he was so concerned with my language and not his own.
"i'm just saying that you can re-program yourself to use less hate speech."
i had to walk away from him if i was going to stay sane.
later he picked up where he left off, imploring me to "think before i spoke".
"well, i don't agree that the expression 'slaving away' is hate speech."
"i know you don't - and that's the problem." he said smugly - as if i'd just proven his point for him.
"well, don't you think sometimes hate is in the eye of the beholder?"
"so now you're blaming the victim?" he asked, indignant.
thankfully we were pretty busy for the rest of the shift and he didn't have time to pull out his soapbox again. and hopefully i won't have to work with the 'word police' any time in the near future.
barista rant: don't get pissy with me because i didn't drop what i was doing to get you a cup of water. yeah, you're thirsty, but there are five PAYING customers that are waiting for their drinks. you don't get priority because your drink is 'easier'. in fact, i have to leave my station at the bar, grab a cup, walk over to the ice bin, then walk over to the water dispenser just to prepare your precious drink. sorry, but you have to wait until i'm done with the drinks i'm currently waiting before i run all over the store just to please you.
2.18.2007
ordering for dummies
i guess when there's a three-day weekend, some people decide to give their brain cells a rest as well.
yesterday and today there was an insane amount of customers who needed a hard kick in the pants. i've ranted so many times before about customers who approach the register with no clue as to what they want to order after standing in line for five minutes. it's stupid, it's dumb and it wastes time for everyone involved.
- the phone addict
this is the customer who refuses to put the phone down long enough to order - instead opting to make us (and all the customers behind them) wait until their conversation is over. sometimes, in-between sentences they'll whisper something unintelligible to us and then toss their money on the counter, as if "decaf mumble, mumble, mumble" translates into starbonics.
- the first-timer
the newbie customer who waits until we've asked them "what can i get for you today?" to actually LOOK at our menu board. and of course a five-minute explanation of each and every one of our beverages ensues while the line gets longer and longer and longer.
- the should-know-better
this is the customer that has been to bux a million times, knows exactly how the ordering process goes, and STILL hems and haws when we ask them what they want. they giggle and smile and say "gee! i should know what i want by now, huh?" and then re-reads the menu forty times before deciding on their usual. their friggen' USUAL!
- the bottlenecker
at bux we usually have what's called a 'floater' to call down the line so the register partners don't have to take extra time to mark cups. usually it's a very efficient process, although occasionally we'll come across a customer who will demand so much attention, and ask so many questions, that we cannot fulfill our floater duties. meanwhile the register partner has already started to ring up the bottlenecker and cannot help the next customer in line. of course that means everyone behind them has to wait even longer just to order.
and my personal favorite:
- mr./ms. ultra-complex
this is the person that won't tell you what they want to order unless you have out your sharpie and have cup in your hand. problem is - if you don't tell me the size of your damn drink, or whether it's hot or iced, it's USELESS for me to start writing! still mr./ms. ultra-complex will say "you need to write this down" and won't utter another word until i'm perfectly poised with cup and pen in hand. then they proceed to say rather slowly "nonfat.....decaf.....three shots.....no foam.....sugar-free hazelnut....why aren't you writing this down?"
"because i need to know the size and what kind of drink it is first." i inform them.
"i'm telling you!" mr./ms. ultra-complex will huff. "nonfat....decaf....three shots...."
of course the drink ends up being a venti when we've started writing on a grande cup, or they will inform us it's supposed to be iced after watching us write down their order on a hot cup. grrrrrrr!
partner rant: please don't bitch to me about a barista you're having problems with. if it's upsetting you so much, then talk to the manager if you can't work it out with your nemesis. talking to me will fix NOTHING, and it only makes me want to take the side of the person that hates you. seriously.
yesterday and today there was an insane amount of customers who needed a hard kick in the pants. i've ranted so many times before about customers who approach the register with no clue as to what they want to order after standing in line for five minutes. it's stupid, it's dumb and it wastes time for everyone involved.
- the phone addict
this is the customer who refuses to put the phone down long enough to order - instead opting to make us (and all the customers behind them) wait until their conversation is over. sometimes, in-between sentences they'll whisper something unintelligible to us and then toss their money on the counter, as if "decaf mumble, mumble, mumble" translates into starbonics.
- the first-timer
the newbie customer who waits until we've asked them "what can i get for you today?" to actually LOOK at our menu board. and of course a five-minute explanation of each and every one of our beverages ensues while the line gets longer and longer and longer.
- the should-know-better
this is the customer that has been to bux a million times, knows exactly how the ordering process goes, and STILL hems and haws when we ask them what they want. they giggle and smile and say "gee! i should know what i want by now, huh?" and then re-reads the menu forty times before deciding on their usual. their friggen' USUAL!
- the bottlenecker
at bux we usually have what's called a 'floater' to call down the line so the register partners don't have to take extra time to mark cups. usually it's a very efficient process, although occasionally we'll come across a customer who will demand so much attention, and ask so many questions, that we cannot fulfill our floater duties. meanwhile the register partner has already started to ring up the bottlenecker and cannot help the next customer in line. of course that means everyone behind them has to wait even longer just to order.
and my personal favorite:
- mr./ms. ultra-complex
this is the person that won't tell you what they want to order unless you have out your sharpie and have cup in your hand. problem is - if you don't tell me the size of your damn drink, or whether it's hot or iced, it's USELESS for me to start writing! still mr./ms. ultra-complex will say "you need to write this down" and won't utter another word until i'm perfectly poised with cup and pen in hand. then they proceed to say rather slowly "nonfat.....decaf.....three shots.....no foam.....sugar-free hazelnut....why aren't you writing this down?"
"because i need to know the size and what kind of drink it is first." i inform them.
"i'm telling you!" mr./ms. ultra-complex will huff. "nonfat....decaf....three shots...."
of course the drink ends up being a venti when we've started writing on a grande cup, or they will inform us it's supposed to be iced after watching us write down their order on a hot cup. grrrrrrr!
partner rant: please don't bitch to me about a barista you're having problems with. if it's upsetting you so much, then talk to the manager if you can't work it out with your nemesis. talking to me will fix NOTHING, and it only makes me want to take the side of the person that hates you. seriously.
2.14.2007
deja who?
for the most part, there aren't many surprises when it comes to a bux workday.
i'm sure i could show up half unconscious and still be able to make lattes and frappuccinos - it's the repetitious nature of the business.
even though i can do my job on auto-pilot, i'm still very good about being personable and welcoming to customers. apparently so much so that i forget entire conversations.
for the past couple weeks a girl has been coming in to the store ordering iced venti soy three-pump chai lattes. each time she says, "thanks to you this is my new favorite drink! i'm so glad you suggested it!" which is strange because for the life of me i cannot remember ever having had a conversation with her. in fact, i am not a fan of chai lattes and highly doubt that i ever would tell a customer to order one - but she is insistent that i was the one who recommended it.
and there's the man who seems to remember me from my old bux, yet i cannot place him in my memory at all. he brings up specific events, but i still have no clue as to who he is.
and the high school student who read a tolstoy novel on my suggestion, though i can't remember ever talking about literature with any of our teenaged customers.
and the bux partner from another store who claims to have worked with me my first week on the job, but i swear i've never seen her before.
either i've been breathing in too many fumes from our cleaning products or i'm losing my, uh....um....what was i writing about?
barista rant: i'm sure it seemed like a hilarious joke at the time, but pretending like you're going to use our tips to pay for your drink is not a smart thing to do. especially when we've just recently had our tip jar stolen. please don't get pissy with us when we tell you to put the money back in the jar. don't accuse us of having no sense of humor, or of taking life "too seriously". how about saving the "jokes" for someone who'll find them funny - if they exist.
i'm sure i could show up half unconscious and still be able to make lattes and frappuccinos - it's the repetitious nature of the business.
even though i can do my job on auto-pilot, i'm still very good about being personable and welcoming to customers. apparently so much so that i forget entire conversations.
for the past couple weeks a girl has been coming in to the store ordering iced venti soy three-pump chai lattes. each time she says, "thanks to you this is my new favorite drink! i'm so glad you suggested it!" which is strange because for the life of me i cannot remember ever having had a conversation with her. in fact, i am not a fan of chai lattes and highly doubt that i ever would tell a customer to order one - but she is insistent that i was the one who recommended it.
and there's the man who seems to remember me from my old bux, yet i cannot place him in my memory at all. he brings up specific events, but i still have no clue as to who he is.
and the high school student who read a tolstoy novel on my suggestion, though i can't remember ever talking about literature with any of our teenaged customers.
and the bux partner from another store who claims to have worked with me my first week on the job, but i swear i've never seen her before.
either i've been breathing in too many fumes from our cleaning products or i'm losing my, uh....um....what was i writing about?
barista rant: i'm sure it seemed like a hilarious joke at the time, but pretending like you're going to use our tips to pay for your drink is not a smart thing to do. especially when we've just recently had our tip jar stolen. please don't get pissy with us when we tell you to put the money back in the jar. don't accuse us of having no sense of humor, or of taking life "too seriously". how about saving the "jokes" for someone who'll find them funny - if they exist.
2.11.2007
weekend wrap-up
things i found extremely annoying this weekend:
- each and every customer that listened to me repeat their order verbatim, only to complain that their drink was supposed to be iced/nonfat/decaf/blended/whipped after the barista had made it.
- the bitch mommy who told her son to "shut the fuck up" when he asked if he could have a hot chocolate.
- the teenagers who kept asking "are these samples?" and couldn't keep their grubby fingers off the cupcakes we have on display for valentine's day (cupcakes which had a large sign that read 'DO NOT TOUCH - FOR DISPLAY ONLY')
- the barista who preceded me on bar and left me with no steamed milk, grande hot lids or whipped cream containers during a rush.
- the lady who kept propping open our front door because her doggy felt lonely outside (the same lady that gave me a stare down when i asked what kind of dog she had - "she's NOT a dog!" she informed me. "she's my baby girl!")
- the woman who left her toddler's poop-filled diaper in the bathroom sink.
- the man who growled at me "don't you understand english?!?" when i asked him to clarify what his drink order was (he wanted a caramel frappuccino but was asking for a 'caramello flurry')
- the partner who spilled mocha in the milk fridge but blamed it on the manager (uh, hello! the manager didn't work this weekend!)
- the jerk who ran off with one of our tip jars.
things that put a smile on my face this weekend:
- finding out kick ass newbie was covering one of the talker's shifts.
- a visit from one of my old bux regulars.
- the customer who brought us a box of krispy kreme donuts.
- the teenagers that picked up after themselves and told us to have a good night when they left the store.
- the woman who thanked me for always making her drinks the correct way.
- being sent home early on a sunday afternoon!
partner rant: why is it so hard to rinse the frappuccino lid after every use? why must you throw it in the sink and leave it there to get covered in milk and frappuccino guts? doesn't it bug you to have to fish out the dirty lid from the bottom of the sink every time you need to make another frappuccino? don't you realize how much time and effort is wasted by not rinsing it right away? do you like making extra work for yourself or do you just expect other partners to clean up after you?
- each and every customer that listened to me repeat their order verbatim, only to complain that their drink was supposed to be iced/nonfat/decaf/blended/whipped after the barista had made it.
- the bitch mommy who told her son to "shut the fuck up" when he asked if he could have a hot chocolate.
- the teenagers who kept asking "are these samples?" and couldn't keep their grubby fingers off the cupcakes we have on display for valentine's day (cupcakes which had a large sign that read 'DO NOT TOUCH - FOR DISPLAY ONLY')
- the barista who preceded me on bar and left me with no steamed milk, grande hot lids or whipped cream containers during a rush.
- the lady who kept propping open our front door because her doggy felt lonely outside (the same lady that gave me a stare down when i asked what kind of dog she had - "she's NOT a dog!" she informed me. "she's my baby girl!")
- the woman who left her toddler's poop-filled diaper in the bathroom sink.
- the man who growled at me "don't you understand english?!?" when i asked him to clarify what his drink order was (he wanted a caramel frappuccino but was asking for a 'caramello flurry')
- the partner who spilled mocha in the milk fridge but blamed it on the manager (uh, hello! the manager didn't work this weekend!)
- the jerk who ran off with one of our tip jars.
things that put a smile on my face this weekend:
- finding out kick ass newbie was covering one of the talker's shifts.
- a visit from one of my old bux regulars.
- the customer who brought us a box of krispy kreme donuts.
- the teenagers that picked up after themselves and told us to have a good night when they left the store.
- the woman who thanked me for always making her drinks the correct way.
- being sent home early on a sunday afternoon!
partner rant: why is it so hard to rinse the frappuccino lid after every use? why must you throw it in the sink and leave it there to get covered in milk and frappuccino guts? doesn't it bug you to have to fish out the dirty lid from the bottom of the sink every time you need to make another frappuccino? don't you realize how much time and effort is wasted by not rinsing it right away? do you like making extra work for yourself or do you just expect other partners to clean up after you?
2.08.2007
(not) movin' on up
in my experience bux has generally been good about offering promotions to its partners. most the managers and assistant managers i've worked with have been promoted from within, and honestly i believe bux prefers to promote their partners rather than hiring outside the company.
unfortunately, they pay external management hires several thousand dollars more than internally hired management. and if a particular store manager sucks, then a deserving barista might have to wait several months before they get their deserved promotion. so although there are distinct exceptions to the rule - bux is usually very good about developing their partners for promotion.
now, i bring all this up because i have (again) been approached about moving up within the company. and i'll be honest - i do my little "oh gee, really? wow, that might be fun. too bad my schedule can't handle that right now. try me again in another six months" because my district manager is VERY aggressive about promoting people.
why?
because every time my district manager "develops a partner to the next level" more money shows up on DM's paycheck.
i seriously dislike district managers that push promotions so they can make more money. i've seen it time and again - a partner gets pressured into making the jump and they end up overwhelmed (and underpaid in my opinion), unhappy and eventually quit or step down - and all because the DM wants to pad their paycheck.
i also have no interest in being promoted because i have no interest in moving up.
seriously.
i like my lack of responsibility and my chosen schedule. as soon as i accept a promotion i will have little to no choice on where i'll work, or what hours i'll have to put in. what i love about my job is that IT works around ME.
of course i can't say that to my manager or district manager. and of course i have to play the game and act as if i'm honored they've considered me for a promotion, because if i don't do my little song and dance my hours will magically disappear, or i'll be micromanaged to the point of madness.
i've been told before: "bux doesn't like career baristas".
well, i don't know if bux doesn't like them, but my district manager CERTAINLY doesn't.
and sure, i like the fact that if needed i can get a promotion at bux. i just don't see it happening any time in the future.
partner rant: i didn't steal your friggen' apron! i already let you examine mine to see if your initials were printed anywhere on it! so don't get pissy because someone walked off with yours, because we've already established that "someone" wasn't me! and don't make stupid comments like "well, there's that color-safe bleach that gets ink stains out, so maybe SOMEONE bleached my initials off my apron". yeah, i walked into work, stole your apron, stopped time so that i could go home and bleach out your initials, started time again and then denied i had your apron. grow up and learn to take better care of your belongings.
unfortunately, they pay external management hires several thousand dollars more than internally hired management. and if a particular store manager sucks, then a deserving barista might have to wait several months before they get their deserved promotion. so although there are distinct exceptions to the rule - bux is usually very good about developing their partners for promotion.
now, i bring all this up because i have (again) been approached about moving up within the company. and i'll be honest - i do my little "oh gee, really? wow, that might be fun. too bad my schedule can't handle that right now. try me again in another six months" because my district manager is VERY aggressive about promoting people.
why?
because every time my district manager "develops a partner to the next level" more money shows up on DM's paycheck.
i seriously dislike district managers that push promotions so they can make more money. i've seen it time and again - a partner gets pressured into making the jump and they end up overwhelmed (and underpaid in my opinion), unhappy and eventually quit or step down - and all because the DM wants to pad their paycheck.
i also have no interest in being promoted because i have no interest in moving up.
seriously.
i like my lack of responsibility and my chosen schedule. as soon as i accept a promotion i will have little to no choice on where i'll work, or what hours i'll have to put in. what i love about my job is that IT works around ME.
of course i can't say that to my manager or district manager. and of course i have to play the game and act as if i'm honored they've considered me for a promotion, because if i don't do my little song and dance my hours will magically disappear, or i'll be micromanaged to the point of madness.
i've been told before: "bux doesn't like career baristas".
well, i don't know if bux doesn't like them, but my district manager CERTAINLY doesn't.
and sure, i like the fact that if needed i can get a promotion at bux. i just don't see it happening any time in the future.
partner rant: i didn't steal your friggen' apron! i already let you examine mine to see if your initials were printed anywhere on it! so don't get pissy because someone walked off with yours, because we've already established that "someone" wasn't me! and don't make stupid comments like "well, there's that color-safe bleach that gets ink stains out, so maybe SOMEONE bleached my initials off my apron". yeah, i walked into work, stole your apron, stopped time so that i could go home and bleach out your initials, started time again and then denied i had your apron. grow up and learn to take better care of your belongings.
2.05.2007
raise your hand! who likes me?
there's a barista at my bux who i'm not entirely fond of. we've never had harsh words or anything along those lines - we just have very different styles of dealing with customers, managers and fellow baristas.
now, i RARELY work with this bitter barista, and the times our shifts have overlapped there's been relatively little drama - although she's curt with her fellow baristas, has almost no patience with customers and kisses an insane amount of manager ass. but when she's off the clock she's sweeter than saccharine.
now, i don't go for that "i'm going to be a right turd while we work together but after i punch out we can totally hang" mentality. in my opinion, if you can be polite and respectful when you're having fun, you're capable of being that way while you earn your paycheck. apparently bitter barista feels she isn't paid enough (and customer don't tip enough) for her to have a pleasant attitude. the sad thing is - her bad attitude rubs off on almost everyone around her (customers included).
but here's the crazy thing:
bitter barista wants to win the (non-existent) popularity contest.
so every time a barista says "i love working with you, brat." - bitter barista gets pissed.
each time a customer asks "where've you been, brat? i've missed you" - bitter barista huffs.
and when perky assistant manager says "i'm so excited you're working my shift today, brat!" - bitter barista pouts.
so now bitter barista watches my every move, hoping i'll majorly eff something up. and this weekend she thought she finally hit paydirt.
"brat was on bar today and this woman walked up to her and said 'can i have my lattes now?' and brat gave them to the lady without charging her." bitter barista told our manager (in front of the talker - no less).
"when? you mean this morning?" our manager asked her.
"yeah - she did it right when you were on the floor." bitter barista was hoping i'd get in trouble.
"that lady had already paid for those drinks. " manager told her. "she just wanted to wait until her husband showed up before her drinks were made."
the talker quickly relayed the conversation to me and all i could do was roll my eyes. thankfully it will be another two weeks before i work with bitter barista.
i can hardly wait.
customer rant: i've waited patiently in line. i haven't been pushy or rude. so why the hell did you start to take the order of the lady behind me when it was my turn to order? just because she's a pushy bitch doesn't mean you give her a pass to the front of the line. take care of the customer in front of you first, ok?
now, i RARELY work with this bitter barista, and the times our shifts have overlapped there's been relatively little drama - although she's curt with her fellow baristas, has almost no patience with customers and kisses an insane amount of manager ass. but when she's off the clock she's sweeter than saccharine.
now, i don't go for that "i'm going to be a right turd while we work together but after i punch out we can totally hang" mentality. in my opinion, if you can be polite and respectful when you're having fun, you're capable of being that way while you earn your paycheck. apparently bitter barista feels she isn't paid enough (and customer don't tip enough) for her to have a pleasant attitude. the sad thing is - her bad attitude rubs off on almost everyone around her (customers included).
but here's the crazy thing:
bitter barista wants to win the (non-existent) popularity contest.
so every time a barista says "i love working with you, brat." - bitter barista gets pissed.
each time a customer asks "where've you been, brat? i've missed you" - bitter barista huffs.
and when perky assistant manager says "i'm so excited you're working my shift today, brat!" - bitter barista pouts.
so now bitter barista watches my every move, hoping i'll majorly eff something up. and this weekend she thought she finally hit paydirt.
"brat was on bar today and this woman walked up to her and said 'can i have my lattes now?' and brat gave them to the lady without charging her." bitter barista told our manager (in front of the talker - no less).
"when? you mean this morning?" our manager asked her.
"yeah - she did it right when you were on the floor." bitter barista was hoping i'd get in trouble.
"that lady had already paid for those drinks. " manager told her. "she just wanted to wait until her husband showed up before her drinks were made."
the talker quickly relayed the conversation to me and all i could do was roll my eyes. thankfully it will be another two weeks before i work with bitter barista.
i can hardly wait.
customer rant: i've waited patiently in line. i haven't been pushy or rude. so why the hell did you start to take the order of the lady behind me when it was my turn to order? just because she's a pushy bitch doesn't mean you give her a pass to the front of the line. take care of the customer in front of you first, ok?
2.01.2007
wanton whims
i can't believe with all the hours i work that i've been fortunate to have dealt with mr. whim only twice before yesterday.
in fact, i had a vague recollection about there being a problem with his drink the last time i'd helped him, but it didn't really stick out in my mind. well - after yesterday's experience he will NOT be soon forgotten.
it all started so innocuously: i was on bar, happily making drinks, when i came across mr. whim's grande latte. now, there were no special markings on the cup - just the normal vertical slash in the drink box, so i was quite surprised when he came back three minutes later to tell me there was a problem with his drink.
but wait.
i'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
mr. whim is one of those people who believes - no matter how many people's drinks come before his - that he has the god-given right to stand directly in front of the hand-off counter while he waits for his drink. of course, he plops a newspaper on the counter to read while he waits for his drink (mind you, he doesn't pay for the paper - he just believes he has the right to read it while he waits) making it difficult for other people to pick-up their drinks once they've been called out.
when mr. whim's drink is ready he'll act as if he didn't hear you call it three times and continue to read his paper. when he's done with the comics section he's ready for a bathroom break, and only after he's done relieving his bladder he'll come get his drink.
of course there will ALWAYS be something wrong with his drink.
"there's too much foam on this." mr. whim told me after taking a sip of his latte.
"oh, i'm sorry." i raised my eyebrows in surprise. "it didn't say 'easy foam' on the cup."
"i didn't want 'easy foam' - i wanted the regular amount. you put too much on." he said - all the while flipping through a new section of the paper.
"ok, i can take some of the foam off - "
"forget it. just give me an iced latte instead."
so after i gave him an iced version of his drink, the talker pulled me aside and said "that's mr. whim! he always tells us to remake his drink!".
turns out mr. whim is NEVER happy with his drink. and every time there's a different problem: not hot enough, too hot, not enough foam, tastes weird, feels too light, etc., etc. sometimes he wants us to remake the exact drink the same way we made it in the first place. other times he wants something totally different. next time i see him at the hand-off counter i'll make sure he signs off on every part of the drink making process: "the temperature is 160 - is that ok? i'm about to put the foam on top - let me know how much you want, ok?"
hopefully then i won't have to cater to his whims.
barista rant: please listen to me when i ask you a question! especially when the question is: "do you want this blended like a milkshake, or do you want ice cubes in it?" because it's REALLY annoying when you look at your drink and say "oops! i meant i wanted the blended one!" after you assured me two minutes earlier that you wanted ice cubes in your drink.
in fact, i had a vague recollection about there being a problem with his drink the last time i'd helped him, but it didn't really stick out in my mind. well - after yesterday's experience he will NOT be soon forgotten.
it all started so innocuously: i was on bar, happily making drinks, when i came across mr. whim's grande latte. now, there were no special markings on the cup - just the normal vertical slash in the drink box, so i was quite surprised when he came back three minutes later to tell me there was a problem with his drink.
but wait.
i'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
mr. whim is one of those people who believes - no matter how many people's drinks come before his - that he has the god-given right to stand directly in front of the hand-off counter while he waits for his drink. of course, he plops a newspaper on the counter to read while he waits for his drink (mind you, he doesn't pay for the paper - he just believes he has the right to read it while he waits) making it difficult for other people to pick-up their drinks once they've been called out.
when mr. whim's drink is ready he'll act as if he didn't hear you call it three times and continue to read his paper. when he's done with the comics section he's ready for a bathroom break, and only after he's done relieving his bladder he'll come get his drink.
of course there will ALWAYS be something wrong with his drink.
"there's too much foam on this." mr. whim told me after taking a sip of his latte.
"oh, i'm sorry." i raised my eyebrows in surprise. "it didn't say 'easy foam' on the cup."
"i didn't want 'easy foam' - i wanted the regular amount. you put too much on." he said - all the while flipping through a new section of the paper.
"ok, i can take some of the foam off - "
"forget it. just give me an iced latte instead."
so after i gave him an iced version of his drink, the talker pulled me aside and said "that's mr. whim! he always tells us to remake his drink!".
turns out mr. whim is NEVER happy with his drink. and every time there's a different problem: not hot enough, too hot, not enough foam, tastes weird, feels too light, etc., etc. sometimes he wants us to remake the exact drink the same way we made it in the first place. other times he wants something totally different. next time i see him at the hand-off counter i'll make sure he signs off on every part of the drink making process: "the temperature is 160 - is that ok? i'm about to put the foam on top - let me know how much you want, ok?"
hopefully then i won't have to cater to his whims.
barista rant: please listen to me when i ask you a question! especially when the question is: "do you want this blended like a milkshake, or do you want ice cubes in it?" because it's REALLY annoying when you look at your drink and say "oops! i meant i wanted the blended one!" after you assured me two minutes earlier that you wanted ice cubes in your drink.
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