my new bff

i'm back at bux and it's pretty much the same - except harder since my store lost some core people who were replaced by some pretty weak newbies. oi. and right before holiday as well.

my first shift back seemed like it would be pretty uneventful. my manager was nice and gave me a short shift to ease me back into the whole coffee slinging thing. in fact, the day would have been pretty much golden if it weren't for the borrowed partner who was scheduled to work with me.

now borrowed partners can either be really great, or really horrid.
sometimes they want to make such a great impression that they work very efficiently, or they have such great personalities and work ethics that they seamlessly blend in with our regular partners and customers.
but sometimes they are pissed they have to cover a shift at a store that's not their own, so they have bad attitudes, are lazy, or spend the entire day commenting on how much better their store is.

the borrowed partner i worked with is in a class all her own.
right from the beginning i knew she wasn't going to be stellar, but i was hopeful she would at least be decent. she's been with the company for a couple years so presumably she knew how to make drinks and ring up customers. she's also in her late forties, so i was hoping maturity wouldn't be an issue.
in between rushes, when baristas should be cleaning and restocking, she slid next to me and said in a hushed tone "i think i might be pregnant".
now, let me just say that although i consider myself a friendly person, and i welcome conversation, telling me that you might be pregnant when i don't even know you is waaaaaaay too much information for this brat. really, all i want you to do is work, capiche?

"my husband has been out of the country for three years," she continued in subdued tones, "and i know he has been cheating on me. i have been faithful for over twenty years, but i can only take so much, so i started going out to clubs - "
"can you refill the milk fridge?" i interrupted her, not knowing a better way to get her to quit her story.
seriously, i was in shock that she was pouring all this out to me.
me! a person, who ten minutes previous, was a complete stranger!
"and i met a man," she continued after re-stocking the fridge. "and it is nothing serious but i think i am pregnant. my son is going to kill me if i'm pregnant! but what else can it be? i am ten days late and i am nauseous."

now, i really didn't want to deal with this my first day back. all i wanted was her to do her job. maybe some light conversation about movies or music, but that's all. no shoe dropping. no maury povich moments. just two baristas making coffee and keeping a clean store.

"my husband doesn't even send me money, and now i might have someone else's baby. what do you think i should do?" she asked in a whisper.

are you serious?!?
what the hell?!?
not only does she confide in someone she doesn't know, but she asks what SHE should DO?
WHO does this?!?

"uh, i have NO idea." i answered - incredulous that i was even having this conversation. "why don't you go take a break." i suggested just to have her out of my hair.

when she came back from her break she again slid next to me to pour out her woes. i, as nicely as i could, informed her that we really didn't have time to talk since there was so much work that needed to be done. she seemed to understand, but not two minutes later she had cornered barista buddy and again was whispering to a stranger that she thought she was pregnant. and when barista buddy made it clear this was not a conversation he wanted to be a part of, she started telling customers about her problems - still in that same hushed tone that made it seem like she wanted it kept a secret.
lady! it's no secret if you tell it to the whole world, no matter how low you keep your voice!

to maintain my sanity i put her on dish duty in the backroom and kept her there until her shift was over. i wasn't trying to be mean, but really, this lady had no clue as to what was appropriate. and being well into her forties you'd think she'd figure out that bux is certainly not the place to field advice about out of wedlock babies. at least it shouldn't be.
"welcome back, brat!" barista buddy laughed after she'd left. "by the way," he whispered, "i think i'm PREGNANT!"

barista rant: we don't mind that, although you're homeless, you come in and use our bathroom - especially since you are usually respectful and are relatively clean. but you may not panhandle in our store. it is NOT ok to ask customers if they will buy you a cup of coffee or a sandwich. and if someone is nice enough to buy you a meal, don't come back twenty minutes later and expect us to give you a cash refund because you didn't like the sandwich!