bait and snitch

ah, another week and another mrs. moocher sighting.

i was lucky enough to be on my break when she wheeled her (even) older sister into the store.
"hello!" she greeted my fellow barista with a toothy smile. "i want a refill, but i left my cup at home."

the barista, who really hates conflict of any sort, asked mrs. moocher to "hang on a sec" and then came to the backroom and informed me that the old bird was up to her old tricks again.
"she knows our policy." i told her. "just explain it to her again and she will either pay or go away."
"brat, can you do it please? i hate dealing with her." the barista asked.

meanwhile, at the counter, mrs. moocher was throwing a fit.

"where is she going? what is she going to say?" mrs. moocher demanded of the other barista on the floor. "is she going to snitch? is that how you do things here? are you all snitches?!?"
she didn't give the other barista a chance to say a word, instead continuing her tirade.
"do you get a raise if you're a snitch? is that how starbucks trains its workers now? do they tell you to run to the back and snitch on customers?"

when i returned to the floor with non-conflict barista, mrs. moocher aimed her ire at me.

"brat - your girl there really jumped the gun!" she shook her finger at me.
"i'm sorry?" i asked - totally confused.
"she jumped the gun, that one did! she goes running off to you, and i didn't even do anything! she is a snitch!"
i opened my mouth to respond, but she just kept squawking.
"i said to her - as soon as i came in - i said, 'hello, i would like a refill of ICE WATER, but i left my ICE WATER cup at home' and then she jumps the gun and goes running to you, as if i am trying to steal from you!"
"oh, really?" i asked disinterestedly, although in my head i was thinking "i'm so friggen' sure!".
"that is no way to treat a customer! you need to settle that one down so she doesn't jump the gun." she took her ice water from the other barista, "i just wanted a refill of water, that is all, and that other girl tried to imply that i am stealing. you need to get her in line, brat."

but the most jaw-dropping part of the exchange came moments later when mrs. moocher noticed her sister slouching in her wheelchair.
"are you falling?" mrs. moocher asked her sister, and with one hand grabbed the collar of her sister's shirt and pulled her upright, as if she were a marionette.

"man, i can't believe what she just did to her sister." non-confrontational barista said once they had left.
"hey - don't jump the gun!" i teased her.
"yeah, you snitch." the other barista laughed.

customer rant: what is your deal!?! you stood in front of the door jabbering with your friend. when i tried to step around you to enter the store, you blocked me so that you could enter first. then, when your friend stopped at a table to say hello to someone, you ran ahead of me so that you would be first in line - and you know what? i really wouldn't have cared if you knew what the hell you wanted to order! but no - you had to squint your eyes and take your time reading the menu, then you asked the barista to list the ingredients of all the muffins, and THEN you held up the (ever-growing) line so that you could wait for your friend to finish her conversation and order her drink and pastry. and even though you paid, you weren't nearly done. you stood directly in front of the serving counter so no one else could collect their drinks AND you had to touch each beverage and ask 'is this one mine?". when your drink was finally ready, you proceeded to the condiment bar and CONTINUED to be a very large thorn in my side by blocking all access to the milk and sugar. i even had to go all matrix to squeeze past you just to exit the damn store!