blind-sided

it's been quite the week for surprises.

a couple days ago i spotted mr. whim parking his car so i braced myself for his usual brand of crazy. luckily i wasn't on bar, so i wasn't going to have to remake his drink ten times because of his ocd, but i was on register which meant i would have to put up with his grumpiness while he ordered.
imagine my surprise when he greeted me with a 'good morning!' and made small talk while he happily handed over his money. he even made me laugh with a stupid joke, and when his drink was ready he took it without fuss and never asked the barista on bar to 'fix it'.
i think mr. whim's psychiatrist must have upped his medication because today he even complimented the skills of my manager on bar.

remember this barista?
well, after several talks from management, he finally got his overbearing girlfriend in check. sure, she still called him - but only during break. and sure, she still came in the store, but her tantrums lasted only a few minutes as opposed to entire shifts.
it's been no secret that their relationship remains quite contentious - this barista has even confided to his fellow partners about the constant mental and verbal abuse at home - but all of us were blown away the day he walked out of our store (in the middle of his shift) and out of her life.
that's right - he pulled a runner. his (ex)girlfriend has been coming in daily to see if we have any news of this missing barista. he has been a no-show to all his shifts this week, and is not answering his phone or returning calls. his girlfriend is freaking out because rent will be due soon and although she always gave this barista shit for working at bux (instead of some higher profile job) she was always happy to take his earnings so that she would only have to work one day a week.
i hope he is still alive (i was, in a rather cryptic manner, assured by another barista that he is fine) and i hope he gets his life in order.

and of course, the final surprise is mrs. moocher.
after yelling that i'd 'mortally offended' her, she is now trying to be my new BFF. she hasn't tried her mooching scam on me, but does come in for a venti iced water and a chat.
"brat, i just want you to know that i think of you often and i'm glad we are able to put that nastiness behind us!" she told me awhile back.
but last night she decided to make it a very special visit by bringing her invalid sister to the store to meet me.
"brat! this beautiful young lady is my sister," she pushed forward the wheelchair in which her very aged sibling was resting in. "i had to take her to the doctor today, but i brought her in especially to meet you!"
seriously - what the hell?!?
again, mrs. moocher did not try and run her scam (overtly). she just asked for an iced water and then began to tell me how expensive her sister's healthcare is. when she finally left, my fellow partners could not contain their laughter.
"brat, you're soooo cold-hearted!" barista buddy chuckled. "you should give that old lady her coffee for free - not charging her regular price! can't you see she needs every penny for her sister?"
so i guess mrs. moocher is trying to kill me with kindness and guilt. and it would probably work if i didn't catch on that this is just another of her scams - lengthy and well-thought out, yes, but still a scam.

barista rant: just because you work for bux does not mean you can come into my store, act like a total bitch, and get your drink for free PLUS a free coupon. i don't care if you've been a partner for 'years and years'. i don't care if 'the other bux' gives you beverages for free. i've never seen you before in my life - and even if i had, you'd still only get your thirty percent discount. and no, telling us we are the worst bux ever is not an effective way to demand a free drink coupon.