easter dummies

i usually love to work holidays because (for the most part) customers are all smiles and business tends to be slower. today, however, there were several exceptions to the general rule.

MANY people decided bux coffee would go great with their easter brunch, so we had a rash of people ordering our coffee travellers. now usually people will phone these orders in ahead of time, but not today. we had several customers walk in, order a traveller (plus all the condiments) and expect us to have it ready for them in under three minutes. since it takes four minutes just to brew a batch of coffee it is impossible to hand over a traveller as soon as a customer orders one (which is exactly why most people call ahead).
most of the customers understood that it would be a short wait for their travellers, but there were two separate customers who decided it was perfectly acceptable to raise holy hell.
"isn't this starbucks?" one lady sneered at me. "aren't you guys supposed to ALWAYS have coffee?"
"certainly we have coffee, but i need to brew a batch especially for the coffee traveler you ordered." i informed her with gritted teeth.
"i can't believe this!" she complained two minutes later. "that lady just got her drink and she was BEHIND me in line!"
"ma'am," i tried to keep an even tone, "if you'd ordered a latte then you would've gotten your beverage before her."
"just hurry it up!" she snapped at me and gave me the stink eye until her order was ready.
the other customer wasn't as rude, but was just as big of a pain. hating that he'd have to wait a few minutes while the coffee was brewing, he tried to argue that he deserved some sort of compensation for his time. i agreed to let him have a free drip coffee, but he wanted a frappuccino. he also wanted free pastries and a free sandwich. when i refused he gave me a sour look and said "well, i see YOU'RE not in a giving mood this holiday."
"i thought christmas was the time for gift giving, not easter." i smiled at him and bid him a good day.

but the craziest story of the day was the elderly couple who ordered five different beverages. the register partner handed them their venti drip coffee while they waited for me to make their four bar drinks. the husband attempted to fit his venti drip coffee in the carrying tray i'd handed him and ended up splashing a bit of the coffee on his hand.
"OW, OW, GODDAMMIT!" he howled and jumped up and down. "DAMN IT! DAMN IT! THAT COFFEE IS PIPING HOT!"
"let me get you some ice and a towel." i offered right away, although it was clear only a drop of coffee escaped from the lid.
"GIVE ME ICE! GODDAMMIT THIS HURTS!" he continued to howl and nurse his hand.
i offered him some burn cream but his wife just waved me off and said the ice was good enough.
by the time i'd finished making the rest of the drinks he'd calmed down.
"what is this drink?" the man pointed to his cup of coffee. "is this the coffee? because i ordered a coffee."
"uh, yes. that's the coffee." i told him, bewildered that he seemed to have forgotten making such a scene about the coffee just minutes earlier.
"just wanted to make sure i wasn't taking someone else's drink!" he said as he placed the cup of coffee in the tray, splashing a bit on his hand in the process.
but this time there were no theatrics and he went on his merry way.

barista rant: LISTEN for your drink! i'm tired of calling a drink out repeatedly, only to have it sit on the bar and grow cold. and by the time you saunter over to the counter to pick it up, you complain that it's not hot enough. and then you want a free drink coupon since you "had to wait" for me to remake your lukewarm drink. pay attention if you want your latte hot!