put up your dukes!

nothing gets my morning going like two customers ready to throw down.

apparently someone had a serious case of road rage (parking lot rage, maybe?) and a few honks and rude gestures were not adequate enough methods to let off steam. so when customer A came into my bux, customer B was on her scent.

customer A: "give me a tall soy latte."
barista buddy: "ok, anything else today?"
customer A: "yeah, give me a cheese danish - "
customer B: "you maniac! you almost killed me out there!"
customer A: "lady, i already apologized to you."
barista buddy: "ok, your total is - "
customer B: "i'm going to report you - you maniac! i bet you don't even have a valid license!"
barista buddy: "uh, ma'am. can you settle this outside after she gets her coffee?"
customer B: "oh, just because she's spending money here means she's allowed to drive however she wants? what, is she mrs. starbucks or something?"
barista buddy: "uh, no. we just can't have yelling in here."
customer B: "i was almost killed! you expect me to be calm when i almost died because of her!"
customer A: "oh, you are so over-reacting. you were in my blind spot, that's all. as soon as you honked i quit changing lanes."
customer B: "my two children were in the car with me! you could have killed us all!"
barista brat: "ma'am, i understand you're upset but i can't have you yelling in here."
customer B: "of course i'm upset! i have an infant and a toddler and she almost killed us all!"
customer A: "oh please, if you're so concerned about your kids why did you leave them in the car to come yell at me?"
customer B: "fuck you! you maniac!"

and with that last poetic cry of injustice she stormed out of the store.
not a minute later we heard her revving her engine and peeling out of the parking lot.
"and i'm supposed to be the maniac" customer A laughed before leaving.

partner rant: please don't spend the entire shift whining about the write-up you just received for constantly being late. please don't turn your ten-minute break into a fifteen-minute break because you were on the phone complaining to your boyfriend about said write-up. and please don't ask the rest of us baristas to try and convince the manager that he should "erase" the write-up.