medicinal water

so i got to meet the local crazy today.

she wasn't polished, manicured or even clean so it was pretty easy to tell she wasn't part of our "normal" customer base, but that didn't stop me from being my usually upbeat bratty self.

"hi, what can i get started for you today?" i asked in my usual 'customer voice'.
"i can't drinks the coffees," she replied, showing all three of her teeth while she spoke.
"well, would you like tea? or one of our non-coffee frappuccinos?" i asked, still polite as ever.
"i can't drinks the teas. i needs the waters," she informed me.
"ok, i can get you some water." i grabbed one of our tall cups and she stopped me.
"no, i needs a big waters. it's for my bladders."
"uh, ok," i was surprised she had more than one. "sure, i can give you a venti water. did you want ice?"
"yeah, i needs ice in my waters. it's for my bladders. the doctor says i drinks too much soders."
it took me a couple seconds to realize 'soders' was supposed to be plural for 'soda'.
"ok, well good luck with that," i was trying to bid her good-bye.
"yeah, my doctor says i drinks too much soders." she repeated.
"so sorry to hear that. good luck!" i was still trying to bid her good-bye.
"pray for me! pray for my bladders!" she asked me.
"sure will!" i told her.

you think i'm going to hell because i didn't pray for her bladders?
the upside is a customer tipped us an extra two bucks because i was so nice to the local crazy.
karma, eh?

customer/partner/barista rant: so i wasn't even in your bux today but i can tell how much you suck as a partner. not only did you interrupt the customers in the sandwich shop to place your order, you were unruly, obnoxious and - quite frankly - a prick. then when it was time to pay, you made a big show of how you worked for the bux next door and that you got the "hook-up" deal: a sandwich for a buck. then you were loud as hell as you left the sandwich shop to go back over to bux. you are the reason people think baristas are jerks, in and out of the green apron.