behind the bar

i love my fellow baristas, i truly do. whether they be barista brats like me, or barista buddies, i have the joy of working with awesome people. mostly.

occasionally we will have a guest barista in the store. most the time they are cordial, nice, and inoffensive. sometimes, however, we get a barista bitch or barista bastard. these are no joy to be around.

barista bitches/bastards are uppity, cranky and tend to be bar nazis, complaining about everything my store does differently than theirs. i'm not talking about making drinks differently, or even how we mark the cups. i'm talking about the placement of our bar towel, how close our sanitizer is to the registers and where we keep our cup sleeves.

um, hello? get a life. please. you're spending six hours in my store. you're getting paid for your time and you'll be getting tips (which happen to be much higher in my bux than yours). if my bux offends thee so much, then don't cover/ask for shifts. stay where you feel comfortable and leave us happy baristas in peace.

barista rant: put down the damn phone! how hard is it to say "hang on a sec" to whoever you're talking to so you can place your order? and don't you dare give me a dirty look because i greeted you with a "hi, what can i get started for you?" while you had your phone to your ear. if you refuse to converse with me - the barista brat who is taking your order - then i will be forced to ask you a million more questions 'til you hang up the phone. so be prepared! if that phone is stuck to your ear, expect to hear me ask "decaf or regular?" "one shot or two?" "iced or hot?" "anything else?" "how about a pastry?" "need a gift card?" and anything else you can think of. learn some manners.