raise your hand! who likes me?

there's a barista at my bux who i'm not entirely fond of. we've never had harsh words or anything along those lines - we just have very different styles of dealing with customers, managers and fellow baristas.

now, i RARELY work with this bitter barista, and the times our shifts have overlapped there's been relatively little drama - although she's curt with her fellow baristas, has almost no patience with customers and kisses an insane amount of manager ass. but when she's off the clock she's sweeter than saccharine.

now, i don't go for that "i'm going to be a right turd while we work together but after i punch out we can totally hang" mentality. in my opinion, if you can be polite and respectful when you're having fun, you're capable of being that way while you earn your paycheck. apparently bitter barista feels she isn't paid enough (and customer don't tip enough) for her to have a pleasant attitude. the sad thing is - her bad attitude rubs off on almost everyone around her (customers included).

but here's the crazy thing:
bitter barista wants to win the (non-existent) popularity contest.
so every time a barista says "i love working with you, brat." - bitter barista gets pissed.
each time a customer asks "where've you been, brat? i've missed you" - bitter barista huffs.
and when perky assistant manager says "i'm so excited you're working my shift today, brat!" - bitter barista pouts.

so now bitter barista watches my every move, hoping i'll majorly eff something up. and this weekend she thought she finally hit paydirt.

"brat was on bar today and this woman walked up to her and said 'can i have my lattes now?' and brat gave them to the lady without charging her." bitter barista told our manager (in front of the talker - no less).
"when? you mean this morning?" our manager asked her.
"yeah - she did it right when you were on the floor." bitter barista was hoping i'd get in trouble.
"that lady had already paid for those drinks. " manager told her. "she just wanted to wait until her husband showed up before her drinks were made."

the talker quickly relayed the conversation to me and all i could do was roll my eyes. thankfully it will be another two weeks before i work with bitter barista.
i can hardly wait.

customer rant: i've waited patiently in line. i haven't been pushy or rude. so why the hell did you start to take the order of the lady behind me when it was my turn to order? just because she's a pushy bitch doesn't mean you give her a pass to the front of the line. take care of the customer in front of you first, ok?


Ya Looblue said...

weird. in my world (acting school), people can be sweet as sugar during class when the teachers are around and then when they get into rehearsals they turn into insane psycho bee-ach-ezz. i know some people like Bitter...it boggles my mind how people like that (after all of their calculated watching and studying) don't realize that maybe their co-workers are popular because they're NICE TO BE AROUND. duh heard round the world. sheesh.

Allan said...

*Raises hand*

should slap I Snitchy Bitter while my arm is up?

Red7Eric said...

Hm. Makes total sense to me, actually. This is what happens when people desperately want to be liked but haven't quite figured out how to like themselves a whole lot.

So if I'm down on myself and want you to like me, the only way I can do that is to be more likable than you. But since I have low self-esteem and secretly believe myself to be a shitty person the only course available to me is to rain shit all over your head until you're even shittier than me. Forgive the scatalogical references, but you get my point.

And that's the shit, as I see it. Good luck in two weeks. If I were you, I'd sweetly say, "Thanks so much for reporting that to the manager; I'd hate to think that I might have made a mistake that would cost the franchise any money, and really appreciate you staying on top of things." And smile. And she what she does. Betcha she's stunned into silence.

coffeypot said...

Give her some good advice. When I want people to like me, I just pay them. That way I don’t have to worry about being cut, p/c correct, or nice.

hellolizzie said...

i don't understand people who feel they don't have to wait in line. i was in an enormously long security line at the airport the day after xmas and two men walked up and stood right in front of us. i told them off, and one of them ignored me and stood his ground, the other said, "merry fucking christmas" and left. i don't get it. did i miss something in kindergarden? how could i be at fault when he was cutting in the longest security line of the year?

Anonymous said...

Hi Barista Brat!

I like you! I really like you! :)

I've been reading your blog for a while now, but usually from work, where the comment section gets blocked. Thank Subserviant Worker over on Wide Lawns, Narrow Minds; i found your link there.

In any case, thanks for the great reading!

Punky said...

You gotta call her on that. Just say you heard through the grapevine that she thought you were handing out freebies like crack on a school yard. Then reiterate your total-awesomeness to prove that you would never break such bux rules. But that if she has any future misunderstandings to come to you first.

Not only will you embarass her, you will make her feel 'yay-tall...everybody wins....well, at least you do.

Sling said...

(Raising both hands)
Bitter B. is nothin' but a righteous snitch!..and therefore,is condemned to see a rat-faced Gorgon every time she looks in the mirror..

Lorraine said...

Brat: a) Hello? Liking you way more and 2) where the hell have you been? You have to come around the club more. What's with this whack shifts?

emmanuelle said...

people like her give baristas a bad name.


can i trip and spill hot chocolate on her?

Augs Casa said...

I rteally enjoy your posts. Some people are likable some people are not. Good for you that you are very likeable.

Augs Casa said...

oh, forgot I am raising my hand too and I am sorry for my typos. If I could type and spell, I'd be dangerous!

OldSchool36 said...

*raises hand*

OldSchool36 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OldSchool36 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grumpy Housewife said...

Want me to come and be the customer we all hate to her? I could do it, and even keep a straight face, too.

I could make her life uber-miserable....

Just an offer....

SkippyMom said...

You handled it with aplomb as usual and that is what makes you a great Brat!....don't take no 'shit girlie....you don't derserve it and your manager knows better...

High school ended a long time ago and I don't understand the mindset of people that keep it going through the 20's and 30's...GROW UP and LET IT GO....I would love some of these people to slap up against what I see everyday and then consider gossiping at work a productive use of their time...it just isn't worth it.

oh...and the Customer Rant...I would have simply screamed "SENSE OF ENTITELEMNT" and karate chopped the beyotche's knees...giggle...am I banned Yet?

I may not be posting...as I am waiting on the "other shoe thing" but I won't leave you brat...you bring me a great relief and I love ya!


SkippyMom said...

"Grow up and let it go" was for the other barista...not you...gasp...

and I have to be banned...I can't spell entitlement...giggle...so losing my touch, eh?


barockstar said...

new reader here:
i thought it would take me a lot longer to go through your archives, but i'm almost done!
i like the way you write your experiences, and seem to be able to bitch without being a bitch - which often isn't the case.

i came across a post that left me scratching my head though and wanted to ask about it.
it was a while back, about your ASM trying to correct you on the # of vanilla pumps in an iced venti caramel macchiatto...

you said there were 4, and that the book backed you up.
i may be wrong here (and that's why i'm asking - and don't have won't have access to a bev manual for a while)
syrup patterns: 23456
iced drinks: 346
CMs: 12345
so wouldn't an iced venti CM have 5, not 4 pumps?

any light you can shed on this would be appreciated!

keep up the great posts! :)

mellowlee said...

Ohmygod, what a cow! Well, at least the manager knows she's a kiss ass!!! Grrrr

barista brat said...

ya looblue - yeah, i don't know what kind of weird thoughts go around in their little brains.

allan - haha, that would be perfect!

red7eric - you could be right. i think she's socially inept at making friends and she has super low self esteem at work.

coffeypot - haha, how much do you dole out for some niceness?

hellolizzie - EXACTLY! i have no idea where their sense of entitlement comes from.

anonymous - thanks for dropping by!

punky - haha, thanks for the advice.

sling - omg - how did you know what she looked like?

lorraine - i'm about to go to the club right now. think sling has any coffee liqueur based beverages?

emmanuelle - only if i get to take a pic with my camera phone while you do it!

augs casa - thanks so much!

oldschool36 - you got THREE hands? haha!

grumpy housewife - i might take you up on that!

skippymom - you nailed it, alright. SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT!

barockstar - it's funny because JUST recently the beverage resource manual was updated and now iced venti caramel macchiatos DO indeed get five pumps. it makes sense, too - but since i was hired and trained it had always been just four pumps.

barista brat said...

mellowlee - yes, but i think he kind of likes a kiss ass, unfortunately.