12.06.2006

bizarre love triangle

this week we have news of more district shuffling. this time it's not management drama - it's love trauma.

it's bux policy that lovers should not work in the same store - but it happens.
a lot.
when it does (or actually, when other people find out) one of the lovers must find another store to transfer to. usually it's not a big deal, although it can be an inconvenience. there are, however, those times when it IS a big deal. example: the barista that had to move stores because she had a threesome with her manager and his pregnant wife. no matter how "hush hush" the reason for her transfer was supposed to be - the green apron express could not be quelled and EVERYONE in the district knew why she had to change stores.

my bux is about receive a newly transferred barista of our own. no matter how many times my manager and perky assistant manager told us "not to gossip", by the end of the day even our customers knew the reason for the transfer.

the short version:
lesbian partner of ten years works for bux.
attractive hetero newbie who has a boyfriend is hired at same bux.
lesbian partner makes a play for hetero newbie.
lesbian partner "turns" newbie.
newbie breaks up with boyfriend and secretly starts dating lesbian partner.
newbie and lesbian partner move in together as "roommates".
guitar playing emo boy is hired at same bux.
newbie starts hanging out with guitar playing emo boy.
newbie starts sleeping with guitar playing emo boy.
lesbian partner finds out about hetero affair and confronts newbie - during their shift.
newbie decides emo boy is her soulmate and dumps lesbian partner, but wants to stay "roomies" (because emo boy still lives with his parents).
spurned lesbian partner torments emo boy when they have overlapping shifts.
newbie torments lesbian partner for tormenting emo boy.
drama gets waaaay out of hand and newbie is forced to transfer to my bux.
emo boy will transfer to another district and lesbian partner has taken a leave of absence.

i can bet money newbie and bitter old dude will try and outdo each other with their personal drama. either that or they become best friends.

customer rant: you screwed up four drinks in a row because you were on your cell phone when you should have been working. you know full well that cell phones aren't allowed on the floor, but it seems you believe that rule does not apply to you. not only that, you also seemed to feel it was well within your place to argue with a customer because she interrupted your conversation when she pointed out you'd made her drink incorrectly. leave the cell phone in the backroom where it belongs, and start doing what you're paid to do!

18 comments:

Writeprocrastinator said...

All that was missing was Steve and "Jerry's Final Thought." Damn, that's about the only thing I miss about retail, better soap opera and talk show moments!

I have a coworker who is next to useless too, because he can't get off the phone either.

I wish there was such a thing as a portable cell phone jammer. One that you could activate when things really need to be done around work and that had a limited range or that fix just on their phone number for five minutes.

Anonymous said...

wow. with all the kinda stuff you get, compile em' and u'd have a best selling book. :)

SkippyMom said...

Did you LEARN NOTHING about Tweedle Dee and Daa? ahhh...the drama this chick is bringing on is going to make old man look like a park sitting, checker playing, quiet old man.

I am praying for you and I know you can handle it, but wait...omg, there is no drama than that kind of drama.

LOL....

Best Christmas Wishes HUGS!

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of when I worked for a national camera store chain. The Connecticut regional manager would turn employees into girlfriends and then promote them to store managers before moving on to the next one. They finally told her that her current girlfriend would be the last one she'd do that with. Man, that whole chain was full of backstabbing freaks. I spent about a year or so with the company and I met some world class lunatics.

Eric said...

Oh i do loves me the drama I do.

Anonymous said...

I think you need a diagram to explain all that, brat... That's just way too complicated. But I couldn't blame y'all for gossiping about it--drama that intense has to have some entertainment value...

BTW, Write: there are portable cellphone jammers that work up to a 20 or 50-foot radius. But, they're expensive (usually $200+) and may be illegal in some states. K

Anonymous said...

Man, do I hate romance at the 'office'! It never works out, and its hell when it doesn't. Come to think of it, it is hell even if it does! LOL

Love your blog, thank you so much.

you'dneverguess said...

I have to say that I just love reading your blog. I worked at Starbucks many years ago (I was on the opening crew of the first Starbucks in our city when I was 17), and ended up working for 4 years for the great green giant. Reading your blog brings back fond memories and simultaneously reminds me of why I quit. Thank you for sharing your life - it is highly entertaining.

Cup said...

As the Latte Turns, girl!

Anonymous said...

I walked out of a Subway the other day because the person behind the counter couldn't get off her cell phone long enough to actually take my order.

The local bux has it figured out - cell phones don't seem to work inside! Mine always drops my all as I walk back towards the counter. That makes both me and the baristas actually have to pay attention. Heh.

mellowlee said...

Oooooh drama kewl! :)

Anonymous said...

Wow.. The drama about the three way with the manager and his wife is amazing. I think that in my district, someone would have gotten fired for that.

Love,

Schlatko

Anonymous said...

whoa... i'm sure there will be some soap box series based on the love torn relationships at starbucks (or some other chain coffee joint)... that lesbian drama is HIlarious! fun. seedy sexy starbucks... terrible.

that bakery boy thing just fizzled into a friendship... we don't speak much now since i've moved back to malaysia from melbourne and he ended up going out with some older asian guy who bought him lots of stuff (like LV, Prada and Dior)... became a little toy boy so i kinda lost some respect for him... since the older guy is kinda ugly (and fat) and was really, really annoying... like, camp asian guy annoying... *shudder* they've broken up though...

hmmm... i'm shallow... it's a pity though, cos bakery boy is hot.

Hoodlum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grumpy Housewife said...

Yeah, I remember the drama days of working retail. Like the loss prevention specialist guy, who sexually harassed EVERY single girl, married or not, who came through the door to work for the Blue Home Improvement Store, got a cashier pregnant (oh yeah, and he was married, but not to her), and FINALLY got fired after one of the girls threatened a lawsuit against the company?

Yeah.

Now, I get my drama second-hand, through my restaurant manager husband, and you, Brat. Beats the hell out of daytime TV!

barista brat said...

writeprocrastinator - haha, now i can't get "jerry! jerry! jerry!" out of my head.

anonymous - the scary thing is, i know every bux is this crazy.

skippymom - thanks for the hugs! and it's true, bitter old man is going to look like a saint in comparison!

anonymous - i had no idea cameras attracted such lunatics!

eric - i do too, so long as it doesn't happen when i work!

kiz - originally i started to write the whole drama out, but it waaaaaaay too long. that's why i gave the short version :)

divam - thanks for stopping by!

you'dneverguess - i'd love to hear some of your stories!

beth - haha, too true!

anonymous - that's great about your local bux. how nice it must be for the baristas to not have to deal with people ordering while on the phone.

mellowlee - as long as it's not on my shift, haha!

schlatko - that barista eventually did get fired, but for a totally different reason.

marcus - haha, what is it about the boys who get with the prada buying sugardaddies? i had a friend like that too.

hoodlum - bux pays over minimum wage. even though a barista doesn't get paid 20 bucks an hour that doesn't mean they have the right to NOT DO THEIR JOB, no matter how poorly someone thinks they are being paid. if they truly think they should get paid more, then they should find a better paying job. i hear law enforcement is always hiring.

grumpy housewife - haha, i can't wait until there is bux pregnancy drama to report! maybe your old old loss prevention specialist wants to start working in coffee?

Johnny Yen said...

I've supplemented my teacher's salary for years working at a restaurant. In that business there is similar drama going on frequently, usually among the people much younger than me (I'm 45 and married). Found out recently that there was lots of post-work bunny hutch activity going on amongst various employees. Glad I missed it. Life's enough work without deliberately complicating it.

Anonymous said...

oh no :P we have 3 in store couples.

that's SIX partners! O.o

everyone dates each other xD who cares if it's illegal xD
-fern